So BM moved to a different place for awhile. She texted DH and told him that he needed to drop the skids off at this address when they come back from summer visitation because she is going to be living there for awhile. It is even further for DH to drive there then it was to BM's before. So he asked her if they can meet somewhere halfway since it's further for him to drive. Of course she said no and that he needs to drop them off. Same s***, different day!
So yesterday when I got home skids were slamming doors. DH tells both of them to go take a bath. YSS is arguing with DH I just walk right on by and ignore both of them. Disnengagement is getting easier! DH asked me if I wanted to talk. I told him that we could talk about things when the skids go back to BM's this coming Sunday. He said ok and went to the kitchen because the skids were whining that they were hungry. DH made sausage for them. I didn't bother to tell him to clean up the mess.
So DH and I had an argument last night. He was asking me why I am such a controk freak. Well I had asked him to tell his kids to clean the bathroom because I am not their maid. He said that I was being demanding about little things. He said that it wasn't just about making his kids clean the bathroom that it was me demanding him to do things all day long. So evidently I am on his butt to much and asking him to do too many things. He also makes comments about how useless my dog is. I could say a lot to him but what is the point.
The month of hell is almost over next week will be the last week then it goes back to EOW until school starts back up again. DH has them on Thursday night and EOW plus holidays during the school year. BM has been quiet since something is keeping her busy. When the skids go back next week I have a feeling she will start her drama up again. So she sent a picture of a receipt when she took the skids to the dentist. CO states that she has to provide receipts, statements, etc however, we have always provided an actual paper copy to her.
I have tried to exclude myself out of doing anything for the skids however, Dh gets upset about this. I just keep on telling him that they are his kids and his responsibility. The other day he waited until the last minute to tell me that he had a doctor's appointment to get injections in his back and he didn't want to have to take YSS with him so he asked me if I could come straight home from work so he wouldn't have to take SS with him.
As long as BM is happy and getting her way she leaves my DH alone. It's funny she hasn't bugged or contacted DH about anything harassing him. The only time she contacts DH is when she isn't happy or something is going on bad in her life. Don't get me wrong it's been nice not to have BM harassing my DH. Am I imagining things or does anyone else notice their DH's ex doing the same thing?
So DH talked to YSS yesterday again about not wasting food and I was going to take a nap because I haven't been getting enough sleep however, there was a very loud noise coming from the kitchen and it ended up waking me up. DH was in the kitchen so I called him on his cell phone and asked him what the loud noise was. He said OSS was chopping onions. I told him well tell him to be more quiet because you know I am trying to take a nap. DH tells me well you know his brain doesn't operate that way.
For the most part I have tried to disengage from the skids however, last night I gave in because my DH wasn't feeling well which was a big mistake and now I realize I cannot give in anymore because things are never going to change. So DH wanted to go lay down last night and I had been at work all day and YSS wanted barbeque ribs for dinner.
Everyone around me keeps telling me that I am a mean person and that I just want to punish the skids. In reality I just want some respect and order in my household. SS does things on purpose and I am always on edge when he is around because of the things that he has done to DH and to me. I know that I cannot change how these kids were raised but I do have the right to be respected and have a say in my own home! Is there any other approaches that actually work besides taking things away? I just feel that this kid is so deceitful and is so fake.