FDH said he wants BM dead
I posted this in forum too, just because of how FDH saw RED when he saw BM response.
FSD12 signed up for a basketball tournament this summer, (her two siblings are in baseball and softball)
Right before BM arrived to pick up the kids for her week Friday, FSD12 had a meltdown saying things like, "I don't need to bring my basketball stuff to BM she isn't going to let me go to practice." To which FDH and I questioned, "Why not? she has taken you before. she takes FSD8 and FSS10 to ball games and practices, why do you think she won't let you go?" "I just know, she has only taken me once this whole summer (practice has been twice a week since school let out) she won't take me and she will not let anyone come pick me up and take me."
FDH told her, "Look I will talk to BM. I will offer to drive (an hour one way) to come pick you up, take you to practice , and drop you off."
FSD12 was dead set that her BM would not let her go to practice.
Saturday morning FDH sends an email:
"FSD12 wants to go to ball practice on tuesday and to the tournament which starts thursday. They are going over plays at practice tuesday for the tournament. If you are unable to get her to practice tuesday or the tournament thursday or friday, let me know by sunday night at 6pm and I will make arrangements to get her there."
I though his email was businesslike and to the point, BM sent this in response:
"Thanks, but no thanks. It's MY week with the kids. You can make your own arrangements when it's YOUR week with the kids. They'll be ready at 5p.m. Friday, for you to pick them up."
WTF????
Does she hate FDH so much that she is really NOT letting her kid go to basketball practice just to spite FDH???
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Forgot to add: FDH
Forgot to add:
FDH understands it is BM week, but is just so upset that BM does not care that FSD12 wants to do this summer basketball and BM won't take her. Eventhough she takes FSD8 and FSS10 to all baseball practices and games, he feels like FSD12 is being singled out or punished somehow at BM place.
THAT is why he said, "Why can't she just die somehow, the kids would be so much better off without her around!"
I never though she might be
I never though she might be playing back and forth,.... there is no way FDH will ever believe that though,...
We do know that BM boyfriend "the babysitter" is gone this week, he would have been the one to take her. That is the only reason FDH offered.
FSD12 IS getting into therapy, the pediatrician referral already took place and there is a first appt made for FSD12 already,...so hopefully whatever crap is going on can be taken care of.
So FDH is trying to to
So FDH is trying to to control what happens at BM just like she is trying to control what happens here,....
There might be the
There might be the possibility that there is only 1/2 truths to the story of why BM is not taking SD. Perhaps SD is in the 'dog house' at BM's over something and this is BM's discipline. It seems strange BM/BF take the other kids to practice and game but currently not the SD.
While it was generous of DH to offer to do the running under the assumption BF was bust this week, keep in mind DH only got the kid's side of the happenings. Who knows. Maybe SD is 'grounded' from activity and she thought Daddy would get her out of punishment. If there is a chance of this scenario, I'd suggest DH stay out of it. I know if shoe was on the other foot (opposite house) I'd be vivid if SD tried to get BM to come to her rescue.
BM did not notify at all that
BM did not notify at all that any practice (or the last tournament) was missed. And that is in the CO, (to notify the other parent if a child's event will be missed, so the other parent does not show up at the event expecting to see the child perform and no child be there)
So why doesn't DH show up to
So why doesn't DH show up to watch her practices, maybe he will discover his dear precious is lying about mommy dearest not taking her!
The coach has sent emails
The coach has sent emails FSD12 has not made it to practice
No but they put it in their
No but they put it in their CO that one sport per child was not unreasonable and that they must notify the other parent if the child is not going to be there.
BM did not notify FDH and the coach emailed FDH just asking weekdays up, she is wondering why FSD12 is missing.so much and said if she does not make it to practices she will not know the plays and the coach will not be able to play her in the tournament....
So with BM taking the other two kids and not taking FSD12, FDH.is offering to be the ride...
We (FDH AND I) think that FSD12 might be singled out at BMs and THAT is why she is acting out so much.
He needs documentation.
He needs documentation. Specifically, send a certified return receipt requested letter to BM stating that the coach has emailed regarding SD12 missing practice...and quote the part of the CO stating that each parent is to notify the other in case of missed sporting activities. Remind her that they agreed to one sport per child and this is what is in the best interest of the CHILD, not the parent. Also reiterate his offer to take SD himself if it is too much of an inconvenience for BM.
Then hang onto that documentation. It can be used against her in the next court. And if she is this vindictive, there WILL be another court session.