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I Hate Mother's Day

TheOtherMom's picture

Submitted by TheOtherMom on Sat, 04/17/2010 - 9:15am

Besides the day when the skids go to their mother's for the summer, Mother's Day is the worst day of the year for me.
It is the day when SS11 pays homage to his "dream version" of his biological mother and SS9 realizes his biological mother despises him (yeah he honestly said that last year "I know Mom hates me for being a boy. I am not dumb."

I just spent $100 on flowers and cookies to be delivered on Mother's Day.

Last year, BM called DH because we didn't send anything. The skids said they didn't really care so we didn't waste our money. This year the skids said "Yes" ... DH won't do it so I feel obligated to send the gifts. DH won't do it, BM will call and complain and then I have to deal with his attitude. SO to make my life easier, I did it.

Isn't it just RUDE to tell someone to send you presents?

I think this year I will dress in black and go hang out at a cemetery to mourn the loss of my chances for being a BM. We can't afford adoption so I guess I shall have to mourn the loss of being a real mother too.

Comments

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Sat, 04/17/2010 - 9:19am

WHAT? have skids make her a card and that's it -- if that! we don't do anything for bm..... i'm sure my mil does something since she can't seem to quit kissing the ass of the bm she supposedly can't stand.....

TheOtherMom's picture

Submitted by TheOtherMom on Sat, 04/17/2010 - 2:12pm

Yeah, why do they do that? That is the sole reason MIL drives me up the wall. I am afraid of waking up with a knife in my back.

Last-Wife's picture

Submitted by Last-Wife on Sat, 04/17/2010 - 9:38am

Here's what I've always done. Give each skid $1-2 and go to the dollar store. They can each buy a gift, or they can pool their money together to get a "big" gift.

Then I take them to the park, use the digital camera and take nice picture of just them, and we put it in a card they make and give it to her.

Even at 14,15 and 18, this is what we still do.

And I just remember that I am the mom they come home to that night. I am the mom they call for in the middle of the night, when they are sick. I am the mom they call when they miss the bus from school...

"I HAD to pick the road less traveled..."

folkmom's picture

Submitted by folkmom on Sat, 04/17/2010 - 9:51am

$100 ...no way in hell!! last year i took SD to the craft store, had her pic out some foam stuff, used glue and glitter and she made a photo frame and put a pic of her in it...made a card too. total spent...$10,

TheOtherMom's picture

Submitted by TheOtherMom on Sat, 04/17/2010 - 2:14pm

Here's the thing though - I find that since more thought goes into making a gift, I despise the idea of giving BM the effort of a craft.

usade's picture

Submitted by usade on Sat, 04/17/2010 - 3:06pm

bm spends CS on herself, anyway, so she can forget the pat on the back, and shouldn't dare expect a gift, from BF or myself.

TheOtherMom's picture

Submitted by TheOtherMom on Sat, 04/17/2010 - 7:53pm

Funny Smile

soverysad's picture

Submitted by soverysad on Sun, 04/18/2010 - 2:42pm

delete

CRenfort's picture

Submitted by CRenfort on Sat, 04/17/2010 - 6:47pm

You are unable to have children? I'm so sorry. I'm dealing with my infertility too. Mother's Day sucks balls. Sorry for being crass.

That is really sweet of you to help the children with Mother's Day presents. If you raise them right....one day they will realize how much you did for them and the relationship they have with their mom. Good luck!

3bk1sd's picture

Submitted by 3bk1sd on Sat, 04/17/2010 - 8:13pm

We spend no money on BM. She uses the cs for herself all year long, that is our "gift" to her. If SD wants to make her a card or something then that's what she'll get.

TheOtherMom's picture

Submitted by TheOtherMom on Sat, 04/17/2010 - 10:28pm

BM doesn't get child support as we have them all year long. She gets them in the summers.
Of course, DH doesn't get CS either. She somehow proved she can't afford it.
Women are treated totally different in the up state New York court system.
Anyway, I appreciate the input.
It seems reasonable that next year, as they will be 10 and 12, they can figure out this Mother's Day dilemma themselves.

Shell97's picture

Submitted by Shell97 on Sat, 04/17/2010 - 11:56pm

In the beginning, DH & I would take SD13 & SD15 to get presents for BM for Mother's Day & Christmas and BM did the same with Skids for DH & I. We always had a set limit for the gifts. It was $10. Then we all just slowly stopped doing it. Now BM & her SO take Skids to get their gifts and DH & I take Skids to get our gifts. Sometimes our kids get the gifts on their own, with their own money.

stepmom2one's picture

Submitted by stepmom2one on Sun, 04/18/2010 - 2:20pm

oh that must be so hard for them. I switched this wknd for SD to be with her BM and for me to have my DH and boys to myself. It works out best for everyone....

We used to spend just $15 on gifts, when BM got married we stopped spending anything.

$100 is a lot, I hope that psycho at least calls and thanks the boys.

NachoMama's picture

Submitted by NachoMama on Sun, 04/18/2010 - 2:35pm

WOW!!! You are WAY nicer than me. I woild not spend ONE RED CENT on my skids BMs!!!! Not a chance in hell would I ever do that!!! They have all the stuff here to make cards if they want....that's their choice.

****I can do bad all by myself****

NachoMama's picture

Submitted by NachoMama on Sun, 04/18/2010 - 7:53pm

I understand peace in the house!!! I am not very nice either...obviously! HAHA Smile

****I can do bad all by myself****

TheOtherMom's picture

Submitted by TheOtherMom on Sun, 04/18/2010 - 8:24pm

Yes I did. I blogged it because I was mad at the time. I regret it now ... I was just trying to keep harmony in my house.
We will see what happens on the 9th of May.