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SM Bill of Rights

stepmom914's picture

See this and had to save it so I could use it later.

Step Mother's Bill of Rights
Submitted by Marbear on Sun, 06/20/2010 - 9:14pm

Stepparent Rights

1. Our marriage/partnership is our first priority, and we will address all issues together.
2. I will be part of the decision-making process in my marriage and family at all times.
3. People outside the immediate family – including ex-wives, in-laws and adult children – cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent.
4. I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits.
5. I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit and how long they will stay.
6. I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distributed fairly.
7. I will be consulted regarding all family financial matters.
8. Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.
9. I will never be treated as an “outsider” in my own home or abused by anybody.
10. My husband and stepchildren must treat me with respect.

Comments

thinkthrice's picture

Love it but enforcement is an uphill battle.

Chef did the exact opposite of everyone of those ten in the early years. I truly thought I was going crazy!! Then I found this site about 9 years ago.

dragonfly5's picture

So true enforcement is an uphill battle. I have my own rules Smile but I really like these too.

1. I am a emptynester stepparent. My stepchildren have two involved parents. I don’t need to take on a parenting role.
I already parented mine.

2. I am a wife first, parent second, and a stepparent third. I like me and I will create time and space for myself.

3. I am a mom. And I will spend time with my adult, independent, happy daughter when I want. Your children do not come before my daughter.

4. My husband chose his former wife to be his children's mother. He must take responsibility for the consequences of that choice for himself and his children.

5. Whatever dynamic exists between my husband and his former wife does not involve me. They must work together for their children's benefit.

6. I will be kind to my stepchildren. I will support my husband in his role as their dad. I will contribute – on my own terms.

borrowedtime83's picture

Like to all of this!! Sometimes I need a reminder that I matter, too, and that I do need to be involved in things that affect me, my family, or our household. BM and SO do not get to go out and have private meetings and I just have to deal with the fall-out!