BM is painfully predictable
So, less than a week following DH putting BM in her place...
DH picked me up Wednesday evening after work & we were on our way home. He got a text on his phone. He looked at it & kind of pulled it back so he could see it better & finally handed it to me & said, "What the fuck is this crazy bitch sending me???"
It was a forward text from BM. The picture was one of a golden Jesus floating in the air with a crown of thorns on his head. The picture didn't move or change or anything, but there was 8 min of music on it (DH described it as "the sleepy music they play at the Chinese buffet"). I saw that there were 2 frames to it, so I forwarded through the music to get to the next frame & it was some kind of prayer thing...Jesus came to my house today & asked me what I needed. When he left me I sent him to see you...". Some kind of "I prayed for you today" thing.
He was like WTF??? I laughed & told him she was probably just forwarding it to a bunch of people in her contacts & maybe she sent it to him by mistake.
I read 2 messages SD had sent about Father's Day.
As soon as I set his phone back down another message buzzed through. He picked it up & it was a picture from BM of her & the kids at the beach. I assume it was from last year. The caption on it was "Didn't have one without me in it". I'm sure. Whatever.
Buzzing through right behind that one was another text of a picture I guess she got online of someone making a heart shape with their hands...you know, like all the teenage girls do in their pictures? The caption on that one was "From the three of us 2 u DH".
So, clearly, the prayer from Jesus wasn't in error.
Turns out her mom posted the pics she'd taken at SS's graduation. She posted one of me & DH with SS & she posted the one she took of DH, SS, SD, & BM together.
Do you know, out of the load of pictures SD posted from that night of BM with the kids, BM with SS, SD with SS, SS with his framed certificate...I think it was like 38 pictures...the ONLY one BM has re-posted on her FB page is the one of her & DH with the kids. The caption on it is "My original family. Well still except the ex. LMAO!!!!!!"
I have to believe that picture sent her reeling through nostalgia & all the way back down memory lane. This is what they could've been had it not been for me. *puke*
We laughed about the text messages, but when I saw that of all the pics she had access to, that was the only one she re-posted it pissed me off.
I mentioned it to DH but didn't tell him I was pissed about it. I know it isn't his fault her brain is fucked. I was half-tempted to reply to the heart text with one of our wedding pics. LOL! I didn't suggest that out loud either. I just entertained myself with the thought.
I have to remind myself, she's like a animal in the zoo. Don't feed the crazy.
The next morning I noticed that both kids have commented on that pic. The one good thing about it is that SD had her eyes shut. That kept it from being ideal. SS LOL'd at her eyes being closed & SD commented about how she ruined their "family" pic by having her eyes closed.
That's my little ray of sunshine in it all. It's the only picture they have of the 4 of them together since BM walked away & it's flawed.
I also have to say I'm irked with the pic of me & DH with SS. It's the only picture I was in & it reeks of ugly. Having been in the humidity for 2 hours between SS's pics & the ceremony my hair was shot by the time mine was taken after the ceremony. My sweater was frumped up & made my gut look even fatter than it is. I'm just not photogenic anyway, but for this to be the ONE picture I have ever had with one of the kids...it's disheartening, & then to have it posted right alongside the one of "the family".
A co-worker suggested that I have a heart-to-heart with BM & tell her that the texts are inappropriate & need to stop.
Right...that would do it.
All it would do is let her know she's under my skin. She wouldn't stop because she'd be getting the reaction she wants. If anything, she'd do it more because she'd know it was pissing me off.
I know when it comes to feeling resolve & peace as a person, DH has that with me. We have a great relationship & a happy marriage, but she has his kids. I know that he chose me & I know that if he had it to do again he would still choose me. But at the same time, I know that I can't provide him the whole happy package anymore than she can. I'm whole, as a person. She's not. But she has his family & I don't. I guess that's what triggered the irritation with me. She's pathetic because she COULD offer the whole package if she wasn't such a bitch. I don't even have the "whole package" option.
