It is okay to say no. It would be STUPID not to say no.

It is absolutely okay to say no. If you don't you will regret it. They will never leave. They have other options, even if they aren't options they Want.

They're adults, they need to deal with their own crap now.

Tell them no. Explain you *are* sympathetic to they current situation, but are in no circumstance to take in 3 additional people. Offer to assist them with arranging for the adoption of the baby.

Of course, I have no expectation that they will actually go along with such a plan, but I do think it would be enough to wake them up to the fact that they are adults and need to get a job (the pregger gf will probably not be hirable) and handle their business.

This adult ss has been staying somewhere else prior to the girlfriend getting pregnant so let him remain there. The girlfriend was living elsewhere let her remain there. She has parents, they are not married and possibly may never get married. It is only your problem if you allow it to be. Don't agree to take on the job. And it will feel like a job cleaning up after them,giving up living space,and losing sleep with all their drama and a newborn crying at night. The baby will not even be a part of your life when they split up.

You also have 2 of your own children in the home. Is this an example you want set for them.

^^^^^This^^^^^.

One of our neighbors has ALL of her adult children, and three grandchildren, along with two extra dogs, living with her currently. One of the adult children took off with a new boyfriend, on a cruise, left her dogs with mom and upon being asked when she was coming back the girl said that the ticket was only a one way and she needed money to get home again. This poor woman is so depressed, there's nothing I can do about it, except listen and sympathize, as she tells me the same story...three times...because these kids are driving her out of her mind. The lady is only 65 years old!

It is perfectly within your right to say no. It's your house. If neither of them have a job, they won't be able to contribute financially. If they get jobs, you'll likely become their built-in child care system. No matter what they're primed to take advantage of your hospitality.

My mom let my sister and her husband move into her house shortly before marriage when my sister was pregnant. Neither one of them had a job (husband had to quit his well-paid mechanic job on Long Island to move to NJ with my sister and it took him six months to find a new job that was "acceptable"), they both had suspended licenses, they have screwed my mom over on chipping in with the house bills and rent SO MANY times, and, they use her like built-in child care yet my sister gets mad at her when she's not capable of taking care of the kids "properly" because my mom is suffering from some intensely complicated grief on the outset of the deaths of both of her parents this past year.

And they moved in "temporarily" 8 years ago. They still live there. They now have five kids (BIL's son from another woman, and four girls), two dogs, three cats and are overpowering my mom all the time. But, there's nothing she can do about it now. She's stuck. And much like giveitago described with her neighbor, they're driving my mom batty and she's losing her mind at the age of 62.

So, you are well within your rights to say NO if you don't want them taking advantage one way or another. Because, honestly, you have enough going on right now that you don't need the added burden of more mouths to feed and more responsibility heaped onto you.

I'm confused. Why does SS want the GF to move in with him if they are not going to be together and she is going to take the baby and run?

You can absolutely say no.

I found this site because I was feeling slightly guilty about saying no very quickly and very loudly when my husband told me his daughter asked him if she, her husband, and their 2 small children could "stay" with us. It was supposed to be for a couple of weeks and 6 months later they are still not in a place of their own (they are staying at her FIL's).

My husband was unemployed at the time (and so were they) and he told her he did not feel it would be fair for me to be supporting everyone. The truth is, I don't want them here period, for many reasons.

My husband and I agreed when we first got together that nobody could live with us. It is very stressful to have other adults living in your home and it sounds like you have enough to deal with.

What does race have to do with anything?

It sounds like she's the type of woman who thinks being pregnant is a handicap that requires people to serve them for 9 months.

Yes, babies ruin lives every day. I'm gonna go ahead and say that they're going to need to figure something out for themselves since they want to be grown enough to have unprotected sex and decide to keep the baby, so they can be grown enough to figure out what they're going to do about it. Kids are leeches, if you give an inch, they'll take 10 miles (or, at least, MY skids would). Especially if you're possibly going to be the only breadwinner...neither of those kids are yours, you don't really have any obligation to them per se. I'm paying attention to the answers here because I'm about 90% sure that SS11 will end up in this situation in about 5-7 years since he can't control himself at all and will definitely not use condoms when he starts having sex. Pretty sure there will be more than one baby from at least 2 baby-mamas at the same time too, if not more.

Thank God he has some pride. An able bodied 19, year old should be working not collecting foodstamps.

This past summer, DH's older son (20), who has never worked a day in his life, got his 17 year old gf pregnant. He has been with her for 18 months, since she was 16. She is a junior in high school, he graduated in 2010. As soon as he found out she was pregnant, he texted DH whining and saying that DH HAD to help him. At first, he wanted DH to get him a job with DH, which is never going to happen for many reasons (there is no work there in the first place).

Then, he just said, "I am not going to work." He started typing LOL LOL LOL when DH asked him if knew how much babies cost. He was hinting for us to let him move in here. That is never going to happen, for many reasons ( Not only that, the gf's mother had allowed him to live with her and share her daughter's bed. So, my feeling was SHE could take care of it. DH's son could not understand why we would not send money or let him come here.

I think that God intervened, because the gf miscarried a couple of weeks later. There is no way these 2 were ready for a baby, when they cannot take care of themselves. The gf stated she did not want a kid, and DH's son just kept laughing. DH got upset, and kept telling him he had to get a job. More LOL LOL. It was disgusting. The gf's mom kicked him out, but he is still seeing her, so this will happen again.

The expectation, however, is that mommy and daddy will save the day. Your SS has no idea what his life will be like with a child. DO NOT back down. If they move in, you are going to be miserable. You have your own kids to take care of, and your own life. This will be a mess. You will become angry and resentful, and your health will be affected. Their intention is to mooch, and you will hate seeing that and watching a baby come into the mix.

My worthless SS was about 23 when he got his 30 year old crack ho GF pregnant. I refused to even acknowledge it. DH was worried about who was going to take care of the kid.

GF had already had TWO children removed from her care. I assured him that DHS would never let her leave the hospital with a baby.