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Another long weekend

starreyedworkingmom's picture

This is a response to my previous blog entry...... Over this long weekend we just had my kids of course get into a fight. My youngest was on the computer and states she is bored w/ it and is done, so my older daughter decides to get on the computer and I go to the Laundry room. Well I do not know what got into my youngest daughter but she decides to hit her older sister, So when I come back she is crying. I did spank her for hitting her sis because i felt she was out of line. My husband came home from work when all this was going on, he was not happy that I had spanked her and he felt the need to investigate the situation. Then my youngest daughter lied to say that she had not said she was done w./ the computer. I was furious, I let him know she was lieing and let him know of the insident the weekend before w/ SD. So the he was upset and tried to call SD ( she lied about pushing my youngest daughter ) well BM wouldnt let him talk to her so he asked BM to ask her about what happened and she lied to BM about it. My husband was upset that they were lieing to get themselves out of trouble which is why im so upset and BM then gets upset w/ us and says we are blowing things out of proportion?? I think this needs to be nipped in the bud if at all possible. She says that we are hurting SD because she is very sensitive since her Dad is not able to see her that much. Should she not be held responsible for her actions ?? Whenever my daughters are all the time, this worries me about the future I want my daughters to respect each other and SD, but shouldnt she respect them too??

Comments

OldTimer's picture

If I were you, I would not let SD use the computer for awhile for one thing. Make sure she understands that lying is a form of disrespect and manipulation. You're the adult, she's the child and there are rules and boundaries to follow. When she can be trustworthy, and show you that she is, then it's time to talk about things and returning things to 'normal'. But since she is trying to manipulate, take the pc away from her for punishment, or other form of entertainment that she is really into. And sit down with her and discuss her feelings and your own. Give her some venting time and really listen to her too. You may find that there was a particular cause for her reaction that got over looked. But let her know what consequences there are for her actions and be firm with it.

I have mixed feelings about spankings. Many say that that is the end of a conversation, that it fosters resentment, violence, etc etc, blah blah blah, but I also think that sometimes, kids need to be reminded that they have to respect authority. Some kids I see can do with alittle old fashion discipline these days. So, I don't know, I like to think that a good old swap on the butt is in called for from time to time when all else has failed. I know that I certainly needed it from time to time! And I turned out just fine! lol.

starreyedworkingmom's picture

Thank you for the good advice... You have some really great ideas and i think i will try them.. I reacted so fast when it happened and if you knew my youngest daughter like i do, she has a really bad temper and she reacts w/ out thinking most of the time. My kids are always right under my feet and I am tired of her hitting her sis, all i could think of was giving her a taste of her own medicine. My parents spanked me and my sis for punishment. I dont resent my parents for it and we had to be really bad to get a spanking. We learned from it thats for sure, I still remember it.It is not something i do regularly for punishment, in fact its been years since she recieved a spanking. We are able to reason throught most fights. Thanks again for the advice.