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new here, my story -stepdaughter spoiled brat

sunriseandshine's picture

Submitted by sunriseandshine on Sun, 09/11/2011 - 8:04pm

hi new here, looking for help, suggestions? i have been married to my husband for 3 years, we each have a an 8 year old daughter and they are complete opposites, just like me and my husband.
My daughter is a pretty good kid,good grades, gets awards at school, teachers love her. She is kind and considerate and pretty laid back. My step daughter is extremely smart but lacks respect for anyone but herself,her mother ( whom she lives with) spoils her rotten, she is rude, doesn't listen, and throws tantrums like a 3 year old. She can't even eat one meal without making a huge mess ( like she gets food on her hands and smears it all over the table). She is driving me insane. i get a pit in my stomach every other weekend when I know she is coming over, I feel so ashamed. I love kids,but everything she does just gets to me.
Also to top it off everything comes easy to her, both girls started cheer leading for different schools last year. My daughter worked hard every practice and game, and practiced at home. His daughter never paid attention at games not sure about practice.She was embarrassing to watch sometimes i even saw her picking her nose once. But when they had their competitions even though my step daughter threw a temper tantrum and quit cheering on the sidelines at one point, her squad won the whole thing. Now my daughter took it great but I almost cried when they announced who won. Then her mom bought her a bunch of stuff that cost a fortune right in front of my daughter,which she knows we just can't afford and she let her take it back to our place and she bragged about it and winning the whole weekend. My husband works 3 jobs and I shop at bargain shops and yard sales so his stupid ex can get her child support and drive around infancy cars with her fiance who makes a lot of money and feed my step daughter steak and lobster. I just can't take it anymore, every time I ask her to do anything it is an argument. she fights with my daughter all the time, she says rude hurtful things. And I just hate feeling this way. Anyone have any suggestions? I want to make things better.

Comments

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Mon, 09/12/2011 - 2:35am

I'm sure you know yourself deep down that having money to buy a lot of "stuff", or being given stuff by your parents, does not make you a likeable person - this has been proved by your SD. She will end up a nasty little grasping madam, like my own SD14, while your daughter who is considerate and laid back, will always have friends, which is much more important than a fancy car on a cold night.

It sounds hard for you and your DH having to work so hard to "support" an already affluent family, and very unfair. But this will not be forever, sometimes one just has to try and take the long view.
DOn't bother feeling ashamed when you feel dread about her coming EOW, I feel exactly the same about my two SDs coming, and kiss the ground when they leave on Sunday evenings. Your SD sounds an unpleasant, selfish girl, and I wouldn't waste your finer feelings on her for one minute longer than necessary, certainly don't feel guilty.

java's picture

Submitted by java on Tue, 09/27/2011 - 8:03pm

Druzilla
OMG! My new life story! Not sure what to do!
His ex is currently taking him to court and using everything she can to make us look bad! Our 2 10 year old daughters got us together, now his is trying to break us up! She is spolied, same situation as you! The only difference is the ex is using her for information to use in court, and she takes little things and tries to blow them up! I love this man dearly, never before have I felt this way! But his ex and his daughter are hell bent on tearing us apart. Not sure how much more I can take. His 7 year old son, my 13 year old son and my 10 year old daughter all get along very well, it is his 10 year old daughter who is being manipulated by her mother (who has learned to manipulate him)who is the problem. She on two occasions has even slapped her father in the face, which my children to this day are appauled by. Love him want to be with him, but am having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
Please help