Reflections from the Weekend
Well, I had another one of those evenings over the weekend when my husband blew up for no apparent reason, left the house, post haste, leaving with me with all 3 dogs, albeit one being the puppy getting around on 3 legs. All the dogs and I looked at him like he was from Mars....he is not happy at work, still bringing it all home. I have nowhere to escape. Nowhere to even turn. I won't call my parents and tell them about it. It just keeps happening too frequently. I figure eventually he will come back after an hour, but the apologies do get old and don't mean much. This time he was so mad he told me I was retarded. It hurts. And I don't feel that I deserve to be treated like this. It's how I know deep within myself, I am going to get back on my feet and get another job so that I am not beholden to anyone.
My stepson called this evening and he is talking about getting out of the Air Force rather than re-enlisting. He is often looking for an easier path and doesn't like authority or discipline. Now he wants more priviliges and to live off base. I tried to explain to him that there would be more responsibilities and bills and he needed to think about those things and also his future.
Especially, that another four years in the Air Force wouldn't hurt him since he is young, and he could get more technical knowledge and build up savings. He has been dating the same girl for about 4 years now so I expect that eventually it may become permanent and he will need to have some financial stability. I don't know if he will think about what I said or not. The young men try to get everywhere fast. Also, my husband decided that he was going to get after my stepson for not sending me a birthday card and I send that it didn't matter. As I see things now, you just can't change people for what they are unless they want to change. So, my husband had spoken to my stepson first, and then handed me the phone, and my stepson apologized, and then also mentioned and congratulated us on our 7th anniversary as well. I don't mean to be pessimistic but it doesn't really change things at all. People make time for what is important to them and this just wasn't.
Today, I got hit in the face trying to dodge the screen door handle carrying the puppy outside and letting my miniature poodle who walks to the beat of a different drummer in at his own speed in. So, I have a nice scratch beneath my right eye. Altogether, this wasn't my weekend either. But I have an appointment with my Dr. for the problems with my ankles collapsing as I've fallen and cracked my head and other things twice in 3 weeks. Sometimes I am waiting to see what will happen next. I feel like some kind of freakish accident or sideshow.
I'll be finishing up taxes in the next couple of days and hope the remainder of the week will be quiet.