You are here

Letter in the mail....

tankh21's picture

Submitted by tankh21 on Wed, 03/27/2019 - 6:01am

So...I check the mail yesterday and low and behold there's a something from BM. DH opened it and it's a notarized letter and an itinerary to some resort in Florida. CO states that DH has until April 1st to let BM know when he is taking the skids for his 30 day summer visitation. He sent her a notarized letter last week in certified mail letting her know when he was taking them for his 30 day summer visitation. I noticed BM bought the plane tickets last month and the room for the resort was also booked last month. Apparently once again BM thinks the CO doesn't pertain to her. Is BM considered in contempt for this?

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Wed, 03/27/2019 - 6:41am

Are the dates BM booked for the resort trip during the month Dad notified her he was taking his extended summer parenting time?

tankh21's picture

Submitted by tankh21 on Wed, 03/27/2019 - 11:36am

Nope, but CO states that DH has to give her written notice by 4/1 and if he does not then his visitation will be from July 1st until the 31st. I would think BM would have to wait to make any plans until she receives written notice per the CO?

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Wed, 03/27/2019 - 6:49am

Do their dates conflict?  

She  is not in contempt until she violates the oder.  If their dates conflict and she withholds the kids, that's a problem.

If I were her, I'd go to court and request that the  summer dates be stated in the order.(for example all of July with dad all of August with mom).

I'm a planner. I plan vacations at least a year in advance.   Having to wait until April 1 to  make summer plans would be an issue for me.   

I think set summer dates is fair to both parties.  

Monkeysee's picture

Submitted by Monkeysee on Wed, 03/27/2019 - 7:50am

I agree with this. I’m also a planner & I hate not knowing what’s happening when. I would really hate not being able to book something because you’re waiting to hear from an ex on when they want to take their allotted time, so much simpler to have it planned out in advance & less room for confusion.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Wed, 03/27/2019 - 8:03am

What is the exact wording of the CO? Does it say that DH has the choice in dates and has until April 1 to notify BM of those 30 days?

If that is the case then, yes, she has to concede to your date notification. HOWEVER, is this a hill to die on? Do you have things booked that you can move around so that the dates don't conflict? If it is something that can be taken care of with no financial penalty to you, I would just move my dates around BM's trip. 

tankh21's picture

Submitted by tankh21 on Wed, 03/27/2019 - 11:40am

The CO states that DH has to give written notice by 4/1 if he does not then his visitation will be from July 1st through the 31st. It also says BM must give him written notice by 4/15 and may designate one weekend when the skids are with DH for the 30 day summer visitation. It doesn't say anything in the CO that BM may designate any days during the summer but one weekend and according to the letter it says that she will be taking the skids on July 1st which falls on a Monday. This is just goes to show that BM has no regard for anyone else and does what she wants.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Wed, 03/27/2019 - 12:41pm

DH needs to write something out in a very professional way stating that "In the best intrest of SD" that he will allow BM to intrude on his parenting time on this one occasion. Next year he will follow the order to the letter so keep that in mind before booking any trips before April 1st. 

Then I would just revise the dates for after SD gets back in town for the next 30 days- As long as you didn't have anything booked or planned that can't be changed.

tankh21's picture

Submitted by tankh21 on Wed, 03/27/2019 - 11:42am

No it doesn't. But, I just think that she needs to follow the CO just like he does will that happen probably not!

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Wed, 03/27/2019 - 12:27pm

She is following the court order.  The kids will be available for the days your husband requested.

Honestly, I'm willing to bet your husband gave her a verbal heads up about the dates he was planning to request.

If mom has not shared DETAILED information about her travel plans this far in advance(is she even required to do so?)in the past, then my gut says they discussed there summer plans a while ago.  

Really, how many BMs share detailed travel plans this far out?

 

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Wed, 03/27/2019 - 1:01pm

At the time she sent the letter... your DH had already notified her officially of his dates. The fact that she made plans prior to his official notice is not a violation of the CO.... it may have been I'll advised since your dh might have asked for those days.  But he didnt. Either he had already given her a heads up or she got lucky.

Her plans dont hurt your plans... stop borrowing trouble with this.  She did not violate the order.