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If you give a skid a cookie

TheWicked's picture

I should have known being nice would just blow up like this.

SS12 had a rough few days. Trouble at school, rejection from BM, trouble with friend, teacher keeps going on and on about his reading scores, and YSS has just been an annoying pain the ass. I decide I will try to do something nice for him and make his favorite meal and dessert.

As a family we are on a low carb diet so no pasta. Also, SS12's favorite meal is Alfredo which I HATE and no one really likes. His very favorite is an alfredo bake which is not hard but has 10,000 steps and requires lots of pans. His favorite dessert is my homemade chocolate chip cookies which require chilling, due to my schedule in order to chill enough I got up extra early.

So I make the alfredo bake and cookies. DH comes home with SS12 and YSS10. SS12 comes huffing in and slams door literally in YSS's face causing a gash and later a goose egg. DH is pissed screaming ensues.

Finally sit down to dinner. SS12 refuses to come to table. More drama. Finally he comes. Before he sees what we are having he mumbles that he is not hungry and doesn't want to eat anything I make. He sits sees that it is he precious alfredo bake and gets somewhat happy. We all eat then YSS says that SS12 got in trouble at after school program. DH says no one in charge said anything about that. YSS baits SS12 by saying that SS12 lies to the adults all the time and then sucks up so they don't report the behavior.

More drama. SS12 throws his plate at YSS's head. Now food and broken plate are all over. DH grabs SS12 by the neck and hauls him off. DH returns with Xbox and phone and then hauls YSS off and comes back with phone and Xbox as well. YSS comes screaming down the hall and hits DH. DH hauls him back to his room. We clean up.

Then BS16 comes and says YSS has(yet again) run off on his bike. DH goes tracks him down. He comes back and BM is screaming at him on the phone. SS12 hears DH come home and comes out screaming at me that I caused his parents' divorce and am a total bitch and he hopes I die SOON. BS16 gets really pissed and says first of all The Wicked didn't even know your dad until 4 years after your mom left and maybe if she wasn't so busy having sex with everyone she would actually want to see her kids.

Now I have to haul my kid outta there. I take all my bios and we leave the house. We talk about how BS16 response was not good and such and enjoy some window shopping. About an hour later we go home. Everyone has calmed down. BS apologizes for what he said, YSS apologizes to me for his behavior. SS12 refuses to apologize. DH begins to get angry. I say drop it not worth the drama.

I put out cookies for all. Everyone is happy and relaxed then SS12 comes into kitchen. He sneers at cookies and says Why are trying to make me fat? Excuse me? You made me eat all that pasta and now you are making me eat huge cookies. I just turned to my bios and said everyone to rooms and left. DH had words with him about the comments and said I made his favs as a treat. SS12 just got all pissy.

Well at least I never, ever have to make Alfredo bake again!


AllySkoo's picture

Ouch. That is one very, very angry and depressed kid. I'm so sorry ALL of you are dealing with that! I hope your DH can find him some good help soon.

TheWicked's picture

We spent 3 years trying to get him help. Talk therapy, anger issue classes, art therapy, karate, football, dog therapy, he refuses to talk or participate in anything. He would just go and sit and refuse to move or talk. What he really wants is to go live with BM and she doesn't even want him for visitation.

TheWicked's picture

Yep, there is a part of me that did a little smirk and happy dance. I am always worried I will scream something like that when I am angry. It is bad but it is the truth. She used to put the kids in front of the TV with a ton of food then sneak her men in the back door and go up to her room, lock it, and have sex all day. YSS when he was 3 broke his finger in the morning and it wasn't until DH came home around 730pm that it was noticed!

DaizyDuke's picture

Wow, that sounds like a positively hellish evening! Is your house always like this? I can't believe skid 1 threw a plate at skid 2's head!? That's some serious anger/aggression there Sad

TheWicked's picture

Sadly it is often. YSS runs away all the time. He got yelled at, he has to clean his room, no one wants to play with him. And SS12 is pretty much always sullen and angry and physically hurting YSS. And never do we go a day without some tirade from BM via phone, text or email. And she does the same to our pastor and the school. She calls, texts, and emails them all kinds of crazy.

Drac0's picture

>SS12 comes into kitchen. He sneers at cookies and says Why are trying to make me fat?<

Just for that, I'd be forcing him to eat poutine with bacon grease every night.


ETA: And you my dear, are a saint. Don't let anyone tell you any different.

TheWicked's picture

Thanks for the support ladies! And poutine with bacon grease makes me laugh!

simifan's picture

Why in the world would these brats be able to be out of their rooms much less offered cookies? Why would you expose your son to such horrid behavior? Your SS12 injured his brother & throws plates & no one sees anything wrong with this????

Perhaps therapy won't help SS but you should look into it yourself to give you a serious dose of reality.

TheWicked's picture

Um, yes we saw the issue. I also responded above with why they have issues. My children are not so delicate or sheltered. We lived for several years in some very unsettled areas of the world and saw all kinds of ways of living. All of us knew what we were getting into here. While step life is sometimes very stressful and unlikable at times it doesn't mean I just heap more hurt and anger on children. Change is baby steps.

I share here because other stepmoms generally understand. And I like reading others' stories and knowing that some crappy skid behavior happens in houses all over the world. Maybe my story helped another today.

furkidsforme's picture

All I can say is your DH is one seriously lucky man to have found you. He better realize that.

TheWicked's picture

Thanks fur. He is really good to me says how surprised and grateful he is that I put up with what I do.