Can I have Another Serving of More of the Same?
We're back to DH saying that I'm excluding poor SS13.
One: because I took my kids to the library to return their library books and after dropped by a CUB SCOUT membership event at their school. Yes, I said "cub scouts" for children under 10. Apparently, since DH is all of a sudden interested in SS13 joining the scouts, i've now excluded him by not bringing him. Even though the event was NOT for his age group. No I d didn't bother mentioning that I asked about the program for his age and No I didn't bother mentioning that I enrolled him in the summer reading program at the library also. All while SS worked on his homework in his room.
Two: Because apparently it's my fault that SS has been looking forward to attending day camp all year and since he is now 13 his program is only running once this summer for a 5 day period and he will be at BM's during that time. I took the time to explain to DH that that is the week that our baby is due. My DD will be out of town at camp that weekend, and my two boys will be home with me. I've been induced with all my children at term and assume this will be the same. I explained that should this happen, the children are covered. But of course, he doesn't know anything about any of the schedules.
All he knows is that MY kids are signed up for things all summer (actually they are each signed up for two things: one 5 day program and one 10 day program. I reminded DH that his son will be at BM's for half the summer.
I also told him that I'm tired of researching programs for SS. Filling out forms, paying for him and then have him roll his eyes, not participate and then say we "made" him do them. I told him that he's welcome to research programs that SS can be part of during his two week on/off schedule this summer.
DH's response is that we have to be a family. I treat SS differently. I favor my children.
This SM gig is getting old!
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Comments
I stood my ground last
I stood my ground last night.
He told me that I'm rude to SS and that he hears me talking about him to my friends (that NEVER happens). I told him that I'm entitled to my feelings and that I can only take so much from someone before I've had enough.
I told him that yes, I do treat my children differently because I have a history of Love with them, they respect me, they love me, they are polite and my feelings towards them are quite different than the feelings I have about and for SS.
I told him that SS is the only child that has ever told me he hates me since the day he met me, he's the only child that has told me no, he's the only child that does not thank me (for throwing him bday parties, for taking him places, for anything).
DH could only repsond, "he's not THAT bad of a kid. he could be doing a lot worse. He's gone through a lot."
I just told DH to help him then and follow through with his counselling, be a parent for him and give him what he needs - don't expect me to do for him as I do for mine, because he NEEDs different things than mine do. And he needs it FROM HIM!
I agree with you, Dtzy,
I agree with you, Dtzy, because I am also unfair. For example, I strip my daughter's bed once a week, but I don't do that for my SD. Well, that's because when we got married, DH said he would do this, this, and that, and taking care of SD's bedroom was on HIS list of things to do.
My BD has been a girl scout for 3 years, but not SD. Why? She has a mother. Let that lazy b*tch get up off her ass and DO something! And DH is as able as I am to sign his daughter up for things!!
If SD ever ASKED me to sign her up for something, I would. I wouldn't even consult her worthless, sorry excuses for parents. Screw them!! That's where I'm at.
Exactly. I tell all the kids
Exactly. I tell all the kids to bring their laundry baskets down once a week along with their sheets. I will do the laundry and send it back to them to fold and put it away. Guess which kid can't seem to manage that? And he's the oldest. My 9 year old does it just fine.
I try to let DH manage SS's cleaning of his room, his homework, his showering, but guess what? I'm almost positive that SS hasn't showered since Sunday morning where he supposedly showered at his mother's. It's Tuesday morning right now. My children shower every night and the shower is right next to his room.
Part of my "discussion" with DH last night was that SS has not even asked about boy scouts. EVER! Why am I going to chase him around to sign him up for something he may not even want to do. My little one is the one who asked about it so I drug both my boys down there to check it out.
Exactly! I told DH, to feel
Exactly! I told DH, to feel free to sign SS up for anything he wanted. (Like that will ever happen).