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...definition of insanity

Step Up's picture

Is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result.

Sadly, same can be said for me. I complain about the way DH and BM handle issues with their children, and I blow up, but I never really do anything about it.

I write earlier in the week about SD16 lying about her whereabouts, and how I had to take off work and try to find out where she was at. Since then, STILL nothing has been done or any punishment given - not once have they discussed with her anything about her actions, that lying is wrong, etc. Just sweep it under the rug.

Of course it's our weekend and SD16 is hot wanting to go out with her friends. "Bowling." I say to DH - well, you and I bowl locally and we know exactly how crowded the place gets on a Friday, and no single lanes are open until after 9 or 10pm, so what is she REALLY going to be doing? Of course he's defensive. I said get mad at me all you want... she just lied to you this week, so what's to say she's going to be where she's supposed to?

He then claims that after talking with her more that she now has Saturday detention... I giggle, I say better follow up on that one too, didn't she tell you all she had detention this week and she was hanging out somewhere she wasn't supposed to waiting on a boy? "I will" he responds. I ask "who do you have to call at the school to find out?" "I SAID I WILL CALL." I said, don't get pissy with me... she lied about detention once... he actually said "it's at 8am though!". Ohhh... because it's early she wouldn't lie to go hang out with a boy? OK, gotcha...

Then hearing him justify wanting to let her do something Friday to me "honey, we'll be packing all weekend I don't think letting her go bowling on a Friday night is a bad thing." I reminded him that he, SS17, and I would be home Friday packing - and she can too.

Mind you, he holds me and others to a different standard when it comes to lying. He will fight until the bitter end if anyone else lies to him, but not his precious daughter. I'm going to start calling him Mat... DOORMAT.

Sad I'm the silent partner here. I can make his life hell and I definitely say my opinion, and 50% of the time he listens. But I know I'm just as guilty for complaining because I'm doing the same thing too - complaining and then not giving the DH ultimatums.

Somehow I think that I only have 2 more years of this crap to deal with - at least the high school crap with SD16... I know there will be adult crap too, but at least it's easier to wipe my hands of it when I don't feel as legally responsible for her well being.

I love the girl, but I despise the actions, which take away from my opinion of her as a person. If she were a grown adult acting like this - not remotely related to me or DH, she would not be in my life, period. I don't have friends like this.

When I look back at her actions, although I say she's a good kid, she's a typical self-centered teen, an immature one at that, who thinks she's grown. Our conversations are "I" conversations... the "look what I can do" or anything that has to do with her, her, her. My eyes hurt from rolling them so much. My mom would have humbled me in a minute if I spoke that way - "don't break your arm patting yourself on the back there, little girl". In my head it's the me, me, me, me, me... anyway enough about me, what do you think about me?

I'm insane repeating myself over and over again... I want to find my happy place...

Comments

alwaysanxious's picture

Its funny this is the 3rd post I've commented on that deals with this annoyance of daddy not doing anything while SM has to point out the obvious. I'm so frustrated along with you. But its so hard to ignore.