BM demands money for college
SSs aren't even in high school, yet, but today, BM demanded money for college. It doesn't matter to her neither kid is college material. One has Ds in all of his core course, the other has As and Bs, but his grades are all "modified" due to BM's claim that he has OCD caused by grade anxiety. Both score at "below grade level" on the state math and reading assessments. One is well below grade-level.
She also told DH that he was a terrible father and both SSs (in eighth grade) "cried" because he didn't go to their basketball games, which were at 3:30pm in the afternoon on weekdays, but apparently, DH should take unpaid time off to see both SSs play on the "C" team (i.e. the team for kids who aren't good enough to make the middle school "varsity" or "junior varsity").
I think this is all because BM feels that DH has been ignoring her...poor baby BM needs attention. Her current marriage must be on the rocks or she must be financially in a bind. I'm so over this....
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If I were your H I'd ignore
If I were your H I'd ignore the comments about wanting money for SS's college and ONLY address what's important when it comes to the kids. Does he pay CS?
Don't entertain her and if she's treated accordingly eventually she'll get the hint.
He does pay CS...more than he
He does pay CS...more than he's required under our state formula.
He received a $60K inheritance from his grandmother over 10 years ago that he put into a college account for SSs, but BM raided it when she "needed money". This was when they were still married, so DH agreed to it.
I told him that if he didn't ignore her, we'd seriously have to spend some time apart, because I am so over her drama.
She also sent this message via email, not through OFW, which they are required to use.
So, she's already blown
So, she's already blown through their college money. Too bad for her.
She's feeling pretty
She's feeling pretty optimistic, isn't she?
Ignore.
Yes, one of them will
Yes, one of them will struggle to meet the high school graduation requirements in our state.
Ugh, reminds me of the crazy
Ugh, reminds me of the crazy BM we deal with. She is always telling DH what a bad dad he is and how she has to "protect" SD from him and how "crushed" SD is that he didn't attend xyz and that BM has to "advocate for SD" b/c DH doesn't make her a priority. *bad*
I'm cracking up with your description of the C team that the SSs are on....this is so my SD....BM is always involving her in sports that she isn't good at or has never played and then barking at DH about how awful he is for not driving hours away to see her 30 min or less contribution to a sport that she really isn't into.
DH periodically gets a little
DH periodically gets a little sad that his kids are so unathletic, but BM treats them like they are pro athletes.
One plays football. He plays defense - likely because he doesn't understand the game and it's easiest for the coach to tell him to stand in a line and then try to tackle someone. DH takes lots of videos at the games. I can always tell which one SS is because he is - without fail - always the last one in on any tackle, if he tackles at all. When the team runs onto the field at the beginning of the game - with one carrying their flag and the crowd cheering - SS is always bringing up the rear...slowly jogging in the back.
Ha, my DH always acts like SD
Ha, my DH always acts like SD will get better at sports but it hasn't happened yet or like she is really into whatever BM made her join. Hell I don't think that there has been any sport that she finished an entire season in without some sort of "injury" that prevented her from completing the season. BM def acts like SD is into these sports and they are "in SD's best interest" and will "help keep SD from gaining weight".
LMAO, that is great! If SD were a boy that would be her for sure! She hates running so she has her "sports induced asthma attacks" anytime she has to run!
Oh yes, BM also has football
Oh yes, BM also has football SS diagnosed with "exercise induced asthma"...no, BM, I think he's just out of shape.
Whoa, we have more in common
Whoa, we have more in common than I thought! LMAO! I honestly have never heard of any other person with "sports or exercise" induced asthma. Same here....SD is fat and lazy...she doesn't want to run or do anything but eat sugar and seek attention constantly.
Ignore. And if she doesn't
Ignore. And if she doesn't send them for holidays as agreed, stop the extra child support. College can be dealt with when they are older.
This woman just needs to be ignored 98% of the time.
College?
Community college probably.
Sounds like she can lie her way out of anything, even raiding the kiddos college fund. From what I have read, inheritances are NOT considered community property. So there might be something you can do with that. Feel kind of bad for the kiddos - their futures are in her hands and she is just money hungry without doing the actual parenting.
BM Toxic Troll likes to berate DH - calls him cold hearted b@stard, and effing a$$hole, etc. Tells him he is a horrible father. He just has to grey rock her during her rages.
Inheritances are not
Inheritances are not considered community property, but DH allowed her to raid the account when they were married. He probably believed her lies that she would pay it back.
I am sorry. It is stressful.
I am sorry. It is stressful. We went thru this too. It did not end up the way BM thought it would. Turns out she was playing the system then too. Not that she ever stopped playing the system. I will leave it at that.
How about this:
They could join the service and earn their education that way. PLUS get a pay check PLUS have medical insurance.
Please tell your dh not to hint anything that may be twisted into HE is paying for school. Silence is everything.
Laws can change until then. Its awful to think parents feel they have to pay for college. We had to take out student loans AND work while we were in school.
This generation is really beyond what our generation was. Some will go for broke into their golden years Its nuts.
I would completely understand if paying for the kids college after all the years of CS, would indeed be your last straw. (((HUGS)))))
I recently told DH that I
I recently told DH that I thought the best bet for both Skids would be to join the Navy. It would maybe help them learn how to be productive individuals, while also teaching them skills, and perhaps most importantly, force them to get away from BM.
SO has a 529 for each of the
SO has a 529 for each of the SSs but also a separate long term savings account for them. He is the only one who contributes. BM has access to the 529 but not the savings accounts. She comments regularly that it must be so nice to have the money to make deposits. Bish please, you could, too if you weren't the fiscal equivalent of a drunken raccoon.
She's keen on claiming skids on taxes leading up to graduation (instead of the ordered split) for FAFSA apparently not understanding that income over $80k is going to mean a pretty decent EFC that shrinks any need based aid.
I expect when she figures that one out she will try to come to the table on college costs since there is zero mention in the decree.
She likes to think that SO owes her for what he's done to her and that she's already fulfilled her contributions and obligations by way of literally giving birth. Always so excited to add to the nonsensical tally she's got running in her otherwise empty head.
They're all the same, aren't they?
I laughed out loud at the
I laughed out loud at the drunken raccoon comment. They are all the same. LOL!
My husbands exwife was like this
Hubby was sole income earner and she was supposed to be the housewife and did no housework and neglected the kids and daily shopping sprees and maxxed out the joint credit card taking her family who hated hubby because he wouldn’t give them money, on shopping sprees and 5 star holidays.
she needed to keep up the show and brag how upper class and refined she was when hubby was just a manager.
when he divorced her, she maxxed out their joint credit card that hubby didn’t cancel, then she was livid barely a month after she married her ex high school sweetheart with a basic low salary, to find out hubby was promoted and his income went up like 5 times his salary when married to her but hubby always lives a simple life and doesn’t overspend and most money is in savings.
hubby provided for university and she contributed nothing but daughters believe mummy contributes because money that comes solely from my husband and transferred to exwife for cs of sd14 that their mum gives a portion of that money...
so much drama and craziness. Ridiculous isn’t it that she blows through their college fund and makes their dad to be the bad guy.
no doubt she will claim to skids “you can’t go to university because daddy refused to give money for it!” When reality is she spent all that money but hubby never blocked it then and allowed the accounts to be raided