Left Upset with DH
I left for work upset with DH for being upset that I asked if SS18 had paid his phone bill yet. Every time I ask (and I know I need to stop asking), DH says "I need to remind SS" and today it was, "I'll get the money fom him" like it's a job he needs to do for SS. It's due on the 1st, and what is today?
I looked in SS's old room after he came over yesterday - not only did he not do any cleaning, he didn't even fully handle the pile of dirty laundry. The drawers are full of clothes, clothes still hanging in closet, ALL stuff still where it was. And I heard DH tell SS to leave some stuff here, like he's moving back in & the room will be waiting.
Two days ago, talking about something else, DH explained how he likes to understand all the rules so he can figure out workarounds. I immediately thought SS didn't get ALL his deviant ways from BM. Filed that thought until this morning. I told DH I resented having to watch SS live here & tell stories that DH believes in the face of evidence, and I resent SS continuing to do this even after he's been kicked out & doesn't even live here anymore. I asked DH how he could be encouraging SS that he's coming back to live with us when SS still hasn't even BEGUN to act like someone who gets to live here (= someone who pays their bills, cleans up after themselves, etc.). DH tried to say I was being harsh just for one little tiny thing SS "forgot" (phone bill) and I quickly replied with a list (Didn't clean his room yesterday after weeks of promising DH he'd come do it at the top of my list) so that got shut down. DH said something about how I'm not getting any better & SS's been gone "a month," but I advised it's been 3 weeks and SS's stuff is still not gone and he's blowing off paying his phone bill, so he's not even out yet; but he's also heing told he can move back in?! (DH assumes SS will be insured, driving, enrolled in & attending CC Spring 2019).
I told DH he's going to need to stand there and instruct SS every step of the way to get that room clean, or it'll never get done. We'll see if he gets that done; I am burning out on DH based on him telling ME I'm not getting better. I love this man but am taking steps to protect myself from being financially vulnerable. I am seeing my DH in a different light since he blew up at me before kicking SS out. It's sad but I have to stop letting skid & DH issues hurt me. Between them & my job, I am overwhelmed right now. I worked a lot over the weekend so even though it's Monday morning, I'm already burnt out.