What to do?
:jawdrop: I am a mother of two and a step mother of 2. It has been a bumpy road. My husbands ex wife is out to make my life a living h@%%! Its been a nightmare the last year. She got my step children taken away by CPS and my husband and I fought tooth and nail to get them back.
Been pretty ok since. My husband filed his taxes with both children. Their mother tried to file hers with one of them and got flagged. Called my husband begging him for the money she would have gotten from claiming my step daughter. She needs the money to stay out of jail for failure to pay HIM child support. What the frick! He told her he couldn't help. She went off the deep end and told him there were plenty of things she could get him arrested for, that she was going to the sheriffs department and filing a rape charge against him. What do I do? This women is crazy!
She is constantly talking crap about me or my husband to the kids. Constantly involving them in adult situations and conversations. And what does this do, just confuse them even more in an already confusing time for them. They are only 11 and 8. How hard does it have to be. They went through the divorce with mom and dad fighting the whole way, being taken by CPS and put in foster care, readjusting to being back home with dad, now this.
Some days I just don't know what to do? I worry constantly. Any more i'm just beside myself. Can I some how get custody of the kids till they can get along and his ex get her head on straight? I just dont know what else to do. Someone please help. Any advise would be helpful.
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Police don't like it when
Police don't like it when someone files false rape charges. If she keeps it up, she'll end up in jail herself.
Document everything. Stay
Document everything. Stay out of all communication with her. Let DH handle everything. Learn from what these women tell you. It will spare you from years of hearache. Good luck....these women are pains in the ass for years....
I have been documenting
I have been documenting everything that is said to or about her. I now even record every phone call that comes to my house or cell. This women is off! I cant wrap my head around this women, what she does and why. I gave up trying to figure it out. Im a psych major so giving that puzzel up is hard.
The shit of it is we did have relief from the courts. We had a permanent custody order, everyone was getting along and because she didnt get her way and my husband told her NO for once in his life, it pissed her off. So now because of her revenge tacktics and retaliation efforts im having to jump through hoops to show that all this craiziness is her deperate attempt at making everyones life hell just isnt true. And we got her got everything we need now its just waiting till friday for court. I want it done and over with today. No more waiting no more worrying just done and over. But unfortuneatly we dont always get what we want now do we? All I can do is be here for the kids.
So things are looking up. Its
So things are looking up. Its all been a hot mess. The ex wife has finally backed off and is now trying to be my friend. I on the other hand basically told her to take a flying leap! Told her after all the hell she has put me through and all the hoop jumping my husband and I had to do to keep everything we have worked so hard for on track I would rather lay in a bed of rattle snakes then have any kind of friendship with her! I will get along with her because I have her 2 children but past that I dont need her drama and bs in my life! Not when ive come this far and fought this hard....just to let my guard down and let her screw it up some how.
After all this... its my turn to have some peace. The rape charge she filed has been dropped along with the restraining order. We have the visitation schedual back on track, we get to move into our house in a little under 2 weeks, and I think im finally getting my husband to understand that I can handle the children without his constant interjections. GGGGGGOOOOO ME!!!!!
I have only one point to make...THERE IS HOPE! I know it seems some days that you cant handle any more and that giving up is the only thing that will keep you sain...DONT! Keep fighting the good fight. I am told day in and day out by my step children "I hate you! Your mean! Mom wouldnt make me do this! or Dad wouldnt make me do this!" etc etc etc...But when I tuck them in at night I get a big kiss and hug and a truly heart felt "I LOVE YOU!" That is what makes it all worth while for me. I am helping make them better children and eventually better adults. So when there mom wants to be their friend instead of their mother, and only be involved in the events that put her in the lime light, thats fine with me. I will stand in the backround, I will be the "step" mom. Thats fine, because I know that when they are older they will know and they will understand, and they will hate her for all the screwed up crap that she has done. Its sad but its true.
So I am going to do my best to stop stressing over all the little bull that the ex throws my way and im going to work on MY family. Imgoing to work on the things I can control, because god knows I cant control (not even predict) the crap she is going to do. I think I will feel much better in the end. (Now if I can get it through to my hubby that he needs to be on my side and back me up when I say or tell the kids something instead of contradicting me.) That will be a feet! But only one hurddle at a time.