You are here

Every time DH says "Adulting" in context to SS I'm going to...

still learning's picture

...take a drink!  

Tonight DH informed me that ss33 (he's actually older, but due to privacy we'll just keep him at 33) and his gf broke up, he's moving out of their apt and back in with BM.  DH told me that ss mentioned that he was "thinking about" quitting his pot smoking partying lifestyle.  DH took that as a sign that ss is finally "Adulting."  Really DH, the man child has been an "adult" for well over 15 years now and is just now thinking about quitting acting like an unruly teenager??? And what adult man who is a bastion of maturity moves back in with mommy anytime he has some trouble. He's moved in and out of his mom's and aunt's home several times during the time I've known him.  

Apparently ss has been having issues showing up regulary for his yet another new job. How long this one will last who knows. Mommy is there now to help him along until he's "back on his feet"...again. I'm sure i'll continue to hear all about ss's "progress", how well he's "adulting" and he'll probally have another job soon. Seems to happen every few months.  

So everytime I hear DH say, ss is "adulting", "mature", "doing so well in his NEW job,"  "it's a better fit for him" I'm going to do a shot! This grown man who can't keep a woman or a job, smoking pot everyday, living with mama is constantly being praised for his maturity.  I am going to be soooo drunk! 

What are some phrases your DH/SO says about skids that you'll take a shot to?  



The_Upgrade's picture

Every time DH can get SD to meet up with him. Comes out of it all enthusiastic that their parasitic relationship will "change". In reality it's just SD just keeping the bait on the hook to keep DH on the line. Things will never change and SD will be back to old tricks again before the week is out. I feel like throwing the shotglass away and guzzling straight from the bottle every time DH tells me he caught up with SD and things are looking up. 

still learning's picture

The fact that his relationship with his daughter consists of "meetings" and likely cash transactions is definitely great for her.  As long as DH will pay she will play along. I feel your angst, it's frustrating to watch. Pass the bottle...

shamds's picture

whatsoever and hasn’t adulted. If he were a good worker, he’d get a great job. But shitty workers get the leftovers. “Beggars can’t be choosers!!”

its easy to blame the job as not being a right fit but alot of people don’t have their dream job but they have responsibilities and bills to pay so they suck it up!!

my husband claims ss has matured, all i say is “really? How?? Because he is stilly getting a monthly allowance from you, is not financially independent, hs no intentions of moving out of our marital home and doesn’t clean up after himself or do any chores but tells you thats my job asa a stay at home housewife!!”

”skids hd it rough being cod so they have the same mental issues as bio mum so thats why they have no manners or respect and do not respect your privacy or boundaries and treat you badly” - nope hubby its more you refused to parent them!!

”sd23 will be on her own financially next yr i promise and i have told her that since she has a fulltime job already so I won’t continue the $1000 per month allowance to her”

a year goes by sd now 24 finds out we are buying a house reminds daddy to continue the child support payment of $1000 as she really needs it as she looks after her sister (which hubby already pays cs to bio mum), sd now reminds hubby he must continue the allowance indefinitely until she has a permanent position as she is on contract and it’ll be another 2 yrs but she is sure she will get a permanent position... 

i read her contract, very rarely do they hire people on contract into permanent positions, they just do that so people think they will get permanent positions only to have contract end. 

So when contract ends feb 2022, she will remind hubby he needs to continue paying her money even when he has retired then whilst she is a 27 yr old... 

hubby assured me money was continuing till end of this yr and ss was going to be cut off 3 months ago... i have been so busy overseas finishing my university studies, renovating our new home and raising our 2 kids aged 4.5 & 3... I haven’t checked in but these ungrateful and such shameful skidults are so pathetic. I am working my arse off whilst they leech off others!!

my favourite one:

Hubby: ”they have changed and apologized so why not give them a chance??”

Me: “they haven’t apologized to me, nothing has changed!! Explain to me what has changed about their behaviour and attitude because its still the same? (Hubby in complete silence now), i tell hubby they are all talk no action and i go based on the facts and the actions they do which is nothing so your precious feral kids are so full of shit!!

lucky my husband is very direct and straight to the point. I don’t sugarcoat things so he get the harsh truth!!

still learning's picture

SS has matured!

BWAHAHAHAHA! I mean really, if you have to argue the fact.  Yeah, my DH has said this several times about ss33 too. The fact is no, he hasn't and probably never will. He's just getting older and more stupid with all the brain cells he's killed.  

”they have changed and apologized so why not give them a chance??”

Give them a chance to what? Walk all over you again, take advange, disrespect you?  Skids have a mommy and a daddy, no need for SM to be their doormat.  


shamds's picture

i told hubby we have 2 young kids and his ferals play wih heir feelings like yo-yos

hubby wants 1 big happy family, i said it cannot happen with his 3 ferals!! My kids should not be subjected to a fake relationship with half siblings only for them to continually toy with their emotions and abandon them!!! Its my job to protect them and pur kids can freely have a relationship with ils who genuinely love spending time with them, half siblings do not make an effort so i do not go above and beyond to create or maintain a relationship 

i have told hubby that he has put ad’s in alpha female position with me!! Because he is treating them like a wife!! I hope eldest sd marries soon because she will truly be cut off. Just wait for her to demand daddy gives tens of thousands of dollars for her grand wedding... my only response will be are you giving the same to our 2 young kids??

between our 2 kids needing specialist appointments for speech therapy or sd grand wedding, the wedding aint a priority.... no doubt its a wedding hubby will be expected to mainly pay for bbut bio mum and stepdad placed on a pedestal!!

