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Feeling lost Tuesday

sunny_skies's picture

I've had an emotionally hard week. Cried a lot. Realised a lot. Stuff that's been there in my face for years, but only *just* realised it for what it is.

It's been a shock to the system and it's life changing stuff. I don't know what to do, or who to turn to for help with it. I wouldn't even know what to google for this s**t.

My anxiety renders me useless to talk to anyone for fear it may be repeated to someone else. And the one person I thought I could talk to (my mom) is the one person I can't talk to about this.

I haven't done any exercise or much else this week. I'm ashamed to say that I've just parked DD3 in front of my iPad and let her watch YouTube videos. I don't have the energy, or the heart for my own daughter right now.

Omigosh. Yes I admit there's a certain element of feeling sorry for myself here. But I just can't do it right now. The adulting thing. Nope. Can't do it.

I rarely talk about my life on STalk. Just mainly read and learn. Which I'm so thankful for. I just don't know if I can share this comfortably.

Basically I've been struggling very badly. I've just realised this isn't really a TUT blog. Just got into the habit of posting on Tuesdays.

I don't know how I did this week with no exercise and no thoughts for food intake.

Ok I'm done Sad

Comments

Tuff Noogies's picture

((((hugs))))

i've been having a really rough time too that i have *not* blogged about. so you're not alone. just keep putting one foot in front of the other and take it one day at a time.

just an idea, any possible way you can go outside for a few minutes and just do a few simple stretches? the fresh air is wonderful and stretching can help with anxiety.

either way, even tho' this is anonymous, you still have a gaggle of girls here sending you virtual hugs and support!!!

classyNJ's picture

((HUGS)) and peaceful thoughts coming to you. Remember you are not alone. There are people, especially here, that will listen to you if you need to share.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Sunny, I am also struggling with a lot of things. Some I can put on STalk; some I'm dealing with alone. I've gained 10 lbs in 2 months because I'm stress eating. Just one more (10 more) straw on this camel's back.

{{{hugs}}}

uofarkchick's picture

I know what you mean. The thought of parenting and carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders is enough to make you want to crawl back in bed. It happens to everyone but not everyone is strong enough or humble enough to admit it.

IslandGal's picture

Hugs to you Sunny..i woke up feeling like shit this morning..dramas with SOs twunt of an ex. I turned on music and made myself drive to the coffee shop (our locals closed for 6 whole, entire weeks..sob!). I got myself a junbo mudslide mocha..ignored my asses groaning..and sipped it sloowwly. Then I got the boys active (SS14 and BS18) and they mowed and whipper snipped the yard while I cleaned the entertainment area. Felt so much better after that.

Sometimes you just need to spoil yourself..or get good and active. Id chase my cat but hes gone into hiding right now. He hates the sound of the lawnmower. Im 52 but sometimes feel 90..thats when i give myself a stern talking to. My neighbor is 89 and still mows her own lawn. Shes irish and is very, very active. She shames me when I'm feeling lazy..lol!!

Chin up darl..your poster name makes me think of all things bright n bubbly..which I'm sure you are..hugs to you!!

moeilijk's picture

It can be a challenging time of year at the best of times. It's a lesson I'm working hard on myself, but taking care of yourself is nothing to feel guilty about. It's a challenge to adjust the bar to what's possible for today - but I need to do that, because what I can do for myself, for others, is just not a fixed performance.