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SD20 brags on facebook about failing only one class this semester

Still Have Hope's picture

SD20 took only the minimum courses (4) this semester. Failed math course. Got c's other 3 courses. She doesn't work at all. Never had a paying job ever. And she brags about failing only one course on her facebook page. All her life BM has lowered the bar so her poor Child of Divorce would feel no pressure to succeed. This is what BM's parenting gets us - an immature failure who thinks she is doing great at college. This is my stepdaughter who says "I may be 20 years old but I am 5 inside."
For 16 years DH and I were told by BM and BM's family that we expected too much from fragile little SD. Things like using manners, being considerate of others, passing grades, doing chores and saving money were beyond her capabilities. And at 20 years old they still are. We have committed a certain amount to SD's education. Once that is spent she is on her own and with her grades she will never get a degree in the allotted time or budget.

Comments

Dawn-Moderator's picture

This is what I fear will happen to my Ss. He's 17, has a car and no part time job. The only time he even puts in applications is when mean old Sm gets on her high horse.

He's a senior in high school and this semester's grades are very important. They have been slipping. Dh seems to be not worried as much as I am. He really is only worried when I point things out to him.

Ss has lived with us mostly for years. Bm has been unemployed for two years, spent Ss's college money on herself and is just over all sloppy and lazy.

My biggest fear is that it's nature and not nurture and Ss will turn into Bm no matter what I do.

Hanny's picture

This sounds like my SO's daughtes. They are 23 and 18, but they do not want to grow up. I've never seen a kid that hates birthdays..they still want to be 10 and taken care of. The 18 year old is in her first year of college, we'll see how her grades are after first semester. My SO told her she must keep a B average. She is taking the minimum classes to be allowed to be considered full time student and live on campus. Her dorm alone is $1,800 per month. It will be interesting to see her grades because BM text SO the other day about how stressed SD is with all going on in the world. She's been telling her dad all along that she's having no issues with her classes. His comment to me was 'sounds like a set up' in case she doesn't pass her finals or gets below B. He says he's only paying for this year then she is on her own for student loans. I hope he sticks to it. She too has never had a job in her life. Bm said Sd is trying to 'figure out life'....I said, 'we all are'.

Anon2009's picture

This won't solve the problem in its entirety, but maybe it'll help. Don't look at her FB. And if you aren't FB friends with her, but your DH is? Keep on scrolling by the stuff you see pertaining to her somehow.