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SteppingUp's Blog

BM is so much more important than her children. I am so sick of this!

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I really need to start blogging here again more often! I've realized it was such a good way not only to vent, but also to keep record of the crazy crap that BM does. We're trying to keep documentation but that gets so hard to keep up with at times. I've just got a few things to vent about today! They prove - for the zillionth time - that to BM, she is more important than her kids.

Moving from a stipulation to a 50/50 agreement? Anyone done this?

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Hi everyone!! Wow – It has been a long time since I’ve posted here, and I see a lot of new "faces" Smile I’ve been so busy at both work and at home, it's almost impossible for me to even post much less read everyone else's stuff....so I apologize that lately I only come for advice and don't offer any. Sad

Wish us luck! Going to see a lawyer today to find out if it will be worth the fight/money to go for full custody.

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A lot of big things have happened in the past two weeks. BM’s recently “broken” cell phone fell into our possession and nothing has been deleted. To the professionals we’ve spoken with in the past week about it, they all say that it is fair game as she knowingly gave the phone to her kids, and knew they were taking it to our house – whether or not she thought the phone was broken and wouldn’t turn on, she had made no effort to delete information in her phone while she had it (Which included sexted photos) and there was no lock code.

Please tell me this information would be important to a judge!!!!

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We've collected a lot of documentation over the past few years, mostly examples of how BM puts herself first, above everyone including her children. All seem to be little things that are explained away by excuses. But together, it's a TON of info. Not to mention, for the past year we've kept track on a calendar all the nights we have the skids and all the nights we know they go to her mom's. She doesn't have her children even 40% of the time. Yet she has "full" custody and DH's is called "extended visitation".

BM gave SD6 her old phone to play with..stocked full of sexts and pictures.

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There have been times where DH and I joke that it'd be really interesting (for our own curiosity, not necessarily any good reason) to see what goes on in BM's phone. We know she has over 12,000 texts going in and out each month on her phone bill.

BM got a new phone last week. She gave her broken version to SD6...

When we picked SD and SS up yesterday, the first thing SD6 did was to show us "her" phone that mommy gave her. We didn't think much of it at first because she made a point to say it is broken and doesn't turn on, that it's just a play phone.

DH and BM finally agree to take SS to see a child psychologist.

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I haven’t been on here much lately because I’m so busy these days at work. But today I had to take a minute out to vent and get advice on our situation with my SS4. Since I’ve known him, I’ve thought he was “off”. I’ve blogged here before about it…but of course coming from a stepparent/outsider it just looks like I’m being overly critical of someone else’s kid. 1.5 years ago I finally convinced DH to get his hearing tested – it was fine. But the issue has been and still remains the same: he doesn’t seem to comprehend simple directions or conversation.

O/T: How to burn the bridge between me and this woman?

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This is not step-related so I apologize, but I need some un-biased/uninvolved advice. When I first moved here, I of course met my husband’s best friend (really more like a brother-type) and his girlfriend – I’ll call them B and H. H is kind of a brash, loud, energetic girl who likes to tell dirty jokes. She and I didn’t necessarily hit it off at first, but I was desperate for a friend since I had come to live in a new place with DH, and it was easy for the four of us to hang out and do things together, especially because her daughter and SS are the same ages.

Tension/Atmosphere differences in households and kid's reactions to it....interesting!

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This weekend we went to DH's mom's house. She's slightly neurotic, she's very tense and flutters to and fro doing this and that. It's a constant nervous energy. I like her, the kids love her, but you know...it's just this energy that makes you kind of uncomfortable and you can't put your finger on it. My BS (10 months) was super whiny there. He only wanted me to hold him, he didn't really want to play. I chalked it up to him having a cold. SS4 was kind of goofy and attention-seeking too.

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