Kes's picture

DH says about SD25 - "She's a complicated person" - it drives me up the wall when he says this.  She's demanding, immature, self sabotaging, aggressive and failing to launch.

I think men are prone to denial, sorry I know that's a generalisation, but I find it to be so in a lot of cases.  My own brother does it about his kids who are 46, 44 and 42.  The eldest one is a coke addict without a job, the youngest's marriage is falling to pieces and they all have very significant issues.  But to hear my brother you wouldn't know it.  I get the real story from my best friend, their mother, who is my brother's ex wife. 

still learning's picture

"She's a complicated person" 

Sounds like she's pretty simple and just needs to grow up! DH says that people think ss is an @$$hole, but that he's really just outspoken.  No DH, I think most people are pretty spot on about ss.  Yep DH is completely in denial.  He puffs ss up but I know he's really embarassed by him.  

tog redux's picture

I hate the expression "adulting", I'm glad it's died down. To me, it just shows how badly kids have been coddled in the last couple of generations.  We looked forward to being adults, it meant freedom - now it means the poor widdle babies have to take responsibility for themselves.  Sure, there were outliers in my generation who lived with Mom until they were 50, but they didn't talk proudly about their fear of growing up and ending dependency on parents - and they didn't make a freaking verb out of just acting your age.  Now they act like it's some cute thing to be immature and unable to function on your own.

How do you bite your tongue when DH says that stuff?

still learning's picture

How do you bite your tongue when DH says that stuff?

I've become an alcoholic ;)  

beebeel's picture

That sounds exactly like my dad, singing my estranged brother's praises because he's "been at the same job for two months now!" Or he's "really been helping out around the house a lot." Ok? He's 45 freaking years old, living in your basement, and chronically unemployed. I'm not impressed, dad.

still learning's picture

That is the most annoying thing to see your parents enable your sibling.  Mabye if dad didn't enable him he'd be forced to keep a steady job and live in the real world.  My mom is constantly telling me how my brother is "getting his life together" after another episode of prison, jail, or drug relapse.  I love my brother and wish hope he does get his life together, but I see him through different eyes than a parent would.  

still learning's picture

58, WOW!  I hope all the stepparents who are counting down the days until skid turns 18 are reading this!!!

Iamwoman's picture

Haha nice!

I could take a shot of rum every time I hear DH say "OSS15 would not be psycho if Maggot had not brainwashed him."

OSS15 is psycho and always has been. Maggot's brainwashing just gives OSS15 an agenda.

advice.only2's picture

Spawn doesn't lie to me *Shot*
Spawn really has changed *Shot*
Spawn didn't ask me for money or a job, but she asked me to help her look for jobs online and told me about her two broken down cars and how she doesn't know how to pay for them *Shot*
Spawn doesn't really talk to Meth Mouth much anymore *Shot*

still learning's picture

I don't lie or talk to Meth Mouth much anymore. I've changed, help me fix my broke down cars in the trailer park... This would be a great country song LOL.  

MissK03's picture

Your SS is my age or maybe a few years older and I could not even imagine living like that. 

I do know people (not many) but some that are my age still living home. They absolutely have the means to live on their own but, chose not too. It blows my mind why you would want to be either still living at home or bouncing back and forth at this age. 

still learning's picture

While DH and I were talking last night I told him that I was initially okay with ss staying with us (several years ago) when he lost his job and needed a place to say. DH talked up how much ss would help with the yard and his side business and really earn his keep.  I was all for helping family and getting help in return. How silly I was. SS had no intention of lifting one finger.  He'd pass out in the living room expecting us to tip toe around him, boss me around, tell me what to buy for him when I went shopping, complain, tell me to organize my home the way BM organized hers. It was quite ridiculous and lasted months longer than it should have. The whole time not one minute spent job searching.  My point is that I'm not against family helping each other out, there are times when people legitimately need help. In ss's case he just keeps dropping out of life and expecting others to pick up the pieces for him, and so far they have.  

still learning's picture

Honestly I barely drink. The last shot I did was Apple Cider Vinegar.  But I swear, if I hear "Adulting" one more freaking time...

Harry's picture

He trying to make his loser, DS, look good .  Guest it make DH feel better that his kid is adulting.   Maybe in another 30 years he will finally get there 

Cover1W's picture

"I don't know."

Did you know YSD isn't brushing her teeth in the mornings DH? "I don't know."

DH, who left face prints on the front window AGAIN?  Can you clean it up NOW? "I don't know."

YSD is still 'sliding' down the stairs at age 14.5! "I don't know."

and so on. It's exhausting. So I try not to say anything most of the time, but sometimes....

Winterglow's picture

(Testily, arms folded, tapping foot) "OK, Einstein, so what DO you know? "

thinkthrice's picture

"they (ferals) were good" after every hellacious visitation

"they're good kids"