I just got dumped for the SD.
DH and I have not been good since he unleashed the beast earlier this week (see previous post).
Well, today things have been decent, but as soon as younger SD came over (age 5, older SD had plans) things went to shit. She wanted to go to an Italian restaurant, and I said we had everything she wanted here that I could make. She wanted spaghetti and meatballs, and I realized I didn't have any spaghetti sauce.
DH was pissed about this, so I said I could just make some homemade. Tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, olive oil, garlic, onion...right? He was all "you don't make FRESH sauce for a 5 year old. It isn't what she wants." I said I would prove him wrong, make it for her, and show him it'll taste the same. That way we don't have to all go to dinner (both of us just got home from work, tired, in sweats, not feeling like going anywhere). Or I offered to make her anything else.
Oh no, the brat NEEDED her spaghetti and meatballs.
I was digging for the cans of sauce when I heard the garage door. He left with her to go to the restaurant she wanted to go to. Didn't say he was leaving, didn't invite me. WTF?! He's never done anything like this!
I'm livid.
He knows I'm struggling as it is right now, feeling overwhelmed, left out...and then just leaves?
Happy fucking Labor Day weekend to me.
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Comments
OMG...... Wow! I really
OMG...... Wow! I really don't know what to say other than - you guys need to have a conversation about that. I think that was a bit rude. If he wanted to just have father daughter time - then he could have let you know that as well. Geez! I am sorry!
HELLOOOOOOO!!! Did u not sat
HELLOOOOOOO!!! Did u not sat ur SD is 5? Am I just so damned old schooled that I'm the only one who sees a problem with a 5 year old requesting to be taken out to dinner?! Since when?
Whatever! Don't cook squat. And don't give your DH any loving until he genuinely apologizes for treating you like trash! What an idiot.
Assert yourself --- don't forget: people only treat you the way you LET them.
AMEN! He didn't even have
AMEN! He didn't even have courtesy to say he was leaving? Screw that - you better not offer to whip some eggs in the morning either! If its his weekend with mama mia - I'd wake up and enjoy the Saturday WITHOUT those two! Movie, shopping, pedicure - whatever! Good luck!
Maybe she just wanted to stay
Maybe she just wanted to stay in for the night. Does it matter? Her husband did something that is completely unacceptable...how can you find blame with her because she wanted to make a home cooked meal?? I think it's great that she was willing to go to the trouble.
I know I can say that if I'm
I know I can say that if I'm tired, I'd rather cook than go out any day. Personally, I enjoy cooking that much. So, for one, I think that way.
I feel for you SMJ. I cannot
I feel for you SMJ. I cannot believe he did that. That's okay though, once you get over being so hurt and angry, enjoy the evening to yourself. Let him make sure she gets her bath and let him make sure she gets in bed and let him cook her breakfast or take her out the next morning. After a weekend of dealing for his own child without any help, he may just start appreciating you better. And Sue, I dont mean this mean, but I have come home from work tired and had to cook for five kids plus my husband. That idea sounds much more appealing to me when I am tired than getting dressed and then having to sit at a restuarant. I would much rather cook something in my comfortable clothes and relax during my meal without worrying about having to drive home. So I do think SMJ's response might have been reasonable for her state of mind.
to SMJ - And.... if husband wanted to take the daughter out rather than have you cook, he could have just said, you know what... I would like to go out. Then you could have made the choice to go with them or stay home without all the drama. Good Luck!:)
LOL Sue, she said they were
LOL Sue, she said they were in sweats and I do believe the little girl wanted to go to the Italian restuarant. I love to get comfortable but be darned if I am going to go out to eat at a sit down restuarant, whether it be dennys or McDonalds in my sweats:)
Im just saying we were not there in her position at that moment. I do think she really was trying to have a relaxing evening at home, even if it involved cooking. No two people are alike in this world, so I was just trying to point out while it might seem easier to you to have just taken the SD out as requested, she might have thought it was easier to stay home and cook. I am not sure myself what I would have done in that moment because I wasn't there but I do know we are all here because we need encouragment and support.
Oh heeeeeeell no!! Excuuuuuse
Oh heeeeeeell no!! Excuuuuuse me, but BF would be eating his balls if he pulled that stunt with me. No way you're ditching me with no explanation, when I'm trying to do a favor for you and YOUR CHILD. hell no. seriously? wow.
I'm sorry I didn't read this
I'm sorry I didn't read this sooner. What I would do is get myself dressed, call a friend and go out to dinner with that friend. No note, no call. Then when he came home and you weren't sitting there waiting on him and he didn't know where you were, it would be his turn to feel like crap. Sometimes you have to DO to others as they DO to you. Once I got home I would tell him that everytime he made me feel like I didn't matter, I would someone that wiil.
Personally speaking, I think
Personally speaking, I think I would check myself into a hotel for the weekend and let him deal with his daughter as he sees fit. I'd have bubble baths and room service and pamper myself and let him have something to think about. }:)
This is NOT good at ALL! If
This is NOT good at ALL! If she is 5 now what is your DH setting up for you when she turns 13 or 14?
My DH has not only put my adult SD before me but his parents for almost 7 years. Like I told in my earlier post this week, for the first time I told her I was not putting up with her mouth anymore. She is 27 and still lives with BM! Come on! Time to cut the apron strings and the belt loops too!
You need to think very seriously about what your DH did to you tonight. No respect flat out!
I agree with the weekend of nothing but you time but be thinking while at it. If you love him, you better demand counceling or you'll have hard times ahead when she is older
I am out of my hell at the end of the month. When I make up my mind, thats it I am DONE!