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SD6 could kill somebody and still wouldn't be her fault!!!

TheOtherWomen's picture

Submitted by TheOtherWomen on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 5:05am

Just another quick vent.

Yesterday morning, FDH was moving the cars around the front yard and he lets SD sit on his lap and let her "drive". But this time SD thought she'd play with some buttons. I don't know how but FDH had his his hand in the door window while the window was down and SD closed the window on his finger.

FDH was pissed.

Never once has this child EVER been told about saying sorry. Everyone just says that ok, it's not your fault. Whatever.

WHATEVER?!?!?!!!???

this Child needs to learn from her wrong doings. I don't care if she 6 or 50! she needs to learn about being sorry even if it was an accident. But she's so precious and can't do anything wrong. FFS. And my therapist tells me it's not my position to tell her about her wrong doings? but nobody else does! it's sooooo frustrating!!!

Comments

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 7:04am

Why are you marrying him?

You don't seem to agree with any of his parenting choices plus you're already talking to a therapist. If things are that bad now, why continue?

Delilah's picture

Submitted by Delilah on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 7:21am

He allowed her to drive? To sit in his lap while he was in the driving seat?!! :jawdrop: Bloody hell that is so irresponsible I have no words.

1) A car is NOT a plaything. It is one of the most dangerous items, humans will ever own, if not THE most dangerous thing given we use this daily. Your sd should be taught to respect this, not view cars as toys!!! WTF is your OH thinking?!!!
2) I would be PISSED at FDH and would not give a jot that sd had trapped his finger. Who gives a crap about his sodding finger when an accident could have occurred to someone else while he allowed sd to "drive" and sit on his lap, or the child could have smashed her head or something!!?

Wow just wow, some parents are stupid and teach their children that everything is their playthings and everyone is put on this earth to cater to them. No wonder some children have no idea of respect! God help you when she reaches her teens and good luck as you are going to need it for both sd and your partner, as he's going to be one annoying and irresponsible disney dad! :sick:

Justme54's picture

Submitted by Justme54 on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 7:41am

No disrespect, your FDH is playing with fire. His sore finger should be the last of your worries. Letting her sit on his lap when he is behind the wheel is just stupid. I am sure FDH will say...I was just moving the car. It does not matter. This is like training a dog to stay off the sofa but on Sundays it is ok for them to get on the sofa.

Listen to Stepdown.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 8:04am

My mom would let me help "drive" when I was little.

You shouldn't be teaching her about being sorry, but your fdh should. And you've got problems if he's not doing anything about her behavior. Maybe you two should be getting counseling together.

There is also a chance that she honestly didn't see that he had his fingers in the windows. But she should still be sorry regardless of whether it was accidental or not.

itsmylifetoo's picture

Submitted by itsmylifetoo on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 10:41am

Her being too young to learn those things is bs. My baby bio just explained the word respect to my sd5. She had never heard the word before. I dont understand. For hundreds of years children were required to help around the house, have manners, and be decent human beings. I expect this stuff my kids and they come from a broken home too...its laziness and guilt, the same thing that will result with their children being unable to problem solve and understand that they have to respect people and work for what they want. Unfortunately, its not your job to teach her and youre saddled with the consequences forever.

TheOtherWomen's picture

Submitted by TheOtherWomen on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 5:10pm

I was just reading this blog about respect is earned from dtzyblnd
http://www.steptalk.org/node/166005

and I think that is what annoys me about this kid. Yeah she has manners, she's very polite and good at saying thank you and please (most of the time). But where is the word sorry??

I find it insulting when someone doesn't acknowledge the fact that I've hurt you even if it is an accident to at least appologise. Or am i being too critical?

After the accident I had to have a good talk to her because DFH was still fumming from the pain. I told her, these are my words "cars are not toys and you need to say sorry to Daddy even it if was an accident you really hurt him". She just said I'm sorry in her baby voice as if it was no big deal. I said no, it's not a joke you really hurt him say it like you mean it!

This happens all the time. she plays rough with him and is always hitting him hard, sometimes hitting in the manly-hood. and that's funny!?!?!?!? I don't think it's ever funny when a man or boy gets hit in the nuts. I've told her that this is not acceptable behaviour once before. There's just no consistancy and i think here lies the problem with her discipline. But it's not my job to discpline her. I had a chat with FDH this morning and he said rather than waiting 5, 10, 30 min or an hour later, i need to bring it up with him then and there so he sort it out. I thought I did this with the car window incident?? I suppose I'll nip it in the bud better next time.

TheOtherWomen's picture

Submitted by TheOtherWomen on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 5:10pm

I was just reading this blog about respect is earned from dtzyblnd
http://www.steptalk.org/node/166005

and I think that is what annoys me about this kid. Yeah she has manners, she's very polite and good at saying thank you and please (most of the time). But where is the word sorry??

I find it insulting when someone doesn't acknowledge the fact that I've hurt you even if it is an accident to at least appologise. Or am i being too critical?

After the accident I had to have a good talk to her because DFH was still fumming from the pain. I told her, these are my words "cars are not toys and you need to say sorry to Daddy even it if was an accident you really hurt him". She just said I'm sorry in her baby voice as if it was no big deal. I said no, it's not a joke you really hurt him say it like you mean it!

This happens all the time. she plays rough with him and is always hitting him hard, sometimes hitting in the manly-hood. and that's funny!?!?!?!? I don't think it's ever funny when a man or boy gets hit in the nuts. I've told her that this is not acceptable behaviour once before. There's just no consistancy and i think here lies the problem with her discipline. But it's not my job to discpline her. I had a chat with FDH this morning and he said rather than waiting 5, 10, 30 min or an hour later, i need to bring it up with him then and there so he sort it out. I thought I did this with the car window incident?? I suppose I'll nip it in the bud better next time.