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Susanna's Blog

The occasional glimpse of a light at the end of the tunnell.

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Well, I have certianly shared my problems on this site so I thought I should check back in and share a few positive notes. Despite the best attempts of BM #1, BM #2, and SD #1, I have developed a pretty good relationship and repor with SS #2 and SD #2.

Last night SD gave me a homemade card that refered to me as Mom. I was quite pleasantly surprised. I have also had some positive dealings with SS who is now 13.

The fun continues...

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We just did a modification and the parenting plan requires that we jump through all sorts of hoops. BM is accusing my hsb of breaking into her house to steal a picture of sd. I don't think so. We have oodles of pics of sd of our own. I am quite certian that my hb did not risk a felony to do a break in that would be completely out of charactor for him. These accusations are ridiculous.

Talked to husband, but I'm right back to square one.

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There are so many complications with my in-laws and they have come to count on our household as being about the most neutral place they have. If I ask SD not to come, it will be seen as an attack on their entire family and me as the villian.

If I put up with her crap I will always be putting up with her crap.

Ug.

Both holidays will be held at my house this year.

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Turkey day and Christmas which I actually do not celebrate as I practice earth based spirituality, but nonetheless I am hosting Thanksgiving and Christmass for all my in laws.

There is so much drama in this family. I'm happy that I will be seeing the in-laws that I like, but there are parts of this I just dread.

Husband no longer MIA, which is good, but.....

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As usual it get s turned around to being a situation that is blamed on me. When I tried to make inquiries about where he might be everyone flew off the handle. My step-daughter called and bitched about how I "called 911." I was told to call 911 by the Sherriff's department. In our state that is the only way to get a hold of anybody. I was only trying to find out if he had been in any accidents since he was not responding to his cell phone.

My husband seems to be missing...and now I'm trying to keep adult skids from overreacting.

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This is bizarre. My husband went missing this morning. He was supposed to go somewhere to get a truck with my ss who is 21. Anyway, he is not answering the cell and no one has heard hide nor hair of him all day.

This is not like him. Anyway, I'm communicating with my in-laws and my sd who has always hated me passionately called me. It was very odd.

Well, I hope my husband is not in any trouble. SD wants to call the jail and see if he's in custody.

What is the big old deal about the drop off anyway.

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There is always so much drama at these events. You would think that the parents would try to keep up appearances for the kids, but it just seems to be an absolute circus show in so many cases.

I tend to avoid the drop off / pick up for that exact reason, but there are times we are doing family things and it's unavoidable.

I will never understand how people can be so petty right in front of the kids. It is really just ridiculous.

Growl.

// Susanna

my thoughts and ideas on the feminist aspect of being a step-mom.

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I've been thinking lately about why it is that step-mom's get such a hard time. I sometimes wonder if it's not indicitive of the general disregard our society has for women's work. A step-mom reminds people that the Mother divorced the father of her children (however willingly) and another woman fell in love with that man. Since many parts of our culture still frown on divorce, it's somewhat natural that step-mom approval ratings would be low.

Today I felt like the step-monster

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My SD has had this huge pile of clothes that don't fit her anymore. I finally got her to try on the clothes. First she resisted, then she just went into the bathroom, didn't change and lied about it. She is 7 BTW. When all was said and done she has maybe 3 pieces of clothing at our house that do fit her. BM refuses to send a bag with her at all. Mainly just to be petty. Finally, Sd wants to take the one t-shirt we have for her home to her mom's. I was so drained and I really think my husband should have been the one to take care of this months ago.

I have mellowed quite a bit about being a step-mom

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I used to let a lot of the drama with BM and skids in and now I am kind of distanced from it. A few years of dealing with it, a couple books, and this site, and things seem fairly in hand. I suppose it helps that I took an interest in DV adcocacy and took a job assistant a family lawyer. I now see the most horrific, horrendous examples of what can happen in a divorce on a regular basis. Interestingly, I don't really take my work home much, but it definitely gives me perspective on what is going on with my own situation.

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