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TikTok

Stepmama2321's picture

I feel like I've already made enough posts to figure out my situation with my step daughter is that neither of her parents are parenting very well lol and I need to step back and stop worrying about how she turns out.... but gosh it's so hard to do when you do actually care for the child and the way they turn out does affect you later in life. Anyyyyyway... I just wanted to hear other parents' opinion on TikTok. My 8 yo SD has one, not on private, follows over 500 ppl, has over 200 ppl following her, has posted at least 100 videos. They are all super inappropriate in my opinion. Songs like Kings Dead (go listen if you haven't heard it but some lyrics are "Slob on my knob"). Provocative dances. Am I super old fashioned and believe that's too young to do all that? Is this normal new-age parenting? Don't have one that old yet and obviously I know now to just keep my opinions to myself and let her parents do the parenting... just wondering how others feel. 

Comments

Gimlet's picture

Trust your gut.  No, this isn't reasonable, an 8 year old should not have access to this.  Is this what she's up all night watching? She's posting songs with those lyrics and doing provocative dances??

Geez, her parents just can't be bothered, can they? 

Stepmama2321's picture

I know I'm like what the hell? Am I super uncool and this is new norm or do we have an entire generation of sh*t parents or is it just the ones around me? Yes she's always on TikTok! She knows allllll the popular dances and songs. She does the dances, too! Idk I feel a little overly psycho about pedos and I would never let my child dance like that and anyyyyone can see since it's not on private mode. 

SteppedOut's picture

Are you having a hard time respecting your bf because of this? Yuck. 

And honestly, if you want kids, is this partner the one you would want to have as your future children's father?

Stepmama2321's picture

Honestly, yes. The other responses I've gotten on my posts, just validates the fact my bf isn't a great father to his oldest daughter :/ So far ours is 1 and he is actively involved with her but the oldest one, not so much. Just sad and pathetic really. 

Kitten Whiskers's picture

Your instincts are right, and no 8 y/o child should be posting videos of provocative dances.  No child that age should even know about them.  You're not being overly psycho - you're having common sense.  At that age, all they should have access to is a Barnie discussion page, and even that is questionable.

I have a very close male friend whose daughter had been taking dance lessons from the time she was maybe 2 or 3.  The usual ballet and tap.  She was about the same age as your SD, and began hip hop.  Another dance genre.  No proble  there.  Then the classes turned to twerking.  8 y/o girls were learning to twerk.  Hands on or near the floor, and shaking their booties for attention.  I pointed out to him that was inappropriate for a child of that age, and unless he wanted a stripper pole in her future, he better put a stop to it.  Hip hop classes stopped.

For you, OP, everyone says you can't care more than the birthparents.  It's true.  Your boyfriend needs to step up and pay some attention to what his kid is doing.

 

Felicity0224's picture

If you want to see what is really going on on TikTok, follow @save.the.parents on instagram. Or @collinkartchner. His content has seriously reaffirmed my commitment to keep my daughter screen-free for as long as possible. The stuff that kids are exposed to these days is horrifying. And it happens just like *that*. So disturbing.

Stepmama2321's picture

I plan to keep mine very very sheltered for as long as possible! Not a screen free home, I like tv shows and movies, but I hateee social media for kids. So much inappropriate stuff. My bf had a talk with her about weirdos on the internet, which then lead to a nightmare that night. If you're too young to get talked to about pesos, you're too young for it!

shamds's picture

Nothing else better to do with their time. Claim its to save your mental sanity, to destress from covid stress and lockdowns etc but most of us have jobs, responsibilities etc and university or college studies.

we do not have time to waste on tiltok dances. I’ve seen plenty of famous people in overseas countries getting young kids like 3-6 yrs old doing provocative tiktok moves...

what happened to young kids dancing to their cartoons or the wiggles, barney bear or sesame street, the muppets etc?? My kids only follow the moves and dances they do. No tiktok here... but when kids don’t have chores or responsibilities like homework or studying to do, they waste their time on tiktok out of boredom.

tiktok lowers my iq level because it’s doing nothing productive. I saw that a few of the people who are multi millionaires from tiktok are professIonal dancers and do that when they are bored at home and because of the millions of followers they get sponsorship for products etc

Ursula's picture

My SD is 7. She is at our house half the time. She has a tik tok at her moms, we don't allow it here. She also spends a lot of time with one of BMs friends kids who is 9 and posts a ton of tik toks where she's wearing a bikini and doing provocative dancing. I reported all the ones of SD doing the sexy dances in bikinis and they were removed. I don't like the idea of so much access to social media at a young age and neither does my husband. But he knows to try to talk to BM about it would be useless. 

Stepmama2321's picture

Bf has tried to talk to BM but it has not gone anywhere. I think it's bad for confidence too. On most her videos she's asking to "follow her please" "comment on my video". They crave that validation from strangers and soon become obsessed with it. We only have my SD,8 EOWe so lots of time to do them at her moms. It's just crazy how many parents just don't care or have issue with it. Perhaps I was raised different or have different beliefs because I am totally against it! She did finally delete her Snapchat after her dad made her but TikTok is still going strong

Gimlet's picture

He can only control what she does on his time, so he can forbid tiktok at his home.  I know it's only 4 days a month, and it may not do any good, but at least he is teaching her another viewpoint in his time with her.  He can't abdicate the responsibility.

He should do what Ursula did and report every single inappropriate video.