More opinions?
I am due July 20th, I have been wondering if it would be better for me and Dh to take his daughter before or after (or some sort of split) the baby is born for our month of visitation? If it is before, I will be responsible for watching her while Dh is at work during the day, where as he'll be on paternity leave after the baby is born.
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after i think. will also
after i think. will also give sd a chance to maybe bond with the baby?
i would prefer before, so
i would prefer before, so you can have special time with new baby & dh...... but that's just my selfish opinion
lol two replies, two
lol two replies, two different views! I'm completely on the fence for this one! I don't know how I'm going to be feeling in the summer and it would not be fair to sd if I'm going through braxton hicks or something and she has to watch movies for a month instead of being out side, but on the other hand I could be completely healthy and the extra push to be out side could give me extra excercise.
Then on the other side of the coin, I want Sd to know her sibling, but I'm worried that she will feel ignored if she's around for the hectic first month or so. I also worry that she will not get the sleep she needs if baby is up and crying all night, or she'll think its ok for her to do the same. idk
I would say after as well. I
I would say after as well. I remember when I was 9 months pregnant. I had little to NO patience with anyone. At least after, DH can be there to help, and SD will be able, as Folk said... to bond possibly with the baby.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
I have no patience now lol,
I have no patience now lol, or attention span! (Look at my latest blogs, I can't focus long enough to string more then 3 sentances together!)
Absolutely before...only
Absolutely before...only because I know how I was after I brought Choochoo home from the hospital. I wanted NO ONE near him except me,my mommy, and his dad. If anyone else tried to bond with him I started crying and getting so upset. That first month is such a fragile time for you and for baby...you want it all for yourself. Yeah, it'd be nice for the baby and SD to bond, but there's plenty of time for that. You'll never get those first moments alone with new baby,dad,and you so if it were me, I'd get her before.
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"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut
Wow... do you know my mom?
Wow... do you know my mom? This is exactly what she told me yesterday! lol
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"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut
Can the month be split into
Can the month be split into two parts?? First half before...second half about a month after baby arrives?
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"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."
"Never let the hand you hold, hold you down." ~Aut
Yup, or at least thats an
Yup, or at least thats an option we are entertaining! I'm secretly hoping we can have her for her bday in June, then two weeks at the VERY end of August when the baby is a month old. But BM may not like that. I just want to make sure munchkin gets a KID birthday party not just a bunch of old people giving her gifts like she did last year.
This is a great idea -
This is a great idea - however, if it can't I'd say before as well. Postpartum
depression is a bish!
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lol I'm going to be tallying
lol I'm going to be tallying up votes at the end of this. My mom says before and she counts as two votes (she's had me and my brother) and my bestfriend (who has four kids) also says before for the same reasons. The only person who thinks we SHOULD have Sd after is ..... DH. Go figure. He thinks that she HAS to be there, because she is family. (Maybe I should invite all of my family over too, I have 12 aunts and uncles with atleast two kids each on my moms side!)
Count my vote in on before,
Count my vote in on before, before, before!! When perfectson was born I was like Barbie and didn't want anyone around him except me, my mom and EH. Other little kids are germy germy germy too!!!! Also, for about oh maybe a month, I cried every single day for no reason other than I guess my hormones were trying to get back in check. There is no way I could have dealt with anyone else in my home.
If you can't do it before, then if you can split it, that would probably be ideal, and then like you said, hold off for a month or so after baby is born to give you time to be healed and physically and emotionally ready.
After, she can bond with the
After, she can bond with the baby, plus DH can watch her,
Take her mostly before, and
Take her mostly before, and she can come to meet baby at some point after, but not an entire month. There will be lots of bonding time in future years.
I just had a baby. The first month is a whirlwind. You'll be taking care of baby and you may even need someone to take care of you. You will have no energy for SD in that first month.
"I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. I know I can."
— Little Engine That Could
I really feel that the first
I really feel that the first month is important for you and DH. There will be plenty of time later for SD to bond with baby. Take everyone's advice. You, DH, and baby need to bond first and yes - the first month is going to be very hectic and fun and sleepy. So - SD can bond later - worry about you guys first - and just like stepmom31 said - you MAY need someone to take care of you - and having a baby is something special for you and DH - SD can come later (no offense to anyone) When SD was born they didn't have to share that time with anyone - so why should you have to? That your own special family moment with you new fam!
Neither? HAHA, just
Neither?
HAHA, just kidding...
go to www.random.org and see what comes up.
I would say before, but what if you happen to go into labor when she is around? I don't know if you would find that uncomfortable, but you should have a plan in case that does happen. If it is after why does it have to be for a long time? make it several short appearances throughout the month, so she can see the baby at different stages of the month, and she gives you a break in between. I would like SD5 to see her sibling if I was giving birth, I would like her to go visit me at the hospital so she can be part of the hospital pictures, but ONLY if there is someone else taking care of her and she won't need any attention from her dad or from me. I would also like her to see her sibling as he/she grows a little bit more. That's just me. Depending on the age, and behavior/maturity of your SD, because if she is a young annoying, loud, mean child, I WOULD NOT WANT HER around my baby. For instance, If I had a newborn right now I would not want BS2 to be around him/her at all, as he is noisy, curious, and mean sometimes.
I guess my opinion didn't count because I am somwhere in between.
This is great! I have had
This is great! I have had alot of these thoughts. I suggested to Dh that we talk to BM and have SD every weekend in the summer instead of every other weekend, but he thinks that would be too confusing for her. As for her seeing me in the hospital, it isn't possible because I have to drive two hours to get to the hospital anyways. I can not deliver in my home town, its too small.
Alot of this is up in the air anyways because BM may be moving 12 hours away from us soon. So we would HAVE to take her for the full month.