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Now IM the problem!

step-out's picture

DH just a happy lovey conversation with SD And apologized for being the middle man in all this stupid drama. He shared the conversation with me and shared that SD is ready to move forward, but IM THE MISSING PIECE. Now, according to both of them, it's up to me to call her and "move forward". I am trying to disengage, I don't want to be wrapped up in her drama anymore and I don't want to hang out with her. I'm tired of agreeing to do what others want. I hate being the stepmom and have no one here for support. I don't know what I'd do without you all. 

Comments

twopines's picture

Stay strong. Don't let them wear you down. In fact, all the pushing to make me apologize for something I didn't do would make me dig in my heels even more. I would tell my husband that by continually bringing this up, they are not moving forward, so it's actually they who are the problem. 

hereiam's picture

Now, according to both of them, it's up to me to call her and "move forward".

But, you don't want to move forward with her, so tell him to suck it.

caninelover's picture

She can stick her expectation of a call to move forward on the horn of the pink shiny unicorn it will fly in on.

Merry's picture

WTF. He and SD decided something. Well goodie for them. Clearly he and SD are the primary couple here and you are treated like the child. 

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

Your not her parent her father should be the one she wants a relationship with, not you,  It shouldn't matter what you do or don't do that's irrelevant.

tog redux's picture

You said in a earlier post that your DH has narcissistic traits. He is showing those now. He should respect your position on his daughter even if he doesn't agree with it, but instead, he's manipulating you to get what he wants.

Gimlet's picture

You are the missing piece because they can't triangulate without you.  They can't fill the victim and hero roles without a bad guy.

step-out's picture

I'm not caving and sending a nice text (as he suggested) to invite her here for Mother's Day. I am standing as strong as I can while mentally trying to get over making me feel like the one to take the next step. Now SD, SS, MIL and DH trying to drag me down! 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Take a little of that victim status away from SD and turn the tables on them both.

You'd like to move forward, but need time to get over the HURT; SD has HURT you, and the PAIN is still fresh so it will take time to HEAL; you don't know when you'll be able to TRUST her again, but hope she's learned an important lesson about MISTREATING people so perhaps you can revisit the issue after she's established a good long pattern of polite, kind, and RESPECTFUL behavior.

Your SO isn't in the middle, he just wants you to conform and go back to eating sh!t sandwiches so HE can be comfortable again. How can he argue with your PAIN and SUFFERING without looking like a complete jackass? Play him the way he's trying to play you.