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Sometimes I feel so sorry for SS13

step off already's picture

We took all the kids and SS13's two cousins out to the mountains yesterday and did some hiking, sightseeing, rock climbing (OK, on a very small scale, but they gotta start somewhere).

Halfway through the day, SS13 tells DH how much he loves it and the entire day. He does this often when we do family outings. We are a pretty busy family as we have ss13 full time and my BD12, BS10 and BS8 about 60%+ of the time, plus we try to go to their games even when they're not with us.

SS13 never got the benefit of really doing "family" things. When we've all gone out to dinner to celebrate a birthday, he tells DH how much he likes being a family. When we all pile in the car for an impromptu day out, he'll let him know how much fun he's having.

I know that my influence on the kid is ABSOLUTELY one of the best things to ever happen to him (and I know he knows that too), it's just difficult for him to see this all the time - especially when BM tells him that his dad never spends any time alone with him, that DH and I treat my Bios better, blah, blah, blah.

But, it's times like these when I know I'm doing a good thing.


HungryEyes's picture

That's true. You're a good step mom and he's going to realize what truly makes him happy is being in your family. Smile I believe My BSs and SDs all feel this way too. They are happiest when we are all together.

RedWingsFan's picture

It's how my bio daughter, 15, is. She lives full time with her dad and dad's live-in gf of 4 years in Michigan and gets ZERO attention or family time. When she comes out here to Colorado for spring break and summer - she enjoys all of the together time with DH and I.

We go out to eat, take drives through the mountains, weekend camping trips to the lake, play board games, have poker night with friends, just hang out together at the apartment...she can't get enough of it and says she wishes her dad would show her the same attention and affection that DH and I do.

It's sad, but now that she's in high school and with all her friends, she won't move here full time. Her father won't give up the child support I pay him anyway because it pays for his girlfriend's new Jeep payment!

rollercoasterirder's picture

The sad part is that he genuinely appreciates it, but BM will tear everything you do for him (no matter what you do for him) cause you'll probably do more then she ever will, she will make sure he doesn't appreciate it. I know for a fact this happens to me ALL OF THE TIME! We've been a family for 9+ years and still this woman tears down anything she possibly can - you would think she would be happy that her kid is a enjoying himself, but it's really never about the kid, it is usually about them!

step off already's picture

True. Nothing is ever good enough for BM -even though she has never done a thing for her son. When he was a baby, she'd tell DH, "I don't care what you do with him, you're the one that wanted him" -OUCH! She's been out of the picture since the boy was 5 (now he's 13) and she has the balls to tell SS that his dad doesn't spend enough time with him.

If we all go out together, we get, "but Dad should do stuff alone with you, like I do"
If Dad does homework with him for 2 hours, we get, "but dad should be doing other things with you, like I do"
If Dad brings him with him on some errands/work/, we get, "but dad should be doing fun things with you, like I do"

The poor boy can clearly see what a low life his mother is, but it's easier for him to believe the garbage that she feeds him so that he doesn't have to accpet the fact that she's not interested in being a mom - (oh, unless she thinks it will bother DH - which it doesn't. All he's ever wanted was for her to treat the boy kindly).

rollercoasterirder's picture

She doesn't care about him, it's always about her -- she wants to cause trouble for you and your DH, what she fails to realize is that the boy is the one that pays the big price. These horrible women should be put away until the kids finish college and then they can come out and "try" to have a relationship with them. My SSs BM is a freaking nightmare always causing havoc for them because she has absolutely nothing going for herself so makes sure she makes everyone else's life miserable!

step off already's picture

@BLM - is BM primary or are you guys? That just sucks for SD. HOw old is she? At some point SD will get it and realize that BM is blowing smoke.