Inconsideration - caused a night from HELL - thanks skids!
EVERY day I have to tell the skids the same thing: please make sure you close the door(s) behind you and don't leave doors open - meaning, if you run out to the car to grab something you forgot or if you take out the trash, close the door behind you!
Why? We have a new kitten. This kitten was brought into the home to ease my daughters heartbreak when we have to put her cat who has cancer to sleep - which will be soon. The kitten has a tendency to try to run out the door as did our old cat - now that he is sick, he really doesn't have the energy to try it anymore.
For almost 4 years I have preached the same message - close the damn doors behind you!
So last night when DH left to go get the skids, I had to have a difficult and painful talk with my daughter about her cat and that he is starting to suffer, so the time to put him down might be soon. She took it hard, but looked at the new kitten and gave him a hug and said "thankfully we have him to hug when we miss our old kitty"... it broke my heart, but at the same time I felt relieved that she found comfort in the new fella...
So the skids get there.. and have al their crap - come into the house like a heard of elephants.. I'm like please close the door - make sure it shuts..
About an hour later, it's bedtime and I notice I can't find the kitten anywhere.. panic sets in.
Sure enough he is NOT in the house anywhere. I go get DH and tell him. Of course he is in denial that his boys let the kitten out.
I ask sk14 - and he claims he saw the kitten just a little bit ago.. LIE
I ask sk12 - and get "oh yea, when I was in the front living room I noticed the front door was open and shut it"
I'm like "what? You noticed the door was open and didn't think to see if the kitten might have gotten out?" Seriously? He didn't think to tell the adults what he saw an hour earlier... Oh, and this kid does not shut any door quietly - it's always slammed.. and this time he gingerly shut the door without a sound?
I was pissed. Totally preventable. Yes, it was an accident.. I get that. But what really chapped my ass was the nonchalant attitude.. the not giving a shit. Just oh well.
I'm literally freaking out.. luckily my daughter was already asleep..
I spent 4 hours looking for the kitten in the cold - up till 1am, tears in my eyes, thinking "what am I going to tell my daughter in the morning"... sick to my stomach. DH looked too - he was worried.
Finally I found him! Thank GOD.
This morning, I really expected some apology or SOMETHING from the skids.. just even a joke about making sure the door was closed.. anything!
I get nothing. Nothing at all from them.. DH said they asked him about the kitten and that was it.
I'm pretty mad now.. sure, it all worked out, but would it kill them to show a little remorse for the fact that their carelessness really caused a problem and it could have been so much worse? That they are sorry we were up till 1am looking for the kitten in the freezing cold?
That's the biggest issue with them.. they are just so damn inconsiderate and have no empathy for what they do and how it affects others.. it's not a part of them at all..
Thoughts?
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Comments
That would burn my ass! I
That would burn my ass! I have three cats inside and have the same problem with the front door not closing all the way and I am constantly saying to every member of the household to shut the door. You should have had them out there looking with you til 1 AM!
I was pissed and still am -
I was pissed and still am - they just do not care or seem to have any remorse at all...
Their dog has gotten out without his invisible fence collar and even though it wasn't my fault, I felt awful about it because I know how it is to have a pet get lost and you can't find it.. it's a sickening feeling!
EBay has super cheap alarms.
EBay has super cheap alarms. The alarm will continue to go off until the door is shut fully. They are super easy. They stick on each side of the door.
While that sounds like a
While that sounds like a great solution to most people - the only person who would care about the sound is me.. the skids would ignore it because they are louder than any alarm..
I'm so glad you found
I'm so glad you found kitty...I would have been freaking out and soooo pissed at the uncaring sk's as well.
I agree with the poster who said that they should have been out looking for the kitten with you.
It sounds to me as if they should lose something precious to them until they can put forth a little more effort into respecting your request to do something as simple as making sure the doors are closed behind them! I hate how some kids don't pay attention to the things they do unless it may directly affect them!
