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What would you do?

StepLightly's picture

Haven't talked to my SD19 all summer. She's in town working (staying with BM) at a job my family got her. At beginning of summer she basically said she wanted nothing to do with me, but wants a relationship with her dad and it's my fault she doesn't have that. We've been married 10 years and honestly...I was always the one who set up time for her to spend with her dad. I've done more for this girl than my own kids. This summer, her and her dad have gone to a couple lunches, which she has instigated. So she just left me a snippy message saying how I'm hurting her and I'm avoiding her and she just wants a relationship with her dad and that how dare I be this way, and it's killing her and I need to call her...all with a snippy tone. What would you do?


sparky's picture

I would ignore her. She isn't your child nor your problem. She is a grown adult so let her father deal with her.

doglover1's picture

young chick needs to grow up. Seems like its easy for her to blame you for whatever problems she is having with her relationship with her dad. THis is not your problem . I would use silence and let her talk to her dad and figure it out. Good luck

Anne 8102's picture

The grown-up, mature mother in me says to let your DH deal with her. The smartass in me says to tell her she really needs to perform on a stage, because her melodrama is being wasted on you. Your choice! Smile

♥ ANNE 8102 ♥

"Stay thirsty, my friends."
~The Most Interesting Man in the World

StepLightly's picture

Always take me from "ready to puke" to giggling. Wink

MOMMYOFTWO's picture

I agree completely ignore her! She is trying to get a rise out of you! If she does not have a audience she will stop performing! She is entitled to her "feelings" and your entitled not to deal with the drama!


now4teens's picture

Especially if she left you a 'snippy' message.

I don't do anything when a child (acting immaturely) DEMANDS me to do something for them.

This is between her and your DH.

Oh, yet another drama queen!

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

Sarah101's picture

To give the bitch attention now would be asking for more of the same immature theatrics. She doesn't call you out when she feels like it--NO WAY.

Just ignore her. "Delete" and smile. That's what infuriates these kind of people the most. I'm sure when she addresses you in a kind and respectful manner you will be happy to speak with her. Until then--she should get nothing from you.

JaxStarryNite's picture

but it's probably because I have no experience in your kind of situation. Personally, I would call her back, tell her I was respecting her wishes and didn't want to invade her space, and if she'd like to hang out, catch a movie/lunch, whatever, I'd be glad to, but it hurts me to be spoken to in such a way. Maybe asking her what she would like? First she wants you to leave her alone, then you do, and she gets mad you don't want to spend time w/her or whatever? Maybe she would like the option to call the shots. Just me, and I don't know the back story, or how you even feel about her, but I thought I'd share anyway...good luck!! Smile

Georgie Girl's picture

I agree with the ladies; it sounds like she is trying to get a rise out of you. Let her dad deal with her.

PlainandSimple's picture

ignore her. My SD's pull that melodrama crap on my DH all the time about me. Let her Daddy deal with her not you!