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FH = SD's own personal checkbook

they8ntmine's picture

Hi All-
Its been awhile since I've been on here, been busy with the new house and reading "Stepmonster" it was a very good book, btw. I enjoyed reading it imensly and it opened a lot of thoughts for me.

So last week SD texts FH and says we won 1st place for cheer, we're goin to Florida. Yeahh!! He congrats her and the next text is can I have $1,000. This was on a Sunday. He said he will try and help with what he can. It depends on his check. The next text is on Tues: Dad I need the money by Thurs. He says well then I can't help at all, I don't get paid till Fri. Then she proceeds to ask how much his check is. He doesn't give an answer. Then no more texts.

Fast forward to Sun, he talks to BM she's now sayin its $900 for FL and $1500 for DC with school. She tells him she already paid for both trips. Never once telling him dates, hotels, flights, nothing nada. Not asking if he's ok with her going. She just wants more money from him cuz she can't go christmas shopping now for SS. He tells BM that he's trying to get an increase on one of his credit cards and he'll let her know when he hears from them. We don't have that type of money just laying around. Most of our money is accounted for with bills and whatnot.

Last night both SD13 and BM proceed to tell him that SD will be stuck in FL BM only bought a 1 way ticket and SD has no flight home. And they need $350 asap. I'm so irritated with this. FH has seen SD 2 times since May. The only time she contacts him is when its in regards to money other than that she doesn't even call or come over. Not to mention do they think we're stupid?!?!? Its cheaper to buy a roundtrip ticket as opposed to a 1 way.

Ok thanx needed to get that off my chest.

Comments

SusiQ's picture

BM caused the issue she can fix it. If you & your DH don't have the cash to spare then you don't have it -

MIL did this to DH & SS one time. She asked DH & SS to drive with her when she moved from texas to wyoming. I reminded DH about a dozen times, how are you getting home? Oh MIL got us tickets - I said have you seen them? no but it's ok! Well yep they get there and she has no tickets and no $$$ to get them back to Texas. DH & SS went to the airport and had to buy 1 way same day tickets to get back because SS had school the next day. I was livid - they cost us about $2000 for both and we never saw a dime from MIL to reimburse our costs.

One more reason why she's no longer a part of our lives.

buttercookie's picture

If the kid is going to be stranded in FL she has no reason to go then.Money's tight for everyone I'm going through similar with various family members (sadly my own are included) thinking we sit on a gold mind and can crap money out. We can't and we have several family members both dh's and mine with there hands out even in better ecomonic times we wouldn't be able to enable them all to not work or make bad choices

Willow2010's picture

How do some of these kids get like this!!?? I could not imagine my kids even asking for $1000. Much less if I have not really seen them for months and then out of the blue they TEXT to ask for money. Oh hail no.

And how do these so called men put up with it? I don’t see SS becoming a productive adult for a long time. (Almost 18) and I think DH and I will have some issues if he throws money to a perfectly health grown man. My daughter is 22, she lives with us so she can finish college. She works almost full time and goes to school full time. She never asks for money. My son is 17 and works part time and goes to school full time. He asks me if I can buy him a pair of shoes and stuff like that. But that is IT.

SS is 17 and is ALWAYS getting money from DH. Gas money every week. Money to go to the movies, money to eat out on, money for games. It never ends! It is pathetic.

Elizabeth's picture

My SD is 17, DH hasn't seen her at our house since before Christmas last year and only twice since then (once in BM's town and once when she stopped by BD4's birthday party, with a friend). SD just texted him asking him to give her money to buy a friend a birthday present AND HE DID. Before that, it was 1100 for car repairs (he gave her 200 that I know of and probably more that I don't). All this despite the fact that DH has only a temporary hourly job. SD17 knows how much he makes because she's filling out college scholarship applications. STOP ASKING FOR MONEY!

Elizabeth's picture

My SD is 17, DH hasn't seen her at our house since before Christmas last year and only twice since then (once in BM's town and once when she stopped by BD4's birthday party, with a friend). SD just texted him asking him to give her money to buy a friend a birthday present AND HE DID. Before that, it was 1100 for car repairs (he gave her 200 that I know of and probably more that I don't). All this despite the fact that DH has only a temporary hourly job. SD17 knows how much he makes because she's filling out college scholarship applications. STOP ASKING FOR MONEY!

they8ntmine's picture

Thanku for everyones responses!! I feel like I'm going crazy!!

I believe SD and BM believe we're dumb. Honestly!! We looked up 1 way tickets and round trip. Neither one equaled $350. 1 way was approx $200 and round trip was $374 thru United. FH did tell BM last night he'll solve the whole situation and say she can't leave the state. BM's response was she's not moving there. He then told her to reread those papers she signed. She needs his permission to go out of state.

They left him alone for the night after that. Well and he flat out asked his daughter for her coaches name cuz he's also contacting the coach because neither SD or BM want to give him any pertinent info.

We'll see how it goes from there. And if he gives any money it will be an xtra $50 here and there. With our hours cut, insurance and everything else going up we can't afford this trip.

they8ntmine's picture

Thanku for everyones responses!! I feel like I'm going crazy!!

I believe SD and BM believe we're dumb. Honestly!! We looked up 1 way tickets and round trip. Neither one equaled $350. 1 way was approx $200 and round trip was $374 thru United. FH did tell BM last night he'll solve the whole situation and say she can't leave the state. BM's response was she's not moving there. He then told her to reread those papers she signed. She needs his permission to go out of state.

They left him alone for the night after that. Well and he flat out asked his daughter for her coaches name cuz he's also contacting the coach because neither SD or BM want to give him any pertinent info.

We'll see how it goes from there. And if he gives any money it will be an xtra $50 here and there. With our hours cut, insurance and everything else going up we can't afford this trip.

caregiver1127's picture

they8ntmine - I have you beat our BM called up DH this summer and proceeded to ask for 15,000 for a car, car insurance, $1000 SAT prep course, and a trip to Spain which of course BM wanted DH to pay the whole trip for SS so she could go - DH told her - you are out of your mind you get CS and health insurance and we buy SS's clothes - anything more take me to court - that shut her up - do not pay a dime of it - if they won the tournament I would bet that the school would help to pay and if not then they would have fundraisers up the wahzoo - what BM is trying to get you to pay for is her portion to go down there with SD - don't pay a dime tell her if she wants more money take you to court - this is not something the child needs to have it is a privilege to be able to be a cheerleader not a right - why do people expect us to go into debt so they can have fun and if she is not telling you any of the details it is because she is hiding something. As DH told BM we will not go into debt so that SS can fly off to Spain with a few of his friends - this is not even school sponsored it is his Spanish teacher trying to get a bunch of people together to go to Spain and to have a group to qualify for group rates - luckily DH knows that if he puts us into debt I will kill him.

DO NOT PAY FOR A THING - TELL THEM TO TAKE IT OUT OF CS OR FUNDRAISE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND IF SHE IS STUCK IN FLORIDA NOT YOUR PROBLEM - WHO THE HELL ONLY BUYS A ONE WAY TICKET THEY COST SO MUCH MORE THAN A ROUND TRIP BM IS FULL OF SHIT!!!!

Also if I was DH I would call the school and see exactly what is going on - something is very fishy - that is what DH did when BM tried to say that the school was taking the kids to Spain and that is how we found out it was just a group of people going and that BM wanted to go.

donegallass's picture

she won't give you the name of the coach. google the team and get it that way. i am sure if they won something it is online and googable.

i am sure she has known about this a long time too. he is a fool if he gives off the money. plus school trips to places like DC are planned MONTHS in advance.