I think you mean defensive?  DOesn't seem too over the top. AGAIN, you need be taking the time out of your life to find a therapist to help you address these things. 

This is why I don't bring up the subject of SD anymore at all and when my husband wants to talk about her I just reply "uh-huh"

No matter what I say he gets offended or thinks I'm judging his parenting and I hate his daughter. He automatically assumes a negative no matter what I'm saying. I used to not have entirely negative feelings about her but it is become a self-fulfilling prophecy. He assumed that I hate her and disagree with his parenting at the beginning I didn't but now I do. Lesson learned when he's talking about the step kids just say "uh-huh."

Poster I get what you're feeling.  Been there done that.  I can only recommend that for now that you cut yourself some slack on things.  It sounds like your feeling a little disoriented by all the blending stuff - which is understandable.  The best way I know to handle is to let you husband handle his kids and be helpful where appropriate.  Like the poster above suggested - just say "ok" when he reports stuff about his kids.  Don't worry about closets, pictures, etc. - those things will work themselves out as they arise.   Go with the flow more - there is a certain amount of this step parenting journey that you have no control over - I get that it's stress inducing- but as long as it doesn't impinge on your daily life or marriage - let it go.