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A letter to my BF from my SD.

A STEP ahead of you's picture

Submitted by A STEP ahead of you on Wed, 10/20/2010 - 7:28pm

So yesturday after BF picked kids up from school, SD gave him a letter.
The letter said:
Dear Dad
I miss seeing u everyday day and everynight. I wish i can see u everyday like before. but not anymore because my mom doesn't let me she trys to get u introuble. She trys to take me and my brother(SS6) away from u. Love u dad. love SD10.

I was wondering can my BF use that letter in court? (Bf is taking BM back to court.)

little info: Seven months ago BM took BF back to court saying she wanted more time with the her kids and because she didn't want me around her kids. (wrote that down on court papers!!)
Anyways five years ago BF took BM to court when they frist split up because BM was keeping the kids from my BF, he won 50/50 custody and had his kids everyday and every weekend. Things went fine until 7 months ago when she found out that my BF propose to me, BM became a monster and ever since has made our life hell!
Well BM took my BF back to court and won alternating the weekends and MOndays and Wensdays BM get my Skids and BF gets Tuesdays and Thursdays. The last 7 months has been hard on my BF and my Skids. Skids cry when BM picks them up at 5:00 pm, so WE only get to see them 3 hours a day, 6 hours a week. When BF had them everyday until 8pm and everyweekend for 5 years!!!

Comments

alwaysme's picture

Submitted by alwaysme on Wed, 10/20/2010 - 8:48pm

I feel for you, the same thing happend to us, DH had 50/50 until he started seeing me and then BM took the kids off him completely and for the next 6 months he spent his time going to court to get them back, ended up with EOW access, she has made our lives a living hell for 4 years. Yes use absolutely EVERYTHING u can get your hands on for court. Document Everything. But unfortunately the courts generally give BM's priority but at least you have some grounds for a far better access arangement, sometimes courts can see that BM has no grounds for witholding access other than spite and jealousy, lets hope you are one of the lucky few!

A bit of advice "Hang on" you are in for a rough ride, experience has told me it only gets worse before it gets better. Just dont buy into BM bullshit, hold your head high and be dignified dont sink to her level. God I know its hard but trust me when i say she digs her own holes and looks stupid enough on her own.

Also i agree with skidsmini, pandering to BM doesnt help the kids, BM is going to be an asshole anyway, its unfortunate for the kids but you can not control BM behaviour only your own. Make life as pleasant as you can for them when they are in your care.

zenjetset's picture

Submitted by zenjetset on Wed, 10/20/2010 - 9:14pm

My FDH and I have hired an atty. We told him about the problems we were having with BM that seemed to coinside with major milestones in our relationship.

DH mentioned he has a GF - BM threw herself at FDH insisting he F her that he didn't have to see me. (classy lady...yep my thoughts exactly).

We announced our engagement - BM went into a narcissist rage! Calling FDH everyday and night (what's new I guess) then told him she needed therapy because of it, "I can't cope". She actually stated this in a text. LMAO

We annouced we closed on a house - BM went into a major narcissit rage!!! Interfering with visitation, calling me and FDH names, etc. etc.

When we mentioned these things to the atty, he said it's typical. I have asked FDH to never ever ever ever ever tell BM anything about our lives. We are in steath mode now. Nothing is shared about US. We are more top secret than the CIA or FBI put together.

Sorry, you have to deal with this...it's very difficult for young children to understand the decision that judges and courts make, but I believe you need to share the letter with your atty while at the same time have a conversation with SD letting her know you understand her feelings, and are listening to her concerns. Express your disappointments too. Show her you are interested in her feelings and comfort her with words of love and caring. Tell her you will try your best to make it better, but you can't promise it will. Kids appreciate honesty and sincere kindness. She will see you are trying and it will mean the world.

Good luck!