OT: Is it ethical for exH to send DD12 to His and Step Mom's Marital Counselor
DD12 has her own counselor. ExH doesn't "love" her, but the counselor has helped my daughter through a few things. She also doesn't beleive in seeing the child when there isn't anything to work on.
A few things have come up lately with DD12 and exH has asked if DD12 can see the counselor that him and his wife see - he likes her, she's retired, she's near his home and she's cheap. I told him I'd think about it.
I can't help but thinking this is a conflict of interest.
I shared this info with the ex this morning. He said he hopes that a counselor would be ethical, blah, blah, blah.
But then he also shared that the counslelor was originally SM's counselor and when they first started seeing her as a couple, she was definitely on SM's side for several things and gave her more leniency.
What do you all think about this?
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I think it creates the
I think it creates the potential for a conflict of interest. If dd has issues with dad, or dad with dd I can't see how the therapist wouldn't take sides. I would never be able to open up to any one under these circumstances, as a kid I would always be in fear that she would tell dad or am what I've said.
I don't think DD has any
I don't think DD has any "issues" per se, but, my DD is definitely a pleaser - especially when it comes to her Dad.
I think if DD is happy with
I think if DD is happy with the counselor she has and she is doing good with that one, why change? It's hard enough opening up and telling your whole life story/inner thoughts to someone in the first place, why change....
I mentioned this too. I think
I mentioned this too.
I think exH does not like the drive to the current counselor.
Yes, legally there is not
Yes, legally there is not supposed to be any sharing of information, or favoritism, one way or the other.
Everything is supposed to be confidential.
But we are all human-even those in the medical/mental health field.
I've gossiped with a friend of mine who is an Occupational Therapist, and she has said, "Oh BLANK, he is a patient of mine, shhh don't tell anyone I said that, it's confidential you know, but he has been, blah, blah, blah,..."
Is this counselor SUPPOSED to show favoritism? NO
Is she SUPPOSED to be more on one person's side or the other? NO
Is she SUPPOSED to be completely objective? YES 100%
Does it always work out perfectly? NO
DOES SHE end up forming opinions about people involved? DAMN RIGHT SHE DOES
DO NOT let her see the same woman. Same practice maybe, but not the same woman.
That's what I thought and
That's what I thought and tried to share with the ex.
The woman is also retired and practicing with previous clients that she "enjoyed" per exH. Sounds like she liked working with SM in the past so she has taken on her and exH for marital counseling as well - or something like that.
It would definitely be a
It would definitely be a conflict of interest. When I did individual therapy, I and those in my practice never saw multiple members of the same family unit. We saw couples, but never an adult/couple AND a child in the family. It's not ethical.
I did try to explain to him
I did try to explain to him that a counselor once told me that since "we" were seeing him for couples counseling, it would be unethical for the counselor to see me for individual counselling.
Thanks for the confirmation.
As a therapist myself-you
As a therapist myself-you just have to judge these situations on a case to case basis. It COULD be a conflict of interest-if this is a high conflict situation or it could be no big deal. What I would do is speak to your daughter alone and ask her honestly how she feels about it-tells her its no big deal either way-but she needs to feel comfortable as possible with her therapist.