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Should only discuss step-life with you all

step-out's picture

I learned my lesson- nobody, not family, friends, really anyone not in "our" shoes gets this stuff. Why is it the " one with the kids" gets the sympathy? I get it, don't get it... I am disengaged from SD. I am working on myself and how I can best handle this all without being forced or being made guilty from others. Ugh! How do you guys do this? 

Comments

CLove's picture

No one truly does, and they will put you down because they dont.

I talk to Steptalkers! This place has saved me more than once.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

This "children are everything" mentality and treating them like little princes and princesses but not actually teaching them anything is ruining families and society IMO. You end up with entitled little sh!ts who throw a fit if they don't get exactly what $200 shoes they want, and they don't even know how to tie the shoes.

ETA that came out more bitter than i meant. Rough week lol. 

Jcksjj's picture

I run into alot of people who project their own experiences onto SD/steplife so they feel sorry for her. Also, apparently kids only act up because of trauma and being a spoiled brat isn't a thing anymore.

JRI's picture

Nobody who hasn't been thru it has no idea whatsoever about step-parenthood.

Stepdrama2020's picture

UNLESS you live it. Besides to the inexperienced stepless folk this sounds made up like we are the crazy ones. Like who could be that dysfunctional certainly not poor widdle SD the COD. Shes been through so much. Daddio loves her of course she comes first, how dare you expect your husband to be like a husband. You get the drill.

This site will save your sanity, if you have any left. Others will make you feel guilty and like you are a stepmonster for not saying thanky for shit sandwiches tossed our way. Afterall the skids come first. 

advice.only2's picture

I was told I was overly dramatic when it came to Spawn and Meth Mouth and all the sh@t we were dealing with.  After I found this site I pretty much stopped talking to family and friends about my step hell.  Every once in awhile I will make a comment to a friend or family memeber and they act like "Why do you still care?  Spawn's our of your life, Meth Mouth is out of your life."  Okay cool, so any trauma you suffered at the hands of a person who is no longer in your life...what do you care?

motherof3boys's picture

No one will ever understand how difficult it is to be in our positions. A lot of outsiders have the "You knew what you signed up for" mentality but that doesn't seem to apply to other life hard life decisions like marriage or having (bio) children. 
JUST SHARE HERE!! Even if you have a friend you think you can share it with and not be judged, I'd ere on the side of don't. Sorry! 

MissK03's picture

No one understand unless they live it. Bottom line. Thankfully we have places like this out there.

ExhaustedByItAll's picture

If they haven't lived it, they do not have any idea of what it is like to deal with an HCBM or kids being PAS'd. I do talk about it with 2 work friends, both are dads who have been through it.