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No-spanking law for kids under age 3 proposed for California

SympatheticBioDad's picture

No-spanking law for kids under age 3 proposed for California
By Mike Zapler
MediaNews Sacramento Bureau

SACRAMENTO - The state Legislature is about to weigh in on a question that stirs impassioned debate among moms and dads: Should parents spank their children?

What's your opinion?



Gwen's picture

That's outrageous. While we personally don't rely on spanking for discipline, largely because the kids respond well to other kinds of discipline but probably for other reasons as well, I will never forget a close friend explaining how her 18 month old toddler had a habit of wandering into the street (even under close, constant hand-holding supervison, the toddler would try to step off the curb), and no correction worked except one firm swat on the bottom, in the moment, with a stern "NO!". The little girl remembered that correction where the NO! by itself had not worked, and never tried to pull into the street again. We all hold our kids' hands constantly and never let them out of our sight for a second, but what if the worst happens, and they do get out of our sight for a second (for those of you who still insist it never happens -- what if you faint, lose consciousness, etc.) . . . is foregoing one good swat worth the potential consequences? Spanking children under 3 is not the problem. People having children who aren't ready to have children is the problem. Let's focus on preventing that, and when we cannot, let's educate those folks about being good parents and about appropriate/inappropriate discipline. My opinion.

h6not3's picture

Enough said..... My opinion

But only my children, not the step-children

jlmtik164's picture

What led the state to propose this stupid law? Definitely, there is a difference between spanking to discipline and spanking which becomes abusive. Parents should be able to distinguish those two. I don't think its right to spank kids who are 2yr old or less. For kids 2yrs-3, a little pop on their bottoms when you have exhausted all other disciplinary options won't kill them and that works a lot as long as its not done frequently. When we were kids, we got a good share of spanking, and we grew to be very normal and successful adults. I know for sure that if it were not for the spankings, I could not be where I am today. No wonder kids nowadays will spit, talk back, cuss out their parents coz they know all they will get is some time out or being grounded. And finally what do kids do, beat up or kill their parents coz they can't have their way. I have seen kids who get spanked when its necessary and they are very good kids with no behavior issues. I have also seen kids who don't get spanked and they are the most rotten creatures to have around, all in the name of love. There are kids who do not need to be popped and are well disciplined. If you have such kids, thank God. I know too that kids who get spanked all the time are most likely to imitate that and they think they will get what they want by hitting others. Its upto the parent to know when to spank. And people always wonder why today's children are so out of line compared to past generations. Way back, parents disciplined their kids right. And if you don't have kids, don't come telling me how to discipline my kids. How many members of the California state legislature have kids?

OldTimer's picture

and here we have an overcrowding situation in our prisons, rapists and child molesters on the street, drug infested neighborhoods, with marijuana harvesters using seemingly innocent well established neighborhood rentals as pot growing factories... yet, my wonderful state choices to always side step the bigger issues for things such as... banning spankings. Great.

I don't know what pee brain dreamed this one up. I just heard about this on the news last night, and my DH and I looked at each other... Stupid, stupid, stupid.

IMO, I think that there are times when you have to use a little more gusto for punishment, and one good ole swap on the bottom is enough. While I don't approve of multiple, out of control whippings, which is probably what this is suppose to be controlling. This, however, is not EVER going to control, or correct any adults out there that have anger issues.

SympatheticBioDad's picture

Assemblywoman Sally Lieber, D-Mountain View, is behind the legislation. The article also mentions that she does not have any children of her own. Figures!

I find the words she chose when refering to spanking interesting: "I think it's pretty hard to argue you need to beat a child 3 years old or younger," and "Is it OK to whip a 1-year-old or a six-month-old or a newborn?" She is trying to lean on people's emotions to carry her argument. There is a huge difference between spanking and beating a child.

It all comes down to self control, like anything else in life. It's no different than sending your child to bed without dinner as a punishment. I don't see anything wrong with that, as long as you don't do it for a week straight!


stamina's picture

Everyone has different perspectives on what this line between abuse and discipline is...whose perspective is right? How do we know this? It is kind of a subjective sort of thing. There are kids who are spanked who grow up well and kids who aren't who also grow up very well. There are so many variables that contribute to spank or not to spank is only one.

As parents, it is like anything else, we make decisions for our children and we/they live with the consequences of the decisions. There is no manual to parent by only our own subjective opinions and experiences. Some choices are good ones and some are not...only time tells us this.

OldTimer's picture

this is going to be used as another avenue for those to 'incriminate' people based on this law... they will be 'beating' their children, so great, now we just gave more fuel to already overzealous empowered mental ill BMs with personal vendettas out on their ex using the kids... great.

Anne 8102's picture

A swat on the behind never killed anyone and don't we have more important laws to pass, such as, hmmm, I don't know, maybe the DEATH PENALTY for any convicted child molester?! SPARE ME!

~ Anne ~

Anonymous's picture

No matter how I feel about this subject, I have no right to tell anyone how to raise their child.

When my son was two years old, we were in a park. My son kept making a beeline for the nearby driveway. After twice talking to him patiently, and explaining he could be hit by a car, he continues his behavior. So instead of taking the chance of him getting flattened by an SUV, I gave him a nice swat on his behind and explained he could expect more of the same if he kept it up. He's 17 now, happy, an honors student, we get along great, ect..... So don't tell me what to do. Does a 3 year old want to get spanked? No... they don't want to eat spinich, or brush their teeth, or go to bed early...but thats life. If you don't feel you want to spank your kids ever, I fully back your right to think that way.