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Star Students

strugglingSM's picture

This week, SSs' school started keeping track of "attendance" for remote learning. Students are marked present if they correspond with their teachers and hand in all assignments. They are marked tardy if they correspond with their teachers, but don't hand in all assignments. They are marked absent if they make no contact with their teachers. They receive one mark for the entire week. 

This week - drumroll please - both SSs were marked absent in all classes. This is despite BM's claims that she is exhausting herself making sure they keep up with their school work and both SSs telling DH that they are doing what they need to do with their school work.

Both were "below grade level" in reading and math before all this, so good luck to them in high school next year. My only wish is that they graduate on time, because standard CS ends when they turn 18 or graduate from high school...



tog redux's picture

BM here is a professor and SS still did poorly in school. She'd also insist she was working herself to the bone helping him, which was a total joke. She only made any effort in regard to school when there was a court date pending.

My SS did graduate on time, though with a lot of hand-holding from the alternative program he was in- in general, schools will push them through. They don't want to ruin their graduation rates.

strugglingSM's picture

SSs school system is not great by any measure, but they pride themselves on high graduation rates, so hopefully that will be enough to push them through. Someone might have to argue with the state on their behalf to get waivers for certain requirements (like demonstrating the ability to do college-level English and math), because looking at the current requirements, I don't think one SS will be able to meet them. 

The good thing for us is that there appears to be low college attendance at their high school, so maybe we won't have to worry about BM trying to force them into college to keep support payments coming her way. 

CLove's picture

Munchkin SD13 has insisted since last Friday that she has been doing the work. And then Saturday DH gets a call that she has not been "checking in". Im getting small fragments, but upshot is that there must be some communication breakdowns. Not being "the parent" I am not privy to the processes that schools are having the children go through. And obviously neither parent are actively involved. They just expect her to follow directions and get 'er done.

strugglingSM's picture

BM has never been big on making sure SSs do work. Instead, she goes to the school to raise a ruckus about how unfair it is to expect SSs to do "all" of the work. They both have IEPs, but in my experience working with them, they seem perfectly capable. Their biggest issue seems to be laziness. 

SSs have not really done homework since I've known them. I met them when they were in the 3rd grade. They both did homework for a time in 5th grade when DH and I called them daily on the phone to work on homework, but BM pitched a fit that DH was "disrupting" her time, so DH asked SSs about homework in 6th grade, but stopped after they would tell him they were doing all their work, even though they don't. 

Anytime DH says anything to either SS about making sure to do their work, he gets a series of nasty messages from BM telling him he is "too critical" and "making them feel bad". She also accuses him regularly of calling SSs "stupid". It's definitely an exercise in watching a mother hinder her own children. 

EveryoneLies's picture

That's a disaster in making.

It's also absolutely ridiculous that BM went to school to say it's "unfair" for the student to do "All the work." I mean, isn't her son's "occupation" student?


strugglingSM's picture

I agree...neither kid has to do anything they don't want to do and she goes into a full scale tizzy if she thinks they feel uncomfortable at all about anything. They have zero resilience. 

Thumper's picture

"BM claims she is exhausting herself"

Made me chuckle.

It will be interesting how she tries to wiggle out of this one.

Keep us posted, ok?



strugglingSM's picture

SSs school isn't giving grades out for the rest of the year, so she won't have to wiggle out of anything. Of course, both SSs will be drowning next year in all classes, but she'll probably just do what she's always done, go in and cry about how unfair it is for SSs to do work. This year, she went in and cried about how one SS had "OCD" because he was so worried about his grades. He even took anti-anxiety pills for maybe a month...that was enough to get the school to basically revise all of his grades to As, even though he didn't hand in all of his work. 

For some reason, their school district seems to give in a lot to her demands. I'm not sure why. The one who got everything revised this year actually did fine last year. He was doing all his work and earning mostly Bs, so not sure why BM didn't just give him encouragement and support instead of rushing in and demanding that the school accommodate him.