Calling all child support and legal experienced BP/SP!
My DH has 2 children with the BM. SD's 7 and 5
Since before SD 7 was born my DH has written a check monthly to the BM, Every 2 years they sign a new agreement.
through the 7 years, they have shared children there have been a lot of disputes and threats but never any real attempts or efforts from the BM
DH had a new agreement drawn up through our attorney for the BM to sign this year. BM refuses to meet to sign it, so DH told her to arrange a meeting with the court system so they can get something done legally for the children. Unless the agreement is signed or an order set in place our attorney told us in the state of Kentucky that courts only recognize his check as a gift.
SD's came to us last year in August for the umpteenth time with lice and dirty, DH called CPS the investigation is ongoing but so far we have been told nothing to harm or jeopardize the girls have been found. BM threatened to keep children from DH, he went to an attorney and local police where he was told that a court order would have to remove the girls from the home and place with him until then he could not get his children from the BM unless there was cause to do so.
Fast forward to today the BM is pregnant with her 6th child, the man she is with now does not work or provide for their children. DH and I halted all checks going to BM after she came to us requesting more money for the SD's Field trip. When asked where the support for the children was going she told us that she had to buy her other children's costumes and diapers!??? THAT WAS FOR MY DH'S CHILDREN NOT HER OTHER 4!!!
DH works out of town so he will have to take off time from work and now take from our budget for our children here at home.
BM has called requestion money because her children are going hungry...
When we asked where the food stamps went that she gets for all of them she said she had to sell them for money for cigarettes.
Everyone I speak within our circle says we are doing the right thing by waiting to hand over a check until something is legally set in motion, but to continue making sure our girls have what they need clothes, shoes money for school, etc.
What I want to know and am curious about is
WHY won't THIS WOMAN SIGN A NEW AGREEMENT OR GO TO COURT OVER IT, but continue to make our lives hell!???
Why threaten to keep the kids away from a man who actually works and provides for them and shows them a good life when they are with us?
My oldest SD told me last week that she wished daddy and I lived closer so she could have a sleepover with us every night..
A few months ago I disengaged from the children... but it is hard to remain silent about it and not be there for them in times like this...
it is like when they come with us they are shown life isn't just about laying at home making babies... we both work, we both provide and our kids are always clean, etc... I just will never understand this...
Why is the BM keeping the situation like this??? and why in the heck is the system so flawed!!!
and how in the world do I support my DH? I don't know what to encourage or to tell him..
How does that work if he continues to purchase things for the girls that they need but does not send a check.
I was told that the custody/child support case could go one of two ways.
one... they would allot my DH 50/50 custody and request a probable cause and reason why the mother has never worked and could not provide for her children.
DH would have to backpay CS from the time he halted sending the money to the BM til ongoing.
regardless id be happy either way... we keep savings for the BM's Children for that purpose I just stay on my toes worrying about how things might end up for my DH
We have been doing so good, and communicating so well the last few weeks i don't want the Bio hag to ruin this again.