Unwanted Presents From BM. Thoughts?
I thought Id throw this out there to you all & see what you all think about this. DHs Birthday was this wkend, and it was a milestone, the big 40!! I threw him a big party. We also celebrated his Retirement from the Navy (22 yrs)!!
Of course we asked BM to switch weekends with her so that the 3SSs could attend. It took her 3 weeks & my MIL to call her & offer to drive the boys here with them (we are 4 plus hours away) for BM to finally agree to allow them to come. So atleast the boys were able to attend. But thats not my issue, right now...
My issue is that BM keeps playing games & Ive finally had enough!!! For 3 years Ive personally taken my SSs shopping to purchase gifts from them personally, from them to DH. For. Every. Holiday!!!! BM knows this!!!! Ive even told her (last Christmas) that I had it all covered & nothing more was needed!! It was done very politely and in person- she seemed to understand. Yet, every Holiday or personal day that would pertain to my DH, she Oversteps her bounds & just Has to send gifts & cards and personal text messages to my DH. She seems to just not Get It!!!
Now- before anyone says "its from the kids" which is also her BS statement as well. Thats just plain Bullcrap!! The boys have NO idea what these "gifts" are!!! They usually come wrapped & weve asked whats in the gifts & the boys (14,11,9) have no idea & did not go shopping with her, but most importantly--- they dont even care to watch DH open them!!! They simply dont care!! Ss14 even makes comments like "why does Mom send these gifts" and my personal favorite said this wkend by SS14 "Dad- doesnt she know what boundaries are"?!? Lol
She has to ALWAYS try to include herself into my DHs personal life by sending cutesy texts to him, things like "Happy Birthday DH!! Remember when you turned xx and we did xx". It pisses me off that EVERY Holiday or personal celebration, BM has to assert herself. DH & I have had Enough!!! 3 yrs !!! & BM is REMMARIED also!!!! Wtf?!?:
Doesnt her DH feel weirded out by all this?!?!
This wkend, BM just couldnt control herself. She of course sent DH a gift- From Her!!!!! BM has NOT been nice in any way to me. Shes been awful- so its not like we are "friends" with her. Cordial? Yes. For the kids sake.
How do we get her to back off? I want to mail her back her gift to my DH. She sent it with the kids of course, but we didnt want to send them back with it. They shouldnt be involved nor will I put them in the middle. BM has put them in the middle enough!!!
DH wants to include a letter that states he doesnt want gifts from her under the pretensed guise of "from the kids" & that they will ne returned unwrapped from now on & that his Wife (me) has taken the boys shopping for 3 years. Theres no need nor excuse.
Thoughts?
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i think his idea is excellent
i think his idea is excellent
Same as all of the above. Or
Same as all of the above. Or your DH could regift them to her DH on his birthday wrapped and un open. LOL! Just kidding! But wouldn't you love to see her face }:)
That is the right thing to
That is the right thing to do. Of course what we did was a littl emore blunt and to the point. She handed a christmas gift to Dh, and he walked it directly to the ourside trash can and put it inside, while she was still standing there wathcing. LOL
>>>Doesnt her DH feel weirded out by all this?!?!
Likely, her DH doesn't know it is happening. My instinct would be to let him know next time you see him. Hand HIM the gift and say "please tell your wife to stop sending gifts to my husband, its not necessary".
Ima bitch like that though.
He could send it back or
He could send it back or donate it and email her telling her xxx charity appreciated the donation and to stop sending gifts to him. That's what I would do.
^^^^^LIKE^^^^^^ By the way
^^^^^LIKE^^^^^^
By the way "Oh hell NO!" She is way over stepping she needs put in her place!
Thanks!!! I knew I wasnt
Thanks!!! I knew I wasnt crazy for wanting to throw it all away. But after 3 yrs of this shit-- Ive done lost my patience!!! Its just so......pathetic of her!!!!!! I just wanna scream " get the f over yourself, lady!!!"
She once made the pathetic comment to both DH & the skids that "shes very insecure & jealous of me". Ewwww Lady-- you have nothing Id be jealous of!!!!! But she tries to "paint" me as the jealous, insecure person!! But truly Im not-- I just understand respect for others, morals & I definitely understand normal healthy boundaries!!! Ohhhh shes really pathetic!!
I just want her games to stop!!
DH should give the gifts to
DH should give the gifts to her husband and tell him that perhaps he could use them as he doesn't want them. And he should also tell her DH that he also has no interest in her love notes.
Oldone- thats a great idea!!!
Oldone- thats a great idea!!! I dont think her DH knows of all she does. She very manipulative- so its possible that she lies to him. Ya know its "from the kids". Yeah- whatever. Lol
She sounds like a real
She sounds like a real whacko. Love the idea of sending the gifts back unopened. I double like the idea of giving them to her DH. THAT would be priceless.
Reminds me of the time BM told SD to ask my DH what size underwear he wore so she could buy him some for Xmas. I told SD, "tell your mother that it is inappropriate to buy underwear for another womans' husband."
SD replied "They're from me & my brother." I said "We'll you and your brother can buy him socks, a tie or a sweater."
Needless to say, no gift was sent.
BM used to do this all the
BM used to do this all the time. Not only would she send gifts to DH, but to my MIL as well. It used to seriously piss me off. At first it was just pictures of the kids that she took and photoshopped AND framed. Then it was other stuff.
Two years ago, DH was whining because he wanted to fry a turkey for Thanksgiving and Xmas, so for his birthday the following January, I got him a turkey fryer from all three kids.
Apparently my SS told BM what they got him and she told him that was a stupid present, so she bought DH a gargoyle fountain thing and sent a card with it that said "From the TWO of us" (on purpose, she loves excluding my BD as much as she can too, she's not their REAL sister, nevermind that she's been around since SS was 3 and he doesn't remember a time when she wasn't around or anything).
SS, being a big mouth, spilled the beans about it because SD gave the present a funny look when DH opened it (since she had no knowledge of it). DH waited until the kids went home and tossed it in the trash. He told BM that it wasn't appropriate for her to get gifts for him, and to keep her personal opinions to herself.
So far, nothing since.
BM hasn't gone as far as to
BM hasn't gone as far as to give DH presents on special occassions. Not that I wouldn't put it past her to start. She did text DH happy anniversary the first year that we were together. They were already divorced. She also sent DH a card after his grandfather died in the mail letting him know that she's so said and if he needs anything to just let her know. WTF ever. Just two months before that DH told her he was dying and he wanted to take the kids to another state to see him on last time and what does she do the week we were supposed to leave? Enforces the CO drop off time instead of letting DH have them an extra day. She was just doing it to be a b!tch to me and p!ss me off.
Man, these women are crazy!!!
Man, these women are crazy!!! My hubby is off tommarow. So we are gonna send the gift back with a note!!!! Im just so sick & tired of her antics. Ive taken it for almost 3 yrs!! Im. Done. !
Ha! I found this old post
Ha! I found this old post about BM giving gifts to DH, I thought this could be solved with photos taken of DH opening the gift from BM and being so happy about it that he leans over and gives YOU a kiss while holding the gift and sending photos to BM saying "THANKS! we love it!"