SS and his stupid phone!
God I hope this is the last about this f’ng phone. In case you aren’t up to speed on the saga- SS12 totally smashed his phone last wknd at Crazy’s- immediately upon hearing such tragic news, my SO raced to call and get a new phone and pay the $100 deductible, without even seeing the phone or talking to SS. I mean, just imagine it- a 12yr Old going without a phone!!! *clutches pearls”
My SO has interrogated SS a few times about the events that led to the smashed phone, but SS maintains that it happened by falling off the entertainment center and him trying to catch it with his foot, blah blah blah. I honestly don’t even care anymore what happened. My SO messaged me the other morning asking “how hard did you go at SS about his phone”? What? I didn’t say a word to him about it. Apparently my SO had questioned him again, and he immediately freaked out and started crying, so he thought maybe I had questioned him too. Nope. I may or may not have told SD she couldn’t let him use her phone at night, because I guess I’m evil and think he can live without a phone while he waits for his. Anyway, my SO doesn’t totally believe SS’s story, but he is letting it go.
So today- I get home and my SO says “hopefully SS doesn’t have a breakdown today, I got a notification that his phone won’t be delivered until Monday so he’s all upset”. Me: hm.
I started the day with zero f*cks to give on this subject, and would you look at that, I still have all of them.
Then he goes Into SS’s room and starts talking to him in a baby voice, kind of making fun of him but mostly trying to cheer him up, saying “oh are you sad? You look so sad! You need a hug?”, and then tickling him. *barf*
He came out of SS’s room and said “pouty mcpouterson in there”. Gah! I. don’t. care!! I don’t think it’s cute or funny that your spoiled son is pouting that it is taking a whole week to get a brand-new replacement iPhone 8plus for the one that HE broke! I want to smack him for it, and I want you to tell him to suck it up and take better care of his things, and that SS should just be thankful that he doesn’t have to pay for it and doesn’t have to wait weeks or months like normal kids!
And my SO doesn’t want to hear any thoughts that are contrary to how he handled it, so why does he even tell me this crap? He knows I don’t agree with how he handled it. I’m not saying a word. I don’t want to hear about it anymore. We are all doing something tonight, but I swear if I have to hear about this phone anymore I might snap.
- TrueNorth77's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
You responded on my post the
You responded on my post the other day and it sounds like we are going through very similar things with our DHs - no consequences to the point of basically rewarding bad or irresponsible behavior. Disengaging is probably the answer, but it is so hard to do when it happens under your nose, and if you are like me, you project to what this could lead to in the future. I dont have any good advice, bc I am still in the middle of mine, but I do have a.cell phone story. My SD got an iPhone whatever it was st the time when she was 10 or 11, against my wishes. We were updating our plan and getting ourselves and our boys (4 years older) upgrades, and SD was begging for an iPhone. I told DH that no way did I think it was time for her to have one, put boys got regular cell phones around 12 or 13, and there was no need for her to have a smart phone. Wellllll....we can't upset SD and leave her out so she got an iPhone. Since then she has lost or broken indent known how many times, and generally I ignored what was going in with it bc I have no say in anything. Last year or the year before, she needed DH to run her to her moms to pick stuff. He actually told her it would be later on instead of going right then, so unbeknownst to us, she called BM and had her come get her bf "her dad was being mean" and wouldn't take her. She did come back a few minutes later, and DH happened to be outside. She was struggling to get out of the car with her stuff and dropped her phone on the driveway. It shattered and she freaked out, saying it was DHs fault bc he didn't help her. DH was actually upset that she had just left our house, so he wasnt budging, he said he would look into seeing what it would take to fix it that week but not right then. Naturally that was not good enough, but this time I think she waited until the next morning to call BM and berate her into going to get it fixed that day. Of course BM rushes to the rescue, and an hour later SD comes prancing in with a brand new upgrade. She was just coming to grab some stuff, she wasnt going to stay that night even though she was supposed to. At least in this case I wasn't ready to murder DH, but it does show what he is up against. And I get it, it has to be so hard feeling like you have to worry about the other parent influencing your child against you. So I understand the struggle he is having to an extent, but there has to be another answer than catering to these kids right??
Yes, we are in the same boat!
Yes, we are in the same boat!! It definitely makes me worry about what this could lead to in the future! What’s frustrating is that he has said he doesn’t want to raise entitled kids. How does he think that happens??
