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Words to live by

StarStuff's picture

My mom gave me some sage words of advice the other day "Either I can be happy with the life I have, or I can be miserable thinking about the life I thought I'd have". This basically translates into feelings about raising someone else's child.

My mom is raising my 4 year old niece, and my sister23 still lives at home and is currently unemployable due to some health problems that will hopefully pass sooner rather than later. So mom understands how I feel, though she has the bonus of being related to the child that she's raising. I'm going to try to focus on these words and choose to be happy about the life I HAVE, instead of mope and be bitchy about not having the life I envisioned. SD8 is a sweet soul, though she's annoying as hell, and I'm the only mom she has right now, so I need to be good to her and try to raise her to be a good person so she doesn't end up like BM.

I aspire to be like my mom. Whenever I feel angry or don't want to do something with SD, I usually think, what would my mom do? Ha, I know a lot of people would die rather than become their mothers, but that's not the case with me. It would be the greatest achievement of my life if I could be as patient and loving as she is.

*Cue sappy music*

Comments

stepmisery's picture

Your mom is one smart cookies. She is so right about that too. It's so easy to fall into the trap of thinking this wasn't how life was supposed to be - and all those people you think are living your life actually have thorns on their roses too.

StarStuff's picture

Yes, no one has a perfect life, but we can CHOOSE to be happy...and if we're not happy, we have the power to change that too.

Disneyfan's picture

Doesn't that go against the you can't help how you feel stance?

If you can choose to be happy with your life, can't you also choose to like/love your SKs?

We can't turn our feelings off and on.

StarStuff's picture

I can be happy without loving my SD. I don't have to love her. I like her...sorta, sometimes. But it's more about not dwelling on what makes me unhappy and focusing on what makes me happy.