Baby Goggles, Disney Dad and Light Bulbs
I thought I was doing something wrong. Why all of a sudden was I the intended target of all the tears, hate, anger, rage and insecurities that these children had? I couldn't figure out the exact moment when I went from being the sweet, loving girlfriend to the hated step monster. I literally woke up one day as Public Enemy #1.
In retrospect...the beginning of my demise all started with her...the BM. The manipulative bitch who ruined her family with her callous actions and depraved indifference for morality. Yes, it is true, I despise the woman which for me is saying something. I do not have mean bone in my body, but I do hate, despise, loathe and wish nothing but for karma to give her a big old kiss right across her forehead....I digress.
She hated my youth, personality and charm and she hated seeing her broken ex husband smile and laugh again. This wasn't my fault. I did not know my husband when they were divorcing. She was already engaged before the ink was dry on the divorce papers. I had an ex husband, he was happy, I was not out to hurt his new love. I was beginning to feel like a bad lifetime movie in the making.
So what happened...
The children were placed in the middle, not by me....but by the one person who should be sacrificing her own happiness to ensure her children were mentally, physically and emotionally ok. She sent her kids on covert missions of derailing my best of intentions and turning anything and everything I did against me. If I bought they something, I was trying to buy their affection. If I made their lunch, I may have poisoned it. If I asked them to bathe, well who the hell was I to act like their mom? If I appeared in a photo with the kids....all hell broke loose. She was bitter. Resentful and full of revenge-fullness from her own bad choices. I was the sacrificial whipping post for all that was wrong the the world and she would strike at any distance and over the slightest thing. Which led the kids to know there was blood in the water....and they were like little sharks out to see who could bite first and draw the most blood.
Innocently...my husband, like myself, blindly thought marrying would fix our hearts and the hearts of our children. These are people, not light bulbs. Not so easily replaced and if you aren't careful, you can break the glass.... if you push to hard, the glass will shatter, you don't push enough the light will not come one. Changing of the light bulbs, a very tricky task.
I would often tell my husband, we needed to form our own family, traditions, rules, terms of acceptable behavior, boundaries and consequences.
Party Foul. I don't know what I was thinking trying to bring logic into newly formed family. All of these things already existed. But none of them were discussed. There wasn't any understanding only misconception of the perseption of this family.
My husband would look at his then 11, 12, 14 and 19 year old children (Yes, I WAS NOT THINKING STRAIGHT) like they were infants. Even when they did things to deliberately cause a problem, there was always an excuse. When they were caught stealing, oh, they weren't stealing from me, they could always take money from their mom's wallet...oh the stories I could tell. He never saw the action, the right or wrong in what they did, he only saw his precious baby. This went on for several years, the teenage daughter was the worst. I can only imagine what the house would have been like if we both would have had our "ladies days" at the same time. My husband had what I love to call baby goggles. His kids could do no wrong. To make matters worse, my husband had a bad case of Disney Daditis...if they were rude, there was a reason, if they stole, they were only borrowing, if they lied, it was a misunderstanding....baby goggles.
Baby goggles, Disney dad and Light bulbs