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Update to my friend's custody battle for her grandchild

stormabruin's picture

Update to this blog: http://steptalk.org/node/50071

The judge ruled to keep the children separated. The oldest granddaughter (12) will remain in the custody of my friend, & the youngest Diablo will remain in the custody of the killer's parents...2 hours away from her sister.

She said the judge ruled that way to keep a bond between the girls & their paternal grandparents. I don't understand why the bond with the paternal grandparents trumps the bond between sisters just after they've lost both of their parents.

I struggle to understand why many judges rule the way they do. It seems the "best interest of the child" always comes second to something else. It's truly heartbreaking.

Comments

Anon2009's picture

This is a crappy ruling and is one more example of why our family court system needs a complete overhaul.

My thoughts & prayers go out to your friend & her grandkids. I can't imagine what they're going through.

stormabruin's picture

I know that you can appeal a decision within 10 days. I don't know what her plans are. She's feeling lost & hopeless. She's feeling guilty, like she's let the girls down. She's feeling depressed & not sure where to even begin again. She's going to talk to her lawyer & find out what her options are.

At this time there is no visitation set up. She said as it is, to give the sisters time together the grandparents will meet somewhere...out to eat or something like that & they can spend a couple of hours together.

In my opinion, the sisters need one-on-one time to play & interact together without tthe idea that their time together is limited. They need to be able to feel companionship & they need to be able to feel that they have each other for support. If the other is only there for a couple of hours once every few weeks, they can't feel that.

I can't imagine where the ruling came from, except that the other grandparents are wealthy & Diana is not. She can provide for the kids, but doesn't have the social or financial standing that the other grandparents do. The grandfather is a political figure in the county they live in, & the grandmother works in a law office.

One Life Once Chance's picture

That's exactly what it is - I would appeal and request to have it reviewed in a different county. Due to both grandpa and grandma being involved heavily in the county with politics and law/courts, a fair decision in the best interest of the girls is clearly not being made.

Did they bring in any psychologists to assess what the damage would be by not keeping the siblings together after they just lost their parents? I don't know any court that would tear siblings apart if there is no grave danger of them being together. These girls need eachother.

I hope they don't quit fighting for them....someone has to.

stormabruin's picture

In the original custody agreement between the mom & dad, the 12-year old was with mom & the 6-year old was with dad. I'm not sure why it was set up that way, but there was an ugly custody battle going on before the murder, where mom was trying to get custody of both with dad having visitation.

lebooze's picture

Contact all the local Media broadcast what they are putting those poor babies through, that alone is child abuse! how could they even want to hurt those sisters more! How sad!!

Oi Vey's picture

Sad
Weren't the girls always living separately, though? One with dad, and one with mom?
I think the judge may have figured if the status quo was ok with the bioparents and the sister bond wasn't important to them, then he'd just let the status quo ride....

stormabruin's picture

They were always living separately...one with dad & one with mom. Dad killed mom, so they only have each other left. The sister bond IS important, & that's why mom was trying to get them together to begin with.

DaizyDuke's picture

Just playing devil's/judge's advocate here... did the 6 year old WANT to stay in the present home? I know it sucks that the girls are seperated, but it sounds like they were already seperated prior to the murder. Sometimes stability trumps everything when judges are making rulings about placements. It really may be in the best interst of the 6 year old to remain status quo for now given everything that she has been through. Just MHO

The whole thing is awful no matter how you look at it Sad