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Thetis's picture

Submitted by Thetis on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 7:18pm

I don't understand. How can I love someone who hurts me so deep? I'm insignificant to him, but he is my world.
So he called his sister about the easter/bday mix up. I thought he'd work something out so we could all get a bit of what we want.
He found out that it was on the day he first said... Easter. So he said she can take sd for that time.

I have prepared a easter basket, planned an egg hunt, planned a lunch, made arrangements with my mom. But he tells me I'm being selfish. She needs to see her cousin and aunt. Easter isn't a big deal anyways in his family so whats my problem?

Selfish.

I never think about his family.

I don't even want to be a mom to Munchkin anyways.

I just can't do this guys. Every one of those comments stab me like a knife. And I don't mean figuratively. I feel like my heart is going to explode. I think my councillor may need to go back to school because I am having some serious self-harm thoughts right now. I'm such an idiot for putting myself in this situation and BRINGING A CHILD INTO IT AS WELL! WTF have I done?

And why do I still love him even when he makes me feel like this?

Comments

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 7:27pm

thetis, please do not take offense, but you are still very young and that is why you feel you need this man..... thankfully you are old enough to support yourself and new baby on the way....

when i was your age i almost moved across the country with fiance "i could not live without" --- things happened and i did not move... to date i thank god every day that i did not let myself marry this guy.... or have a child... you have a child on the way -- which is a blessing..... locate yourself around family and friends before the birth of your miracle..

do every thing you can to drop SO like a bad habit and prepare for the best (often hard, but worth it) part of your life....... you are worth it and so is your baby.

TheWife's picture

Submitted by TheWife on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 7:46pm

I can most certainly say you are NOT being selfish. Not at all. And let's be clear, this kid is NOT her cousin. He just ISN'T.

(((Thetis))).

I do not feel like you are wrong for wanting SD to be with you guys that day. YOU are her family, and even though DH's sister is her family as well, this kid, as of now, is nothing to her, and probably won't ever be.

I wanna take out my pink boxing gloves on your FDH and give him a good ol' shiner. Because he deserves it for being such a butthead right now.

I would say right now you are too emotional to make any big decisions about your life. You can make your own decisions, but I think you cannot ignore any longer that it might be a wise decision to out off marriage until after the baby is born.

That way any decision that is made, whether yay or nay, won't be made in haste and amid a flurry of baby hormones.

____________________________________________________________________

Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

nightowl2780's picture

Submitted by nightowl2780 on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 7:53pm

I feel you!!! I have wondered why I brought a child into my BFs messed up world numerous times. I just pray that I am enough to steer my child to be better than those I have to deal with.

Remember, you and your child come first in your life - it really doesn't matter if your man is part of it or not - you will be a wonderful mother. When you have a child of your own, you will be more focused on your own offspring than your SD, then you don't have to worry if SD is there or not - its about your child and you can plan away!!!

NewSM10's picture

Submitted by NewSM10 on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 9:14pm

I hate to say it but sometimes it takes leaving to see if he is serious about your relationship. I mean pack all of your stuff and move out to your moms for a week. Do not take his calls and take the time for you to figure out what is best for you and your baby. I have seen it happen so many times in my life to the women around me and it happened to me with my ex. You leave and they finally realize that you aren't going to be their doormat and that you can live without them. They can't stand that. You need for him to see this side of you, not the needy side b/c then he things he can rule your life. I would do it now before the baby is born and it is tough for you to leave. As I said, every time I have seen this happen, and in my personal experience, the man runs back and takes that leap of commitment.

I hate it that you are pregnant and dealing with this stress. It isn't healthy for you or the baby. You need time for you to figure out if it is right or not. If he can treat you this way while you are pregnant who knows what he is capable of. Also, maybe it is he is overwhelmed by bringing another child into this world. He may have felt like he failed the first time and now he is going to be a father to another child.