BM is no better at being a pet parent than she is at being a real parent
My DH has always been a dog person. His family loves a breed of hunting dogs. When he and BM divorced, the dog they had lived with him. DH’s living situation was precarious after getting divorced and he needed to find a place for the dog to live for several months. He begged BM to take in the dog. He even offered her $1000 to take the dog. BM refused. This dog had lived in her house months before and had lived with her and DH for four years before the divorce. One SS was devastated that the dog would have to go and begged BM to take him. She still refused.
So, imagine my surprise when this year, BM surprised both SSs with a dog of a similar breed to the dog she had with DH. These dogs are high maintenance. They need to go out and run several times a day or they get themselves into trouble. I suspect that BM got this dog because about six months prior DH started telling SS that we were going to get a dog and BM wanted to get one first.
I was also surprised that BM got the breed she did because neither she nor her DH are active people. One of the reasons DH and I have not gotten one of these dogs is because we have long commutes (to live closer to SSs), so aren’t home enough to run the dog several times a day and I’m not interested in paying lots of money for someone to walk my dog while I’m not home.
Today, we take SSs to the dog park (DH likes to go look at the dogs, since I haven’t yet agreed to get one of our own). One SS says something about their dog, so I say, “where do you take your dog out to run?” He says, “the backyard.” Their backyard is small - less than 200 square feet. Then this SS goes on to tell me that their dog has “hyperkinesis”, which is essentially dog ADHD. I said, “maybe she’s just bored.”
I suspect that this poor dog will end up medicated, even though her problem is not dog ADHD, but the fact that she gets minimal stimulation. Very similar to SS who is medicated because he had meltdowns after BL kicked DH out. The meltdowns have only gotten worse and he now switches medication at least twice a year, but god forbid BM try to figure out what else he might need or even think about how the support and lifestyle SSs are subject to with the divorce might be impacting them. Clearly any issues they have are due to factors outside of BM’s control...clearly in BM’s mind, at least.
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Comments
Unfortunate when an active
Unfortunate when an active breed doesn't get much activity. What breed is it? My sister knew we wanted lab and she bought my daughter one. I was thinking of an English labrador. Then this one was growing to look a bit different than what I expected. I'd gotten an American field lab. Luckily we are an active family but wow he just wants to go go all the time.
BM’s dog...
The dog BM got is a labmaraner, which is half lab, half Weimaraner. She was so proud of herself had it was a purebred dog. I felt bad for it as soon as she got it, because I knew it wouldn’t get enough activity and then it would be blamed for bad behavior.
DH likes German shorthair pointers. I told him that we didn’t have enough time for that dog right now and it would be abusive to get one if we couldn’t allow it to get the activity and exercise that it needs.
I couldn't begin to tell
How many pets the Girhippo Clan has gone through. The skids, in particular SD & YSS, are animal torturers and almost every pet they've had either has run or die prematurely under their "care."
Probably to be expected when the BM treats her own children like pets...feed them and put them in front of screens.
Nothing pis*es me off more
Nothing pis*es me off more then people getting a sporting/working dog and doign nothing with them. First off for BM, a Labramaner is NOT a purebred dog...it is a mixed breed. Seems she's into the disasterous designer dogs.
I have 2 Weims-we have a large fenced yard. We also take them everywhere with us. I did agiity/rally/obedience, we do hunt tests, hiking, free runs. They need it.
Unfortunately the size /force of these dogs can cause issues....as in I just broke my ankle in 3 places and had surgery Thursday! It wasn't entirely her fault but she contributed. I enjoyed every min of the 1.5hr play/hike time w/them before my life just changed in an instant. SO still takes them out every couple of days to run or play to get their energy out and leaves me w/my teen sons or my mom.
GSP's are amazing dogs too, very similar in personality/exuberance/stamina as Weims (labs are a little less energy) You are right, if you don't have the time for this high active breed and space it's unethical IMO to get one. I feel so bad for those dogs.
Designer dogs
BM always needs to feel special, so I’m sure having a trendy breed made her feel special. Not sure why she didn’t just get a lab.
DH used to do a lot of hunting and would take his GSPs along with him. Now he doesn’t hunt much. We will likely get a GSP at some point, but may have to move closer to our jobs in order to give us enough time to properly care for the dog. I’ve never owned a dog, so I suggested we get an easier breed first, but DH only wants a GSP, so we’ll just wait to get one.
My hope for BM’s dog is that BM does have a trainer come to the house and that trainer tells her that she’s abusing the dog by not taking it out. Of course, that won’t inspire BM to take the dog out, so she may just have to give it away, but really the dog needs more than she’s getting at BM’s house.
She's an idiot. Trendy breeds
She's an idiot. Trendy breeds are what destroy true breeds and bring in all kinds of health/temperament issues. I cannot STAND people purchasing/encouraging designer dogs. There are hundreds of fantastic breeds out there, there are also hundreds of fantastic 'oops' mixes...to purposely breed 'designer' dogs IMO is incredibly unethical and selfish. Right out of backyard breeder handbook. So she's an idiot.
As to the GSP- if your DH is used to this breed, it should be fine for you guys to own one, he can teach you the ropes sort of speak. I get it-once you have a heart breed it's hard to even care/want anything else. Personally I like a lot of dogs in the sporting category. We have thought of 3rd dog down the road, GSP, Irish Setter, Griffon, You are smart to wait until you have the right time/set-up for this kind of breed, THANK YOU for doing your homework and being so diligent.