I thought I married my husband. I recognized that I would become a step-mom, but I figured that since the kids had their own mom I wouldn't factor into things too much.

WRONGOLA - My teen SD waged an all out war on me, with the encouragement of her former SM. (I'm wife number 3) She eventually decided to move out because she would have to go one night without her TV/Radio. The real issue is that the adults were going to be in charge of the house, not her. She has never forgiven me for setting boundaries and I suspect never will. My in laws are polite to me, but I think they hold Lisa's anger against me. Despite the fact that her Grandma got so fed up with her that she made my husband drive to Oregon with a broken foot to retrieve her from a family event.

Husband's second wife has made the pursuit of attacking me into a quest with no rules or sense of fair play. Her favorite tactic is to try and turn not only her daughter, but my husband's other children against me.

I do my best, educate myself, network with other SM when I can, but I always feel like I am under the microscope. It seems like I have to listen to all my in-laws judgments of me, but get no opportunity to give my side of the story.

When SD moved out her Grandma sat me down and told me that "Lisa is still part of the family." I did not kick her grand-daughter out, I just set some very basic boundaries for the sake of the other children and my marriage. I am insulted that I am being treated like the evil-step-mother after working so hard to do right for teen SD.

Most of the people who are judging me would never take that crap from their own kids, but if I set any limits I'm villanized. My Mother in law is trying to be nice to me, but she tends to second guess me anytime I tell my SD to do something. I really am tired of all these armchair psychologist second guessing every last thing I do. NONE of them have been step-parents.

To make matters worse, I am a recovering alcoholic. Five years of my life has focused around sobriety, but everyone seems to consider my recovery fair game for attacking me. I did not even meet my husband until I was well into sobriety and I don't feel that I owe these people any explanation. They don't want to hear about any other parts of my recovery like being a sexual abuse survivor. I guess surviving abuse isn't a good way to put me down. Many of their children and grand-children drink and or use heavy drugs, but they are not attacked in the way that I am. Incidently, my husband is also in recovery and my Mother in law was an alcoholic too.

I don't know how much more I can take without blowing up at everyone.

Well, that's all for now. I am getting toxic and I think I should do something else.