I didn't really want them
I didn't really want them looking with me - why? Because they are loud and obnoxious and would probably cause the kitten to run off even more if they did see it and try to catch it.. then I would have to put my foot up their asses for sure!
That's them to a "T" - they don't give a rats ass or pay attention to anything unless it's related to them or their crap.. selfish and entitled! All about them.
You are watching Tv.. oh, they will come into that room with their ipads and start to play a game with the volume up and talk loudly to each other about it.. they don't care. You pause the show and tell them to turn down the volume and lower their voices and 3 minutes later it's right back where it was.. I can see this being an issue with a 6 year old, but not a 14 & 12 year old!
Take the Ipad away from them.
Take the Ipad away from them. Simply removed from their hands and tell them it's a consequence for not following the rules. If DH doesn't like it, tough. It's your home also.
Gotcha What's really bad is
Gotcha
What's really bad is when you get sushed because the Disney channel is on, but oh, never mind when I'm trying to listen to something! Yes, entitlement.
I am so happy you found the
I am so happy you found the cat. I think that us step-moms often get disrespected and basically our requests ignored especially if the BM is not respectful behind the scenes or not to just blame her but also if their dad isn't teaching or supporting behavior empathetic towards you.
My Step Son refuses to shut the front door when he comes in from school or anywhere else. I was upset a couple months ago because he left it open and we had some strange man come to the door and the kids were home alone and it puts the kids in the position of this guy walking in or them having to answer the door instead of simply ignoring it. I said something to my step son and he challenged me and my reqeust. He still doesn't follow it.
At least with our own kids we can just say "shut the flipping door". But at least they would care about their mistake and say "sorry".
I think their dad needs to speak up and have a talk about how the kitten could have died.
Sorry to hear!!!! So gald she is back!!!
I was literally so upset I
I was literally so upset I puked.. I was so worried about the little fella and how in the hell am I going to tell my daughter he got out and we can't find him..
Yes! Exactly - my daughter would feel like crap if she was responsible for their dog getting loose.. she would probably cry!
These guys, "oh well".. everything from the kitten getting out to waking you up in the morning because they have to argue over who plays the PS3 first.. they never say "sorry" and mean it and they never think about others first!
I know that's how kids are - but it's our job to teach them and when you send the same message over an over again.. you would think they would get it and give a crap!
Dh is going to talk to them, but really.. I don't think it will sink into their heads.. they lack empathy completely.
make them stand there and
make them stand there and open and shut the door 100 times. My dad did that to us I hated it but got the hint.
That is a great idea!
That is a great idea!
^^^^Love the 100 times
^^^^Love the 100 times idea!^^^
Hilarious! But really,
Hilarious!
But really, stepmomsoon, I'm so sorry that you were upset to the point of vomiting...my heart goes out to you. I'm sure kitty will be grateful to have so much love from you and your daughter.
Go to home depot and buy the
Go to home depot and buy the GE door alarms...My stepkids were terrible about just showing up and not letting anyone know they were in the house. DH installed these and it helped tremendously. I know know when a door is open...
They are 12 & 14.. I have
They are 12 & 14.. I have tried to make this a "teachable moment" and tell them over and over again why we need to close the door..
I know it was an accident, but damn.. it could have been prevented if they JUST PAID ATTENTION to something other than their own damn selves for once.
OMG, doesn't it just piss you
OMG, doesn't it just piss you the hell off?
It's like "not my cat, not my problem".. WTF? Especially when they KNOW my daughter has a cat dying from cancer and this kitten is special because it's giving her something to take the focus off the other one when he goes.. ZERO COMPASSION!
They just do not care about anything unless it's theirs.
I know it was an accident, but they deserve to have their asses handed to them because it was completely avoidable.. and the fact that they still do not seem to grasp the seriousness of how bad this could have ended!
Put a lock on the door that
Put a lock on the door that they don't have a key to and keep it locked at all times. They will have to ask you to open the door so they can come/go and you can stand there with a stopwatch until they are back inside. If they dilly dally the time they waste of yours gets deducted from their bedtime.