You are here

Kids are so spoiled mom does not help with expenses.

StepmomOC's picture

Submitted by StepmomOC on Tue, 11/03/2020 - 4:24pm

The only arguments my husband and I have are about his kids. They run the house I pretty much stay in my room while they are here. They decide what to do and what we have for dinner. They are allowed to stay up late on school nights and are sometimes loud. We have them half the time. Just waiting till they are grown and leave the house. The oldest who is 18 is so lazy. I see him as a permanent resident which drives me nuts.  My husband pays for everything. There mom who gets lots of money for support never even offers. If a friend needs a birthday present even when at their moms they get it from their dad.  They need gas again dad. The dad got the oldest cars and insurance. He ask the mom to help with ones insurance which she refused. He's paying for music college for the oldest again no help from mom. I don't like these kids I feel like a prisoner in my own home and wish she would help with expenses. My husband wants to get out of alimony by paying the college expenses but don't think she'll agree to that. We have to rent but she gets alimony and got money from her parents for a 4 bedroom house.  

Comments

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Tue, 11/03/2020 - 7:49pm

And you put up with this because...?

One of my BIG lines in the sand is that my quality of life won't be worse due to my DH being a Captain Save-A-MoFo. If, on my own, I could buy a house and live in it how I want, and I CAN'T do that while married to DH, then DH has to go. I work too damn hard to not benefit from my own labor.

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Wed, 11/04/2020 - 5:10am

He can't make her help - but he can stop taking over with things that aren't necessities, like cars and college tuition.  He could also take it back to court and revisit the agreement to try to include things like cars and tuition (though depending on your area, men risk being ordered to pay more if they do something like this).

There is no way in hell she will agree to give up alimony if he pays for college, especially since she knows he'll pay for college AND pay for alimony.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Wed, 11/04/2020 - 5:50am

While these things tie back into his last marriage and kids, they are bigger than that. You are kind of hyper focused right now because your emotions are high.

For example- He doesn't have YOUR marriage and financial future at heart if he is obsessing with his kids not working and paying for their college. Unless he already had savings for them to go to school, college isn't a parents job. Not if it means that the parents won't be able to afford a mortgage, fund retirements, live their lives. 

He doesn't make you a head of household. That shows lack of respect for you as his wife. The kids wouldn't have control like they do if he valued your place and opinions. 

These are bigger things than what they appear on the surface. Are you sure this is the life you want to live?