I'm hoping the picture will just get pushed down her page & lost in the history.
So...we sleep. I woke up yesterday still irked. I had a crappy day at work & DH picked me up again. We got home and...
We found out what triggered the texts from BM. A deputy showed up at the house just after we got home yesterday to serve DH civil papers. She's taking him back for an increase in support.
Oddly, DH called it when the texts came through the evening before. He was halfway joking with it but he said, "She must be getting ready to take me back to court again. The only time she's nice to me is when she's getting ready to fuck me". It seems he has her pegged.
His current order is based on his unemployment. He's ordered to pay $43.68/week. He's been paying $45/wk figuring maybe she'll see the volunteerism & be nice.
He's working with the same guy she filed on him for last time. The guy that laid him off 3 days after the payroll deduction order came through that he TOLD BM & the judge the guy would drop him over. So he lost his job & the support decreased.
She fucked herself.
Anyway, the court date isn't until Sept 28th, so I told him from here on she'll get nothing more than the ordered amount. If SD needs money for anything extra she'll have to sponge it off out of the support or go without.
According to SS, the last time BM worked was sometime last year. She was a caregiver for some old guy that died. She doesn't get unemployment but still gets foodstamps. Her live-in pays the rent, the cell phones, the house phone & the electric bill & he buys their cigarettes by the carton & he pays when they go out to eat. The only thing BM has to pay for is the gas in her car.
Anyway, the support will go back up to $81-something/wk & being that DH gets paid every 2 weeks at this job he'll request the order be made to pay every 2 weeks. For the sake of being able to keep his job, he'll remind the judge that the last time they pushed the payroll deduction he ended up without one, & hopefully the judge will keep it where he can just send a money order the way we have been.
And he'll be sure to let BM know, before court, that if she pushes the payroll deduction & he loses his job again he'll be at the court house the very next day filing for another change to reflect the unemployment.
She's such a dumb bitch.
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Yep. You know...I have all
Yep. You know...I have all of hers & DH's old pics. Be certain, there are a number of less-than-flattering pics of her in that collection. I'd be half-tempted to scan them & post them on my page & tag her in all of them. As quick as she could untag them, I'd tag them again.
Of course, then again rolls "Don't feed the crazy" through my head.
"I know that I can't provide
"I know that I can't provide him the whole happy package"
"But she has his family & I don't"
YOU are the whole happy package and you are his family. Don't ever forget that.
Thank you I feel I'm as
I feel I'm as much of the whole package as I can be. I really do know that I offer everything he needs & expects & wants from me. I also know that he doesn't hold it against me that I can't provide him with children of our own (being HE's the one who got snipped). It's something in my head alone, that's frustrating & that I need to figure out how to deal with. It's just one of those things. There's no fix to it. I just need to figure out how to get over it.
You just need to change your
You just need to change your definition of family.
I don't have kids with my husband (or anyone) but I certainly think of us as a family.
Also, I know that my husband is with me because he loves me and does for me because he wants to. I did not need to have his kid to make him happy. We have been together a lot longer than he and his ex-wife, even though she did have his child. And he is A LOT happier with me!
I think the holding hands &
I think the holding hands & being close may be what triggered this. We were all at SS's graduation & she saw him with his arm around me during the ceremony. She saw us holding hands, & then at the reception thing when we finished eating & he took my empty plate & offered to get me another drink the sarcasm about it started & he threw it right back. That was on a Thursday night & she filed for court Monday.
She's made it clear that he is "the love of her life" & that I stole him from her. She's made an ass of herself several times in trying to make that point.
>>>>>>>>>fuckery is afoot. My
>>>>>>>>>fuckery is afoot.
My official new FAVORITE phrase.
careful everyone... Fuckery is afoot.
Fuckery is afoot...LMFAO!
Fuckery is afoot...LMFAO! That's awesome!!!