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My own EX (the DeadBeat) and possible payment of Arrearages.....Finally!!!

steppie1999's picture

My exH is a typical deadbeat dads!
At this moment he is nearly $20,000 behind in child support!!! He hasn't been caught up in over 10 years and the number has only gotten higher and higher.
He doesn't work much and when he does it's usually for cash so that it's not recorded.
Years ago he could have gotten the original amount reduced...I told him to do it (it's better than getting behind)...my lawyer told him to do it...Hell, the judge even told him once to file the paperwork to get it reduced...but he's too lazy!! Well, that's HIS problem that he's this far behind.

Back to my story:
Several years back, I got tired of running back and forth to court and having him quit his job shortly after each new order from the judge...so I turned it over to the State Child Enforcement Office. Not much has happened until now because....
About a month ago, one of my friends told me she saw in the newspaper that ExH sold a 40 acre farm that he inherited....for $100,000 :jawdrop:
So, I contacted CSE and let them know about the property sale and they turned it over to some kind of asset collection department.
Today I got papers from the County State's Attorney's office that's working for CSE and there's an order attached to
1. hold ExH in indirect civil contempt for arrearages and some medical. If (or I should say WHEN)he's found he's found guilty they could throw him in county jail until the arrearages are paid (PLUS INTEREST)
2. suspend his drivers license (which isn't valid anyway because of DUI's, driving without a valid license, and driving without current insurance)
3. post security or bond to assure payment of child support for the next year...son will be 18 next April.

Now I don't want to seem like a GREEDY VINDICTIVE B**** but....YEAH!!!!!!
He doesn't try to see his son, doesn't want to help support him and actually gets mad when things like this happens...unbelievable!!!
I supported my son on my own for about 3 years, then I met DH and he has also helped support him plus his own 3 kids.

I just don't understand these types of parents!!! AGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Wish me luck Wink

Comments

bellacita's picture

get him!!!!!!!!! not bc u have to or even want to, but for all those other dads who have to pay even tho they take care of their kids and are really good fathers...

steppie1999's picture

I'm not getting my hopes up but yes, it would be nice. BS is taking a law enforcement course next year (his Senior year) and I would love to be able to set some of the arrears money aside for him because if he pursues this after high school, he can get some of his degrees and certificates he needs at a local Junior College....he's thinking CSI type of work. I'm very proud of BS for thinking about his future!:D

Other than that, we could use the money around here as well. I've been out of work since Sept '07...tore my rotator cuff and had complications. I finally got released to work for 4 hours last month but in February, my employer terminated me...said it was too hard to find a temporary worker to replace me. Yeah, right...that's why the same guy who was working for me after my injury is still doing my job!!! Can you say "WRONGFUL TERMINATION"??!!!!
Anyway, since I was released they cut my temporary disability and it's real hard to find a job when you can only work 4 hours a day and that's if they'll even hire you, knowing you have a work related injury. It SUCKS!
Oh, and to top that off....I applied for unemployment and they denied me because they screwed up the paperwork so now I have to appeal. We're having a tough time getting by on DH's paycheck after child support and insurance taken out for his kids.
Sorry, I'll stop my pity party now....
But it was nice to have that glimmer of hope in my mailbox this morning Wink

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN" Sad

littlegrlzx4's picture

First of all, GREAT for you! It's nice to see that the "system" can sometimes work.

On the other hand, do we have the same Exh? Seriously, mine's $15K behind in CS, didn't get off his butt to reduce his obligation when he had the opportunity and could have his license taken away if he wasn't so fond of drinking and driving and fleeing the scene of an accident.

I guess they're ex's for a reason Smile

steppie1999's picture

What were we thinking in the first place???
Of course, in my case, the man I divorced wasn't the man I married. He actually said to me once after our son was born, "you've changed" and my response to him was "you're right...I'm a mother now and take my responsibilities seriously....why don't you?"

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN" Sad

Tara12's picture

Don't feel vindictive!!!! My son is 21 and i just started getting child support about a year ago - $120 here, $80 here. I filed for child support when my son was 8! My ex was drug dealer owned nice houses, car, boats, etc., but couldn't pay his lousy $196/mth child support which was based on CA minimum wage back in 1994 and child support could do nothing because he didn't have a job!!! He owes me $20K as well. I supported my son myself all those years and he has gotten busted gone to jail, had a few more kids, gotten DUI's, etc. Now he is some broken down 40 year old living with nothing living with his mom trying to pay for all the kids he has. AND he has to have a job because he is on probation for like 6 years! So now matter how old your son is he STILL owes you that money. All I have to say is KARMA and what comes around goes around. Good luck! ps - the best part is he FINALLY filed taxes for the first time in years and that $6500 was intercepted by the IRS and I am getting it next mth after the 6mth waiting period - so now my son is at least getting a car!

steppie1999's picture

Can you ever imagine thinking that??
My ExH would be further behind if it wasn't for the IRS interception. Last year I got around $5000 after the IRS intercepted ExH and his wife's tax refund. In fact, Ex's wife called and asked me for the money back because it was actually from her wages!!!! This phone call was how I found out I was getting their (her) tax refund.
I'd feel sorry for her but I warned her years ago not to attach ExH name to their taxes anywhere or I would end up getting it. Well, she got greedy and filed Head of Household in order to get a bigger refund and I ended up with the money.....this was her straw that broke the camel's back, because shortly after this she left the deadbeat.

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN" Sad

steppie1999's picture

There seems to be lots of good Karma going around. I'm glad everything is falling into place for you too, Cruella!
I hope our Karma starts spreading to everyone else here that needs it!

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN" Sad

steppie1999's picture

Isn't it great??!!!!
There's supposed to be interest imposed on my ex's arrearages too, but I don't know what the rate is. I guess I'll have to research and find out.

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN" Sad

everythinghappens4areason's picture

Dont be greedy ladies...I need some Karma to be happening my way!!! My ex owes me $100,000 for child support and hasnt filed taxes in 10 yrs!!!!!!!!!!!!! I havent received one cent since we separated and have raised our 3 kids myself...oldest will be 18 shortly.

Current hubby has been off of work for 2 yrs due to an injury & receives next to nothing for a disability...like not enough to even buy groceries for the month. I had surgery 3 wks ago and have had complications and have to be off of work indefinitely. I can now apply for sick benefits but it is only 50% of my wages and I was cut back to half my hours 2 months ago.

COME ON KARMA.....I AM NEEDING SOME HELP NOW!!!! Do some praying for me friends, cause we need it!!

Corie

steppie1999's picture

That sounds terrible!!! but I can sympathize since I'm going through a lot of the same financial problems at the moment. It's hard to pay $1500 monthly bills (not counting groceries & gas) with less than $1000 a month Sad
I thought my ExH was bad being $20,000 behind but $100,000....OMG!
My State has a deadbeat dad site that I've looked at and it's unbelieveable that these NCP's get so far behind!! There are a few women on the site too so I think they'll have to re-name it Dead Beat Parents...to be politically correct Wink
Hang in there....I'll focus my energies on trying to send some good Karma your way!!

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN" Sad

everythinghappens4areason's picture

Having financial problems is soooo stressful. Some days its hard to see the good, but I have to focus in on the fact that we do not have life threatening health issues and all the kids are healthy. Things are really really tough and have been especially this past 2 years, but on the other hand; they could be worse!

Send all the extra Karma you can our way, it will be more than appreciated...... Smile

Corie

steppie1999's picture

And take care of yourselves...especially your Spirit!!!

"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN" Sad