I get what you’re saying too. There is pressure from Crazy, although really the rule to live by is, “do exactly the opposite of what she would do” when raising skids. He denies it, but he’s a guilty daddy and it’s getting worse instead of better.
The least he could do is make
The least he could do is make the kid earn the $100 through chores. I don't care if it's 5 hours at $20/hour, make the kid do something to earn the money SO will have to pay to replace the phone. Even if it did "fall off the entertainment center" - he shouldn't have taken the case off, shouldn't have put it up there, and shouldn't have tried to "catch it with his foot" - seriously?
Earn the money or have it taken out of his allowance or birthday/xmas money. It IS his fault that it broke, even if it happened exactly how he said it did, and there should be some pain from breaking something you care about.
Omg Tog, WHY didn’t I think
Omg Tog, WHY didn’t I think of this?? This would have been the perfect compromise, and It would have been hard for my SO to argue this (although he certainly would have!). This whole incident has sat really poorly with me. So much so that it has changed my attitude about skids and my SO this week. I’m sure I will get over it, but I’m questioning a lot right now. I honestly do not have it in me to bring this subject up with him again. I’m afraid Of things I may say.
It's not too late! He doesn't
It's not too late! He doesn't have his phone yet. Even if it's 2 hours of chores, just SOMETHING so he knows he doesn't get to treat his stuff irresponsibly and Daddy will just rescue him.
I can honestly say that in my
I can honestly say that in my entire life I have never successfully caught anything with my foot. Bonus to the broken phone: if he's smart SS will learn that lesson young.
Lol. Same.
Lol. Same.
There are a lot of fantastic
Writers here, especially in face of all the tragedy and pain.
With all the well written competition, this has to be one of my favorite one liners:
‘I started the day with zero f*cks to give on this subject, and would you look at that, I still have all of them.’
Well done, Stepgirlfriend. That sums up so much of how I feel in steplife, and I would guess the feelings of many others!
Lol. It’s The SM motto!
Lol. It’s The SM motto!
Very similar situation
Very similar situation recently with my xSO and his princess. Broke the screen for the millionth time. Daddy but some kind of barrier over the broken bits to hold her over til he could take the phone to the repair shop. The barrier needed to dry before use and she balked at that. WTF?! Sorry science doesn’t work faster for you Princess. He then drops the phone off for the screen repair and takes her out to dinner in the meantime. Again WTF?! Zero accountability. Zero consequences. Only rewards.
The craziest thing is that he complains to me about it like he can’t figure why his kids are so destructive and irresponsible.
All I can say is, you’re a saint for dealing with it. I couldn’t do it. Hang in there lady.
Thank you! And gah! With the
Thank you! And gah! With the complaining about it but not actually doing anything to deter it from happening again. It just blows my mind.
I don’t know how you put up
I don’t know how you put up with this nonsense, you’ve got the patience of a saint SG. I don’t always agree with the choices my DH makes, but if he allowed the boys to get away with this kind of crap, baby talked to them & looked at me as if I was supposed to find it cute, I wouldn’t be able to cope.
I’d either be walking around like a seething rage bomb threatening to explode on him, or I’d find it impossible altogether not to tell him exactly how I felt about his parenting skills & the consequences it’d have in the future.
May hat is off to you! I am too hot headed to be that tolerant of crap like this lol.
The thing is, I’m actually
The thing is, I’m actually not patient at all! So I’ve been doing the seething thing. I tried calmly (this took effort) explaining why I disagreed with how he handled it. It did nothin. So although I had been still seething the entire week, I got to the point where if I held on to this anymore I was going to snap and tell my SO how I felt in a not-calm way, or snapped on SS. Both would have ended with a blow-out fight with my SO, but with no actual change in the situation. I had to let it go for my own sanity. Although I really feel like if this pattern keeps repeating itself, I don’t know that I could be ok with this coddling behavior forever. It would probably end up being too much for me. It’s just hard because skids are really pretty good, so there haven’t been a ton of Incidents like this that have made me want to scream. Lots of other things that made me want to scream, but only a handful of things like this.
Generation Tide Pod
and the enablers strike again! Maybe he should get a contract with those cage fighters... that's a pretty powerful toe to smash a phone like that.
SS doesn’t have a single
SS doesn’t have a single muscle in his lazy, video-game playing body, but he has the strongest toe in the world.