FYI: If you don’t like your step-kid, you’re not normal!
SD9 has been gone for four and a half weeks. It's been AMAZING! The longest break that I've ever had was two weeks. My SO is the custodial parent and BM lives in another state, so her visits are once every two to three months. SD was supposed to return on Monday, but her BM got COVID-19, so they are quarantining and she is coming back later than planned.
SD has only called three times since she left and each time, she sounds like she's being forced to call. Last night, I had a missed call from the grandmother's phone. I called back and SD was like, "I didn't call you guys." My SO said, "You're probably like, I don't want to talk to you guys!" She laughed and then there was a moment of silence before she said, "That... would... be... mean... to... say..." Which translates to, "Yes! True! I didn't say that though." LOL! We got off of the phone and I was like, "She sounds so happy with them. She doesn't sound like she wants to come back. She doesn't even sound like she misses us! Good for her! I'm glad." I really am happy about it because for one, I feel the same way about her being gone. For two, she used to call every day on her visits and try to sound as miserable as possible. She'd put on a big show on the phone, only to have her BM or grandmother tell us that she was having a great time.
My SO did his best to convince himself that she does want to come back. Since she turned nine, she is always in trouble here. She walks around like she can do whatever she wants. She is dishonest, manipulative, disobedient, and sneaky on a regular basis. She's rude unless she wants something from you, in which case you get the fake little angel that other people usually see. I KNOW she's happier over there because she is treated like the center of the universe AND she has zero rules. I have been BLISSFULLY HAPPY since she's been with her BM and my SO has been in mourning. If you read my other posts, their relationship is very one-sided. SD acts like her father is annoying, dispensable, and unimportant. She has even told me and my kids that she'd rather live with her grandmother than her father if we were to split up.
Anyway, he said that he wants to make it more appealing for her to be here when she comes back. He said that if she starts her lying, sneaky crap right away, we need to "not be down her throat about it." I was like, "Seriously?! So we let her misbehave so that she WANTS to be HERE instead of THERE?! Hard pass, buddy." My kids are expected to follow the rules and behave, so you damn well better believe that she has to do the same. I don't care if that makes her want to be with her BM. He said, "You know that it's not normal for people to not like their step-kids, right? You know that you're NOT NORMAL!"
LOL! He's clueless. It's easy for him to like MY KIDS because they are LIKEABLE. I thought it was hilarious though because there are A LOT of us who don't like our step-kids. Not only here, but on other websites, at my work, etc. He's delusional and misinformed.