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Sd here for the week -- so far so good-- but talking in 3rd person to me. UGH.

stepsoftly's picture

So SD8 arrived yesterday and so far, so good.

We have new puppies and she has been super responsible about helping with them, cleaning up messes and walking, feeding, even helping them learn training commands. FDH & I both have been thrilled with how she has stepped up -- And it's rubbing off on other things too; she got her own breakfast and cleaned up after herself after eating, putting dishes in sink and rinsing them. (I know, some of you want to kill me and take my life right now... lol!)

But she got a serious talking to last night because in the car, she was talking about her friend's weight, didn't say anything mean or anything, then changed topic to something about her mom (I don't recall what, I hear BM's name and it all turns to wah-wah-wah-wah like the teacher in Peanuts). Next thing out of her mouth after a short lull in the talking: "Stepsoftly is chunky!" As in, my weight, which is probably accurate, but not all that nice to hear. I said "WHAT??!" and her dad began to scold her. He told her never to comment on anyone's weight like that again, including her friends and family, and in fact he didn't want to hear any negative comments on anyone's physical appearance. She apologized to me and I accepted her apology. So, all was pretty well. Although FDH did mandate that she give me a real apology with a hug and kiss when we got home, which never happened, but I didn't push it.

The other thing she comes back from her mom's doing that super annoys me is that she refers to me in the 3rd person. Like, we were in the kitchen, where a drawing I did at her request last week was sitting. She says to me "That's a pretty good drawing for stepsoftly." (Tangent... she thinks she is a better artist than I am, which may be true but doesn't mean I can't draw decently enough) I said, "I'm right here, you should say "you" when you are talking to a person who is right in front of you, not their name, it's rude." She looked at me like I was speaking a different language and shrugged and said "I don't know." Huh, ok, I didn't ask you a question, I was telling you that is the case. But whatever.

At least now I've said something about it that I can remind her of. She has done it for two years now and I never mentioned it before, thinking surely a teacher or parent would correct it. Now I will be breaking her of the habit. It's just unnecessarily rude and she doesn't seem to think it is, or else doesn't care that it is. Any child development/psychology/language folks here who can tell me why she does this and what a logical way to correct it is??

OK hope you all have good weeks, s-kids or not!

Comments

sweetthing's picture

Once, right after I had given birth, Dh had used the saying that it's not over till the fat lady signs, SS who was 9ish at the time turned to me & asked if I was going to sing. I could have moped the fing floor with him. They spent my entire maternity leave at home with me rather than ycare ( which they loved doing) I was 39, just had a c section & had their bipolar a$$hole father have a breakdown on me & he says that shit to me.

The funny thing is I have always loved the kids & them me, so this really hurt.

stepsoftly's picture

Yeah -- SD & I are usually close, and it seemed to come from nowhere -- Obviously it was related to her earlier thought but it was hurtful. I guess sometimes they dont know what they are saying.

stepsoftly's picture

StepAside, that's awful -- I know why you didn't address it, it seems just ridiculous to have to tell children how to speak respectfully to an adult -- It's not your job, it's their parents' job to teach them. But I am sorry to hear they took it to that level, how horrible.

I plan to do exactly as you say and keep on her about it -- If I don't she will just think it is OK to act like I am not standing there. I think this is one of those SP things... FDH does not notice that she even does this, because he is just not that in tune with "how" she says things. He listens to her but doesn't get the undertones or things that are slightly off... I suppose either because I am the step, or that I am the woman, I notice. Smile