BIL Knows Best...and agrees with BM
If you read my previous blog, you know that BIL was in cahoots with BM during the whole drawn out mediation saga.
In response to that and to BM’s claiming she will not honor the mediation, DH sent a message to his sister, mother, and brother asking them to support him by not meddling with his ex wife. BIL replies and basically claims that he felt like he had to get involved because DH is not putting the best interests of his children first because he is not being “respectful” toward BM because he hates her. These words are practically coming from BM’s mouth. BIL then says that he thought he could help because he feels that DH is not doing the right thing. Why does BIL think that he knows what’s going on between BM and DH, he has only heard what BM has told him and it didn’t even occur to him to tell DH - his brother! - that BM called to ask for BIL’s help with the mediation.
DH’s family clearly thinks they know what’s going on and that they have a right to meddle. DH hates conflict and has a terrible memory, so he will essentially not challenge this view unless I demand that he do it. I’m not sure I can handle all of BM’s drama if DH’s family also insists on getting in on the act. Two years ago, MIL told DH that she and BM had a long talk and both decided that I am the problem because I won’t become friend’s with BM. This time BIL told DH that nearly all of BM’s conversation with him was about how I say negative things about her to the children. DH told BIL that was bullshit, that I never talk about her in front of the kids.
Prior to the email exchange, DH again asked BIL if Silent SIL was angry with him and again, BIL tried to gaslight by telling DH that it was all just a “misunderstanding”. Um, going up to DH and another person while they are talking and only speaking to the other person is not a misunderstanding, it’s clearly ignoring DH...and Silent SIL did that twice last Sunday.
DH thinks this is normal behavior...and I hope that I never will.